expressions
by LucyValkyrie
Summary: after being raped, Shizuo finds Izaya atop a building ready to beat the crap out of him, but when the raven begins to act a little . . . different. they somehow begin living together. YAOI! smut, rape, and all that stuff. being rewritten
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first shizaya fanfic, please be nice.**

This place is so interesting.

He mused, standing above the city below, glistening with the movement of life.

When was the last time something boring happened? Yesterday? The day before? Last week? Last month? Last year?

He couldn't remember.

But his wicked smile never faded. Getting to his feet, he slipped his hands into the warm pockets of his coat, letting out a cold giggle.

These pawns, these lives, these people. He loved them. He loved them all. He loved them all so much that they could all just die. He loved everything about them: the love, the hate, the conflict, trust, distrust. Everything that made them human he loved.

But there was one who was different.

There was one that he wished would drop dead.

One that won't do as he expects. One that won't do what he wants. One that he wished would drop off the face of the earth. A monster that he wished would just die already.

After all, what's the point of having a pawn if you can't move it the way you want?

And as he stood atop a large concrete building that overlooked the city below. The monster stood behind him, filthily panting, showing signs that he ran all the way here.

Slowly, he craned his head behind him to stare at the beast; he instantly noticed the street sign post in the monster's right hand, bent in many angles. Then an idea formed in his head, what if he played with him instead? A secret grin appeared on his face

"It's been a while hasn't it, Shizu-chan," he faced the monster, ever close to the edge.

"Not long enough," the beast growled, his expression just as fierce as ever. "Now get the hell out of Ikebukuro!" he practically roared.

"Oh, such fierce words you're using," he cooed. He found it amusing to tease him; the expressions he makes were so funny that it sent chills down his spine.

And so, the game began.

"Shall we play a game? Shizu-chan," a devilish grin spread across his face, eyes glinting.

"What?" he seemed confused, it made his smile tug upwards even further with amusement. "Are you crazy, Izaya?"

"Of course not," Izaya said, playfully. "I simply wish to play a game. I have been curious as to what would happen if I suddenly disappeared."

"Are you kidding me?" He scoffed, "I wouldn't care. In fact, it'd save me a lot of trouble."

For an instant and only an instant, Izaya's smile faded, not liking that answer, but the smile came back as soon as he dropped it. "Oh? But I wonder what kind of expression you would make if I suddenly disappeared before your eyes, I'm really curious about it," he shrugged.

He remained silent, wondering where this conversation was going.

He backed towards the edge, never turning away from Shizuo, "the game is simple, give me your best face Shizu-chan," Izaya waved a finger in the air, "and if it's good enough, you win." He pulled his other hand from his pocket, and held out both arms wide, "so, shall we begin?"

Slowly, he leaned back.

And in that second, Shizuo instantly knew what Izaya was doing and his expression changed to one of shock and fear, even a hint of sorrow. For once, Shizuo had done as the raven had wanted. He closed his eyes, smiling.

…

At first, he thought he hit the ground without pain, he register his body. He couldn't think straight either. He was wondering if he was alive or dead. But as his mind pondered, a strong force gripped his wrist, pulling him upwards.

He thought that maybe it was an angel coming to take him away, up towards that place in the sky.

But all he felt was the cold rush of the night air and the hard surface of concrete as he hit the roof. He hadn't died, and there was no angel taking him away. His eyes opened, registering the blacken sky, he laid spread out, wondering what happened.

"Are you insane!" a roaring voice bellowed.

Izaya turned his attention towards the voice, Shizuo stood there, fists clenched into tighter balls, pure rage splayed across his face, but his eyes shown concern. He then straightened up, pointing towards Izaya. "From now on, you're no longer allowed to go towards the edge of a building without my permission, got it!"

He sat up, looking at Shizuo confused.

"Only I'm allowed to kill you! Got it! Not anyone else, not even you!" he snapped, "you hearing me!"

He didn't move. Izaya was still contemplating why Shizuo had saved him. Seeing his expression change for him was enough. But why let him live if he hates him so much?

Due to Izaya's silence, Shizuo pulled a cigarette to his mouth, lighting the end and breathing in the smoke before exhaling and letting the cigarette hang in his mouth.

"Dammit!" he growled, breaking the cigarette and tossing it to the ground. "I'm outta here." Shizuo began to walk, stepping past Izaya. But without thinking, a force gripped his pants, halting his movements. Shizuo glared down at the hand that gripped his pants. "What is it now?"

Izaya balled up, head down.

"Let go," he said, it wasn't ordering nor demanding. It was just cold words the way he said it. But Izaya didn't listen to them. Instead, he tightened his grip. "Let me go! Ya damn flea!"

"Don't go," Izaya whispered. He didn't want to be alone at the moment. Not right now.

"I can't hear you when you whisper," Shizuo grunted, scratching the side of his head.

"Don't go," Izaya said softly, loud enough for Shizuo to hear. "Please, don't leave me alone."

Pathetic! That's what he thought, that's what Izaya was right now, pathetic. He thought that as he clanged to his most hated person, desperately trying to keep him by his side. But pathetic must be what Shizuo was thinking, Izaya told himself. Yes, that was how to describe him now.

Pathetic.

"Ugh fine!" Shizuo grumbled. Suddenly, arms swooped down and encircled around Izaya, pulling him into the air with a surprise gasp. His hand instantly gripped the vest tightly as his surprised eyes looked at the deep black. Izaya felt the strong arms surrounding him as they carried him away; they felt safe and comforting as he relaxed into them. "I'll leave you at Shinra's place."

Izaya suddenly tensed at the comment that suddenly left his mouth. No! He began to tremble. Right now he felt a lot safer with Shizuo. He knew Celty would be there, and he knew nothing bad will come of staying at Shinra's place. But he couldn't handle it. "No," he whispered.

Shizuo looked down at the fearful expression the man in his arms had, questioning the look he had. He seemed so vulnerable right now, like a frightened kitten staring at the jaws of a lion. It seemed a little off putting to Shizuo, because he had never seen this side of Izaya and didn't know how to deal with it.

Then Izaya buried his face into Shizuo's shoulder, gripping his clothing a little tighter. "I don't want that," he said slowly.

"Fine," Shizuo sighed, "what's with you today?"

Yes, that would be true, what's with me. What's wrong with me? Izaya relaxed again, staring up at Shizuo's face. They had made it to the ground floor. Izaya wasn't sure what he was staring at, Shizuo's expression seemed calm, almost surreal against the darkness. And without thinking . . .

"Shizu-chan."

"Hmm?" Shizuo grunted in reply.

Izaya brought his hand up, touching Shizuo's cheek and bringing his face towards his own before planting his lips against his. Shizuo's eyes widen, a stunned expression played on his face as his cheek heated up a little. Izaya smiled as he pulled away, so innocent.

Due to the sudden kiss, Shizuo had stopped mid-walk. Izaya was expecting him to drop him right then and there, walk out and never look back. But Shizuo was frozen stiff; he never lost his stunned look. But he composed himself and began to walk outside.

Smiling gently, Izaya rested his head against Shizuo's shoulder, his steps gently rocking him to sleep, happy that Shizuo didn't abandon him.

The next thing Izaya knew was that Shizuo had plonked him down on a double bed. The mattress was a little hard, but at least the pillow was soft, the blankets felt warm. And Shizuo's scent was surrounding him.

Everything smelt like Shizuo. Izaya shifted to get comfortable, tossing left then right then back again. The smell will not leave him. Although he didn't mind the scent, this made it a little difficult to go to sleep.

"Will you sit still?" a voice warned in a deadly tone.

Izaya froze; he turned over to see Shizuo lying next to him. His eyes closed and his expression peaceful. He was so close to Izaya to, not even a foot away from him. Without thinking again or meaning to.

Izaya leaned in and kissed him.

Shizuo pushed him away instantly and turned over, standing. "Screw this, I'm sleeping out the couch," he scratched the side of his head. "What's with you today?" he muttered, walking out.

Izaya waited, grabbing the pillow Shizuo had been sleeping on and hugging it close to his chest, breathing in the warm scent that still remained. He waited, five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty, all the way to an hour later when he was sure Shizuo was asleep.

Izaya tiptoed his way out of the dark bedroom, into the living room where his eyes fell on the sleeping man, a blanket resting on him as he laid on his back, an arm above his head as his expression was even more peaceful.

Slowly and quietly, Izaya made his way towards the blonde, reaching down to pull the blanket up as he crawled on top of the man, careful not to wake him, as she shifted to get into a comfortable position laying on Shizuo. He placed the blanket back down on them and rested his head against Shizuo's chest, hearing him breath gently, the sound of his hear beat became that of a lullaby that Izaya couldn't but fall asleep to.

And with that, the sweet darkness encased him.

 **Please let me know what you think of it, it would help me out a lot to know of what I can do for this story.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Back with another chapter, I wasn't too sure what to do with the next few chapters so bear with me for a little while.**

 **Warning:** yaoi, rape

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters; they all belong to their respective owners**

… **.**

 _He felt his touches, cruel and cold. He heard his grunts and pants, furious with ecstasy. He saw his grin, wicked with delight. His body shadowed in the dim light, a devil above him._

 _His heart raced, his body pained and weak. He had to get away. He needed to get away. He clawed and scraped at the man, but nothing would work. Suddenly, the man gripped his face roughly, raised his head, and then slammed it back into the hard concrete._

Izaya jolted awake, a cold sweat flushed his body and his breath ragged. His eyes darted everywhere, in search of that devil.

No one but himself.

He settled, falling back onto the couch with a sigh. He really didn't like that dream filled with memories. It scared him. It terrified him to remember such things. He hugged his arms, feeling himself tremble with fear of the memory, as to give himself some form of comfort.

And that was when he realised he was alone.

Izaya looked around, wondering where Shizuo was. But the small complex he was in was completely empty. It was eerily quiet as well, and Izaya didn't like it. But then he realised that Shizuo must have left for work and let him be. His heart raced when he realised that Shizuo left him behind, fear began to form.

Deciding to distract himself, Izaya began to walk around, exploring this strange new place. The living room was the largest room in the apartment as he found out with a plasma TV, a black TV stand, a small cupboard, a desk, a coffee table in the middle of the room, a three seater lounge with a recliner next to it.

The living room is connected to the kitchen, it was small but ok to move around in. there was a bench with a chopping board on it, cupboards with dishes and glass cups as well as metal as Izaya explored them, a refrigerator with little food but glass bottles of milk. It made Izaya smile as he eyed the milk but closed the door.

Next was the bedroom, it was the second biggest room down the short hallway to the left. A double bed with a night stand either side with a lamp on each one, dark blue curtains drawn to keep the sunlight at bay, there was a closet with Shizuo's clothes in it as Izaya discovered.

Connecting to the bedroom was a bathroom, with a small sink, shower, bathtub, toilet, it was small but it seemed quite nice the way it was laid out. Coming back out, Izaya found the laundry room, a washer and drier, a white laundry basket, washing powder.

He found it strange that Shizuo hadn't kicked him out. He thought for sure that Shizuo would have kicked him out by now. Maybe it's out of pity that he's allowing Izaya to stay?

Izaya felt a sad smile appear; he balled himself up on the three seater black lounge. It wouldn't surprise him if it was out of pity that Shizuo was allowing him to stay. Even temporary. He just felt a little safer with him around.

…

Shizuo sighed as he hung his head, it had been a long day of work and getting back just as the sun was setting was never fun. He was totally exhausted as well, having dealt with twelve annoying clients that wouldn't fork over the money straight away.

He lost his temper more times than usual mainly because they had to deal with more people than the other days, and each one was just as annoying.

Unlocking his front door, he stepped inside, taking off his shoes and walking inside scratched the side of his head, sighing wearily.

"Welcome home Shizu-chan!" a voice that made him freeze sounded.

He had always lived in a house alone, why was there someone else in his house? But then he remembered to last night as his eyes fell on Izaya, wearing one of Shizuo's white buttoned up shirts with no pants on, his expression warm as he smiled.

Shizuo's eyes narrowed, he had completely forgotten about him.

"Sorry I had to burrow one of your shirts Shizu-chan, I wanted to wash my clothes and take a bath. Your also out of shampoo." Izaya pointed out.

Shizuo marched into his bed room then laid on the bed, he's already had enough dealing with work, and he didn't need another annoyance. But why hadn't the stupid flea left yet? Just knowing that Izaya was in his house was enough for Shizuo to almost lose it and start throwing anything at him.

Taking a deep breath after being in his room for almost an hour, Shizuo came back out, seeing Izaya was now dressed and sitting on the couch watching the news. Izaya had his fur trim coat sitting next to him, a calm expression on his face as he seemed interested in the TV, but Shizuo noticed a rather large tear in Izaya's shirt, black stained and a long cat appeared on his side as well as purple bruises on his neck and collar bone.

"Hey!" Shizuo walked towards him. "Let's go to Shinra's. That way you can go home after you get those checked out."

Izaya flinched at the thought of going away. Going back to his own place in Shinjuku where _they_ were most likely waiting for him. "No," he balled himself up. "I don't want to."

 _Because if I do, I won't be safe._

"Look, your injured aren't you? Doesn't that hurt," Shizuo gestured towards Izaya's cut, to which he quickly covered up. Izaya shielded his face, burying it onto his arm, not wanting Shizuo to see his expression.

"It's nothing." Izaya said, though it hurt when he touched the cut, he thought for sure that it would be healed enough by now, guess he was wrong.

"Like hell!" Shizuo grunted, he felt his fist clench tightly, wanting the small being sitting on his couch to wake up and say that he wasn't ok because it was really obvious that he wasn't.

Izaya flinched at Shizuo's tone. He wondered why Shizuo was interested in his injury. Didn't the man want him dead? But he didn't kick him out, that was most likely out of pity. Izaya felt tears sting his eyes when he thought that, hugging himself tighter.

He didn't want to be out there when there are demons lurking.

Having enough, Shizuo picked Izaya up from the couch by the back of his shirt, forcing him to his feet and shoving his coat into his chest hard. "We're going Shinra's, no arguments." He seethed.

This time, Izaya didn't protest as he slipped on his coat and followed Shizuo outside towards Shinra's. Izaya became painfully aware of alleyways and dark places, always checking and double checking just to make sure, Shizuo found this odd and had asked him, "what's wrong?"

And Izaya replied with, "nothing."

But when a cat jumped out and scared Izaya senseless, Shizuo found it extremely odd that Izaya had clung to his arm first instead of grabbing out a knife or something. But they made it to Shinra's without many problems.

"Hello Shizuo!" Shinra beamed. "What brings you here—"

Shizuo shoved Izaya towards Shinra. "He's injured; take care of him will ya?"

"Um . . .?" Shinra eyed Izaya curiously then stepped aside to let them both in. Following Shinra, Izaya walked into the back room where there was a mini hospital room with medical equipment and a bed.

At first, Izaya was hesitant and only went where Shizuo was. But once Shizuo was in that mini hospital room, Izaya sat on the bed waiting for Shinra to get ready.

"where have you been Izaya?" Shinra said as he came closer to Izaya, "you've been missing for three days now, Celty was starting to get worried since you wouldn't answer any of her calls."

Izaya stared at the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze. He didn't answer either.

"Take your shirt off; I need to see this cut." Shinra pulled on elastic gloves.

Now he trembled. He didn't want them to see. But knowing the both of them, Shinra would get annoying and Shizuo's rage would sky rocket if he didn't do as he was told. So he hesitantly pulled his shirt off.

Shizuo's eyes widen a little and his face softened as he stood in the doorway, staring at the sight before him. Izaya's body was completely covered in black and blue bruises, some had turned purple and where larger than his hand. The smaller bruises looked like hickeys of some sort. The cut on his side was big, though not exactly deep, it made Shizuo question what happened to him to make him this way. Seeing enough, Shizuo left and found Celty and the two began talking.

"Geez Izaya!" Shinra gasped. "What happened to you?"

He didn't want to say, his body trembled just thinking about, but Shinra saw his fearful and sad expression and didn't ask any further questions. It looked like a touchy subject so he focused on bandaging Izaya's wounds instead.

It was half an hour later when Shinra decided to come out again to relay the news that Izaya's injures weren't severe but he needed to be looked after.

"hey Shizuo, can you do me a favour?" Shinra asked, clasping both hands together and smiling. Shizuo instantly didn't like where this was going, he had a gut feeling he wasn't going to favour what spewed from this man's mouth. "could you please look after Izaya until he gets better?"

Celty had felt something snapped inside Shizuo's, something that sounded like he was going to tear Shinra apart in a second after losing his patience. Before she could try and calm Shizuo down, Shinra spoke first.

"Just listen ok? I'm not allowed to tell you exactly what happened on Izaya's request, but Izaya has been missing for three days now, almost four. I can tell you that something bad has happened to him and I think it'll be best if he was with you for the time being. So, please just take care of him?" he asked politely. "it'll be until his wounds heal."

"And how long will that be?" Shizuo growled, trying to stay as calm as possible so he doesn't lash out.

"Shouldn't be too long, about a month or two?" He shrugged.

[Shizuo, I think you should do it] Celty tugged on his sleeve, showing him her message.

"Are you crazy?" Shizuo seethed, glaring fiercely.

[Just listen, if something did happen to I, wouldn't it be best if you were with him, that way until he heals, he can leave and everything will be alright?] Celty hastily typed.

Shizuo sighed in defeat at her reasoning. "Alright fine! But only until he heals, then he's on his own." He huffed, sticking a cigarette into his mouth and lighting the end.

"Excellent!" Shinra beamed, "I'll go tell him." Shinra disappeared back inside to tell Izaya the good news.

And so, they began their long journey.

… **..**

 **I hope you guys like this chapter, if you like this story I'll keep going and putting out chapters as fast as I can, (I'm in the middle of my exams at the moment)**

 **Thank you**


	3. Chapter 3

**Back with another chapter, I wasn't too sure what to do with the next few chapters so bear with me for a little while.**

 **Warning: yaoi, rape**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters; they all belong to their respective owners**

… **..**

Day one of living together wasn't so bad, Izaya mostly kept quiet and to himself, asking only when he wanted something which wasn't very offend. It didn't bother Shizuo that much since he returned very late at night and Izaya wasn't in his way then.

Day three of living together was pretty much the same, although Izaya was asking more things and Shizuo was becoming slightly annoyed at it. Izaya had also relaxed his position as a guest in Shizuo's house and began to move around the house, getting in the way a lot when Shizuo was there, which was starting to piss him off a bit.

Day six was even worse. Izaya had returned to his olds ways, finally loosening up around Shizuo and speaking outright to him whenever he had the chance. Izaya had also been complaining about everything that Shizuo had and did, especially his cooking since he loved to mock it, but ate it regardless.

And that had pissed Shizuo off the most.

Shizuo had lost it more than once, he had almost destroyed his coffee table when Izaya insulted his smoking habit, but Shizuo thought better off it and went out to take a walk. Another time was when Izaya insulted his job, almost throwing the raven out the window, but he walked into the bathroom to take a shower instead, to take his mind of it. the worst time was when Izaya had both insulted his cooking and his brother, he had almost thrown his refrigerator at him, but Izaya convinced him not to unless there'd be damages that he couldn't cover, which then left Shizuo to go to bed.

It didn't help that they had to share a bed as well, but Shizuo was offend woken at night with Izaya clawing at his back in his sleep, sudden kicks slammed into his legs and tossing left and right, not being able to stay still for even a second. It was annoying Shizuo to his breaking point over and over again as he watched the raven. But he kept his cool when he saw tears stream down Izaya's cheeks when he faced him, his expression scared, terrified even. Many times Izaya had clung to his arms and balled himself up into something so small and fragile.

It offend made Shizuo wonder what he was dreaming of.

It couldn't be good since Izaya was always crying and scared. But he never woke up from his dreams, not even once. Shizuo looked upon Izaya now, tears streaming down the raven's face, making him look so very vulnerable it hurt Shizuo just to look.

An idea popped into Shizuo's head, and without giving it a second thought, he pulled Izaya towards him, stroking his oil black hair. He made a mental note for him to kick himself later. But right now, he couldn't stand seeing this annoying brat of an enemy suffer like this.

It almost hurt him to watch knowing he couldn't do anything to help.

…

"Hey!" Kadota had found Shizuo on his break in South Ikebukuro Park.

Shizuo looked up at him from his seat on a park bench, cigarette in hand. "Yo," he gave a wave.

"So I heard Izaya has been staying with you lately." Kadota took a seat next to Shizuo. Shizuo had wondered how he knew that since he didn't tell anyone, but then he remembered he told Shinra, so Shinra must have told Kadota. "He was pretty banged up when walker and that found him."

"You guys found the flea?" Shizuo gave him a confused look. Wondering why Izaya had goaded him into chasing him down before finding him at the top of a building if he was beaten badly?

"Well, not exactly, he refused our help and disappeared as soon as we found him. He seemed," Kadota paused, finding his words. "Different. Like something had shocked him into a different person."

"Well, you'll be happy to know that he's back to his usual self." Shizuo growled. He preferred it when Izaya was quiet and wouldn't get in the way, like on the first few days, that way he barely knew that he shared his small apartment.

"Really? That's good at least," Kadota stood up, slipping both his hands into his pockets. "When we found him, he seemed more dead than alive. All I know is that whatever happened to him was something bad. Worse then what he'd probably do."

Shizuo contemplated this, that statement was bluntly obvious at this point. After all, he had been wondering what had happened to Izaya as well. It seemed like it was something he couldn't just casually say like all the other things he says. Although he was very secretive about his personal history, hell! Shizuo barely knew his history! No, this was something he couldn't discuss with no one but the ones he deeply trusted, those who wouldn't betray him.

"Anyway, I'm heading off, later!" Kadota gave a wave.

"See ya," Shizuo stood and dropped his cigarette butt to the ground, squishing it then picking it up again and placing the butt into his cigarette packet. He headed out to find Tom since his break had ended.

The whole way, he had begun thinking about different possible situations for someone like Izaya to become traumatised in; none of them seemed the least bit plausible. Not a single one seemed to fit the picture.

"Hey Shizuo!" Tom gave a wave as he waited on the street.

"Hi Tom, ready to go?" Shizuo asked, trying not to focus too much on Izaya right now.

"Yeah," Tom pulled out a slip of paper form his jacket and scanned it over. "Our next one is a business man who bit off more than he could chew."

"Right," he nodded, following Tom to their next destination.

….

Having enough of being inside all day with barely anything to do for a week, Izaya decided to step outside and take a walk since the last time he got outside was when Shizuo had taken him to Shinra's and back to get his injures taken care of.

Although he was back to his normal self. He was still wary of dark alleyways, checking them thrice just to make sure nothing will jump out and give him a heart attack.

He made sure not to wonder too far away from Shizuo's apartment, after having locked it up with the spare key Shizuo had given him if Izaya ever needed to go outside.

The streets did hold people and he zipped through them, blending in as best he could as to not draw attention. But it was really hard to concentrate on doing that when he had this feeling that he was being watched.

Each turned Izaya made, he would look over his shoulder just to make sure that no one was following him. He avoided walking close to alleyways and dark streets. He always stayed with the crowd, never straying too far from a heavy crowd.

And with feeling himself stretched and worn from his long walk, Izaya headed towards Shizuo's house, feeling a little safer with that thought.

But not everything is as happy as it seems.

Hands gripped him from behind and began dragging him into the dark, cloth around him mouth to keep him silent as he struggled to get back towards the light. But to no avail, he lost his will to fight as well as all his strength caused by his injuries, and unwillingly let the hands carrying him further into the darkness.

…..

Shizuo was heading home by sunset, he had finished work earlier today and was really looking forward to dinner, as in the food rather than his new annoying roommate.

He felt his stomach growl in protest at not being fed and a smile formed on his face as he finally felt calm and happy that day.

Izaya had been more annoying than usual today, complaining about how he never got to go out. So Shizuo gave him his spare key right before he left. At first, he wondered what Izaya had done with it, wondering if he had finally gone home or if he was still there. He wished Izaya wasn't there anymore, it was seriously affecting his patience.

But Izaya's sudden disappearance and attitude change, just something about it seemed a little . . . disturbing. He didn't like it, this change in Izaya. It made him weak, vulnerable, scared. He was like a frightened kitten. He just seemed so out of place now.

And Shizuo didn't like that.

He wanted the flea to go back to the way he was before, back to when he was mocking, sadistic and more importantly, not scared. That Izaya was so annoying that he would always annoy the fuck out of him. Well, at least he was becoming normal again and acting more like himself.

But dark a sight made Shizuo halt in his trek home. Izaya was stumbling towards him, a large cut on his leg, the side of his shirt was torn and a large bruised cut lay upon his cheek. Kadota's words flashed in his mind.

" _He seemed more dead than alive."_

Izaya stopped, looking up seeing Shizuo standing there. Suddenly, Izaya's eyes watered and he bolted towards Shizuo, tripping and falling straight into the blonds arms.

And once again, Shizuo was speechless, his mind working overtime to figure out what was wrong with Izaya this time. He looked down at the whimpering Izaya, who was trembling badly in his arms, gripping his sleeves with so much force that Shizuo thought it would break. Izaya hadn't found his legs either as he limply clung to Shizuo.

He eyed Izaya's fear filled expression. Izaya was just starting to become normal again, and then something like this happens. Slowly, Shizuo turned his hold into a hug, gently caressing the raven's hair in an attempt to calm him down, he remembered that his mother would do this for him after Shizuo had a nightmare, it'd always help him calm down a little better.

Now, he is left to wonder what happened to Izaya once more.

… **.**

 **Tell me what you think of this new chapter. I've finally figured out how this story is going to end so I plan to space it out over another twenty chapters or so. Also, tell me if this has any OOCness, I hope that I've put each one of the characters in their respective personalities.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Back with another chapter! Yay! I do plan on making these chapters longer. don't be afraid to leave a review, it helps me out and gives me a lot more motivation to keep writing chapters.**

 **Warning:** rape and yaoi

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters; they all belong to their respective owners**

… **..**

"It's even worse than before." Shizuo breathed in the smoke from his cigarette. He had watched Shinra dress the fresh bruises on Izaya's body, they had become a darker shade and more were spread across his body, as well as the hickeys.

Not wanting to see more, Shizuo left before he grew too sick to handle it. It was hard to watch when your enemy like that, covered in blacken bruises from head to toe, knew hickeys had a appeared on his body as well, going straight down his torso and disappearing down his pants line towards his—

He really didn't want to think about that.

Celty stood by Shizuo outside on the balcony, listening to his words.

"Those bruises, I mean." He said slowly, continuing. "He's even more jumpy then before. Not to mention he won't let go of my sleeve when we came here so I had to take the back alleys to avoid attention, but that only made the walk even longer because he refused to go in there until I convinced him otherwise, he did that for every single alley and it'd pissed me off. Geez!" he ruffled his hair in annoyance. "This is becoming a pain in the ass to deal with."

Celty nodded listening; she pulled out her phone and typed a message, showing it to him. [But still, is it alright to just leave him alone like that in your house? Didn't you say that the key was stolen from him?]

"Yeah," he nodded, remembering that Izaya stuttered with that explanation so it took half an hour just for him to say 'your spare key has been stolen.' And now he had to worry about something like whoever took his spare key would break into his house and _beat_ Izaya up again when he wasn't there.

Sighing, Shizuo shook his head, not knowing what to do now. He could have Shinra look after Izaya instead, but Izaya seemed jumpy around Shinra and didn't want Shizuo to leave him alone with the man. He was even more frightened of Celty, as he hid behind Shizuo when she was in the room, always keeping an eye on her just to make sure she won't come near him.

It was definitely worse than before.

"Man this sucks," Shizuo complained.

[All we can do is give our support and hope that he gets better Shizuo] Celty typed.

"That's true," Shizuo said after reading her message. He put his cigarette out and binned it. They both walked back inside and Shinra was the first to approach him.

"Hey Shizuo," Shinra said with a casual smile. "I have a favour to ask you."

"Is it important?" Shizuo grumbled as he sat down. He noticed Izaya wasn't around. Must be still inside the back room, he decided.

"Very actually," Shinra nodded, his expression turning serious. "I'm not exactly sure how Izaya managed to get into this situation. But it seems to be getting worse. So instead of just keeping an eye on him, I'd like for you to become his bodyguard, you know, protect him."

Shizuo's brow twitched in annoyance. Though Shinra did have a point. If something like this were to happen again, Izaya might not survive the next attack. That was clear since it'd looked like Izaya had barely enough strength left in him when Shizuo had found him. Like all will to live had been drained out of him. And those bruises looked internal, far worse than the first ones he got.

[I think that will help Izaya a lot!] Celty typed, trying to Shizuo to do it. [Besides, think of what might happen if Izaya was left alone at your place and whoever did this knew. I don't think Izaya will feel safe knowing that.]

Shizuo sighed, running a hand through his hair. She did have a point. Again.

Izaya seemed to be walking on thin ice right now, and Shizuo knew that it was only a matter of time when that ice would crack and Izaya would lose it.

"Alright fine!" he grumbled, getting to his feet and heading towards the back room. Shizuo opened the door, "hey! Let's go!"

His eyes fell onto a sleeping Izaya, tucked into the bed and shivering, clutching the blankets and pillows a little too tightly for comfort. Another nightmare, Shizuo decided as he sat on the bed. He looked down at Izaya, watching him breathe sharp intakes of breath and tremble.

Then tears came.

Shizuo had wiped them away before they fell, his hand seemed to calm Izaya down a little as his breath relaxed and his grip soften on the pillow and blanket. Shizuo noted that Izaya seemed to recognise his touch. "Come on, let's go home."

After pulling Izaya onto his back, Izaya instantly wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck, not to choke but to hold on tightly.

"Bye Shizuo, take care of Izaya for us!" Shinra called, waving goodbye as Celty did.

[Let me know if you need something that will help] Celty showed him.

"Thanks," Shizuo nodded, walking outside in the night air, it was almost mid-night and the air was chilly tonight. With a sigh, he made his way towards home.

….

Shizuo had stayed awake as Izaya laid next to him, watching the raven closely. Izaya seemed to be a lot more rested when in Shizuo's arms and he made a mental note of that. It at least made the raven stop his tossing and turning, and more importantly his tears.

But at some point Shizuo had fallen asleep because the only thing he knew was waking up to see Izaya's head resting on his chest as he laid on his back. Shizuo blinked as he realised he had an arm wrapped around Izaya's waist and an arm above his own head. He had wondered why his alarm didn't wake him up like usual.

"Oh yeah, it's the weekend." He whispered to himself, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He began to sit up when Izaya's hand shot out and gripped his arm, murmuring in his sleep again, and since Shizuo slept without a shirt on, Izaya gripped skin.

Shizuo looked down at the still sleeping form and sighed, remembering what Shinra had told him last night, but looking over at his clock he realised that it was still early, only 8:15.

Deciding not wanting to get out of bed, Shizuo laid down again, wrapping an arm around Izaya and placing a hand behind his head, he stared at the ceil as Izaya snuggled closer. As he found out, Izaya loved to snuggle which made it a little harder to sleep with Izaya clinging to his arm or back every second of the night. But now, since he got used to it, it wasn't so bad.

Before he fell asleep, Shizuo went over everything that happened after he found Izaya atop that building. Something just didn't sit right with him about it. But pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he fell asleep.

…..

Waking up with his face buried in the pillow and no sleeping Izaya next to him. Shizuo groggily sat up, wondering what happened to the other, scratching the side of his hair with a yawn.

"S-S-Shizu-chan," a quiet voice sounded, making Shizuo jump as two hands lightly shook his arm. He noticed to his surprise that Izaya was sitting down next to his side of the bed on the ground. Shizuo wondered how long he had been there for.

"Um, yeah?" he looked strangely at him wondering what he was going to say.

"I'm hungry, c-could you please make breakfast?" Izaya asked shyly in that shaky voice.

Well, at least he was speaking. "Sure," Shizuo stood up and headed towards the kitchen, feeling Izaya follow him close behind. As Shizuo placed a large frying pan on the stove, he turned it on and began to cook the cold bacon he pulled from the fridge. As he pulled out the eggs and fried them up, Izaya followed him still, never leaving his side.

Last night Izaya had barely said a word; he stayed silent only giving a slight nod or a small shake of his head to simple questions. Now Shizuo was beginning to get worried about it. This _thing_ that was affecting Izaya was beginning to get to him.

And he didn't like it.

He set a plate down in front of Izaya as well as himself, they ate in silence so Shizuo had time to plan out his day, he had to go shopping since he was running out on food and he needed to do a bit of laundry as well since he was running out of clean clothes.

After breakfast Shizuo went to go shopping, bringing Izaya along with him. Since alleys and dark places were scaring Izaya, Shizuo avoided them and decided to take the main streets instead. The whole way Izaya clung to his sleeve like a small child, keeping his gaze to the ground and trusting Shizuo to lead him.

When choosing food, he had chosen food that he wanted and asked Izaya if he wanted anything, he shook his head in reply. Shizuo didn't mind the fact that Izaya was quiet, but it just meant that they were back to square one again after the first time. It was really pissing Shizuo off.

After returning home, Izaya had helped put away the groceries and began following Shizuo everywhere he went, not wanting to let him out of his sight for a second. Shizuo had to admit, it was cute the way Izaya followed him everywhere like a lost puppy but he had long gotten used to Izaya presences and didn't mind the fact that he was following him everywhere in the first place. If it had been before this whole thing, he was sure that he'd be pissed at this display. But now Shizuo couldn't find the strength to get angry, in fact he found it cute with the shy expression Izaya had when Shizuo would look at him.

The following day, the locks on the door had been replaced, much quicker than expected since Shizuo had asked the landlady yesterday about changing the locks when someone stole his key.

Shizuo received a new key and a spare, giving the spare to Izaya so he could go and do as he pleased, though the raven never left the house without Shizuo by his side.

For some reason, Izaya just felt a lot safer with the beast by his side. Probably because Shizuo had the strength to protect him if something were to go wrong. But Izaya didn't know why he felt safer with Shizuo, especially in his arms when he could be so easily crushed. But Shizuo had always held him gently, as if he was holding something delicate and didn't want to break it.

Izaya stared up at the blonde as they lay in bed. Shizuo's arms circled around him limply as he slept. Izaya hadn't fallen asleep just yet, he wanted to watch the other sleep first, since he had this feeling Shizuo was always watch him sleep. He heard Shizuo's silent deep breathes, felt his steady heartbeat against his hands, watched those parted lips. He couldn't take it any longer.

Izaya leaned over and placed his lips to Shizuo's in a long kiss before nuzzling against his chest, falling straight to sleep with a slight smile.

… **.**

 **I'm actually quite surprised at how many views this story has, over 600!**

 **This makes me very happy that people are reading and enjoying this story. Tell me what you think about this story as well. if you have any problems with it, tell me, I'm very opened minded about this sort of stuff and I'm not easily offended.**

 **I'd also liked to thank those who did review this story, those comments gave me motivation and I love it when I do get reviews.**

 **I plan on making the chapters longer as well.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Back with another chapter! Yay! I do plan on making these chapters longer. Don't be afraid to leave a review, it helps me out and gives me a lot more motivation to keep writing chapters.**

 **Warning:** rape and yaoi

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters; they all belong to their respective owners**

… **..**

"Ah, Shizuo?" Tom looked behind his partner, staring at the smaller man clutching to his sleeve.

"Yeah?" Shizuo replied in a flat tone.

"Why is—" Tom noticed Izaya hide behind Shizuo even more. "Never mind," he waved off. "Anyway, we've got a full day starting with a drug addict over in the south that apparently doesn't have any money."

"Alright." Shizuo nodded and began to follow Tom as Izaya still clung to his arm. He didn't mind it really, it was a good way for him to keep track of Izaya, as long as he knew he was clinging to his arm or shirt, he could react quickly in case something happened to Izaya and he could take action instantly.

But it also slightly worried Shizuo as well since Izaya had stopped speaking outwardly, or when he did use words, it was polite and only a sentence long. But ever since there last visit to Shinra's, Izaya had been keeping close and following Shizuo pretty much everywhere, even when he goes to the toilet.

….

 _Earlier that day._

 _Shizuo had just finished his breakfast and watched as Izaya was barely halfway through his. It also annoyed Shizuo about how much Izaya ate and it was slightly worrying that he never finished his plate._

" _Hey listen," Shizuo started._

 _Izaya looked up at him._

" _I have to go to work today so you can either stay here or come with me—" before he could explain further, Izaya had reach over and gripped Shizuo's white T-shirt sleeve with scared eyes. It did surprise him a little at Izaya's sudden act of speed. Shizuo hadn't seen him move that fast in a long time, or at least in the time Izaya has been staying with him._

" _So um," Shizuo scratched the back of his head, not really knowing what to do as Izaya bowed his head. "I guess leaving you here is out of the question, so you'll be coming with me then."_

…

Shizuo sighed; he had already explained that he was living with someone to Tom beforehand, just to make sure that Tom knew Shizuo's new situation. But he forgot that barely anyone knew about Izaya was his new roommate and he kind of accidently left that part out.

Tom had teased Shizuo that he had finally found a girlfriend but he congratulated him on it afterwards. But now that Shizuo had explained that it wasn't actually a girlfriend that he had, to which Shizuo was dejected about during his explanation, it was in fact Izaya that was staying with him when they met up for work this morning. Tom didn't ask questions about, judging by Izaya's drastic change in attitude, and instead continued work.

It seemed alright at first, Izaya stayed out of the way and let the professionals handle the job, though Izaya was a little curious about how Shizuo did handle his job so he stood back and watched.

The first guy forked over the cash as soon as Shizuo ripped the front door off, which had been bolted shut to protect himself from the raging monster of Ikebukuro. It didn't work of course so he handed over the money instantly.

The next one was a little more trouble as he had pulled a knife out and began waving it at tom, to which Shizuo responded with almost tossing the man out the window. But they eventually got the money out of him and left.

The third one was the most difficult since he ignored the claims of debt and pretended not to notice the newcomers in his home. Then Tom hit a nerve about the money and the guy pulled out a butcher's knife, charging towards Izaya since he stayed near the door and seemed the weakest. But that was an even bigger mistake as Shizuo stepped out in front of him and broke the guys arm.

It was now Shizuo's job to protect both Tom and Izaya. Though Tom was alright most of the time, Shizuo only needed to protect Tom when some guy went on the attack and charged at tom. Izaya was a little more complicated since he seemed like a weak link, but Shizuo didn't mind it since Izaya seemed to go unnoticed most of the time.

Since Izaya mostly clung to Shizuo's arm when moving between clients, it was easy to make sure he didn't run off. But he also had to keep an open eye as for anyone in dark alleyways or shady spots with less people. During the jobs they had to do, Izaya would stand back such as against a wall or by the door. Shizuo made sure to always keep an eye on Izaya to make sure he was still there or not freaking out.

The lunch break had come and Shizuo paid for both his and Izaya's lunch. It surprised Tom a little when Shizuo was showing acts of kindness towards his enemy. Then almost shocked when Shizuo had cleaned Izaya's mouth with a napkin when Izaya had finished eating.

Tom was sure the world was coming to an end.

"So, what's with you and Izaya being buddy-buddy." Tom suddenly asked, the curiosity had finally got to him after lunch, on their way towards there next debt collection.

"Hmm," Shizuo craned his head to glance over his should at Izaya, who was staring at the ground with a hand on the back of Shizuo's shirt.

Shizuo looked back towards tom. "Well, I can't really go into much detail about it." he admitted, scratching the back of his head. "Not even I know what happened to him. But he seems to have suffered from something and now he's like this. He suddenly grew attached to me and I'm on doctor's orders to protect him to make sure nothing bad happens to him."

When Tom looked over his shoulder at Izaya, who hid behind Shizuo even more, he gave a sigh. "Alright, guess that would explain why he's following you around. I won't ask into it anymore. We've got a job to do and we don't need to worry about this right now."

"Yeah," Shizuo nodded.

…

Shizuo rubbed the back of his head as she stepped inside his house, yawning as Izaya followed. They had finished a little later than expected.

"I'll start on dinner so you go have a bath ok?" Shizuo said to Izaya, who nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

As Shizuo began pulling out ingredients for dinner, he heard the bathwater running. At least Izaya seemed a little more moveable then before, Shizuo had told Izaya that before they left the house this morning, he was to stay away from any sort of conflict Shizuo had gotten into, just to make sure that if something happened, he was able to get out of the way quick enough without injury. If Izaya was clinging to him during the short bursts of rage Shizuo had, he was sure Izaya would be even more damaged.

An image flashed in Shizuo's mind about Izaya's bruises. They seemed so painful; it made him wonder how Izaya could still move even with all those injuries. It must have been hard to keep up with them during their travels all over Ikebukuro.

He didn't like those bruises.

Whoever had made those bruises, they got guts, especially making more when Izaya was with Shizuo. He didn't realise he was gripping the kitchen knife handle too hard until a soft pale hand laid on his. He looked down at his hand to see Izaya standing there, in new clothes and wet hair; he was gently caressing the blondes hand until he relaxed.

"Ah, sorry," Shizuo went back to his cooking while Izaya stood back but not too far away.

….

Over the week Izaya had been going to work with Shizuo. And each day was taking its toll on Izaya's body. Shizuo would offend have to carry Izaya home after he had fallen asleep standing up.

On the last day of the week, Shizuo had actually ended up carrying Izaya from lunch break till they got home since he had fallen asleep. But Shizuo knew better then to think he was exhausted from all the walking. It was because of those bruises that he had. They seemed to be affecting his stamina and when Shizuo would look over his shoulder to check on Izaya every now and then, he would always see a pained expression on Izaya's face and panting breathes.

And it hurt him just to watch.

By week two, most of Izaya's light bruises had healed up, the bigger and darker ones had turned a lighter shade but they still hurt as Izaya described. He had gotten a little better, he would talk a little more but said nothing rude or offensive which surprised Tom a lot since he had only ever know Izaya to insult Shizuo every chance he got.

But Tom was actually beginning to like this new Izaya, as was Shizuo. Izaya still stayed out of the raging conflicts Shizuo was in. although he had gotten used to tom's presence and he knew he wasn't dangerous, Izaya still kept his distance from him.

By the end of week two. Izaya seemed mostly fine, he was starting to talk to Tom a little and as Shizuo had noted, Izaya's nightmares seemed to have stopped. Much to his relief. Izaya's bruises were healing nicely as Shinra had put it when they went for a check-up.

…..

"Hey Shizu-chan," Izaya suddenly spoke; they had gotten take out from Russia sushi because Shizuo didn't feel like cooking. Izaya sat down at the small table with Shizuo adjacent to him.

"Yeah?" Even though he hated that nick name, Shizuo knew that it was no longer for the purpose of insulting.

"Will tomorrow be a long work day?" Izaya popped a piece of ootoro into his mouth.

"Probably. It depends on how many people haven't paid their debts." Shizuo replied.

"Ok. I was just wondering why we always get home later some days and earlier other days." he nibbled the ends of his chopsticks.

"Do you not like being outside for too long?" Shizuo looked up at him, he had noticed when they had to deal with clients, Izaya had moved away from the door and began to stay closer to Tom or the wall, some place hidden from the door's view.

Izaya bowed his head, not wanting Shizuo to see his expression.

"It's ok. I understand. You can stay here if you really want to." Shizuo said, although he regretted saying it when a scared expression surfaced on Izaya's face again, it was vivid in his eyes.

"No!" Izaya blurted. He covered his mouth instantly after and quietened down. Shizuo remained patient as he waited for Izaya to explain. "Well, it's not that I mind it really, I just don't want to be out _there_ for so long."

Shizuo noticed Izaya's trembling and placed a hand on his shoulder. Izaya had always seemed to relax at his touch which was good since he was pretty bad at comforting words.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you in the dust so you can go and get hurt again. I'm on strict orders to protect you no matter what right? I won't let you get hurt ok?" the hand left as Shizuo stacked the empty boxes of sushi and headed towards the kitchen to bin them.

With Shizuo's back to him, Izaya flushed at the comment, cheeks a deep pink.

That night, Izaya had stayed awake again, watching the man sleeping soundly next to him. Watching him take in silent deep breathes and seeing his chest rise and fall.

A sweet smile played across his face, one that wasn't mocking or evil. It was one that he used for Shizuo and Shizuo only.

As Izaya snuggled closer to Shizuo, he felt warm and the pain from his bruises were nothing now.

He felt happy.

…

 **I wasn't quite sure how to end this chapter but the previous chapters were sort like the opening. From now on it'll be a bit on izaya's past on how he came to become like this.**

 **Also, please tell me if there are any spelling mistakes or incorrect words. I do check my chapters thoroughly but I sometimes miss something like a misspelt word or put a word with incorrect meaning.**

 **Leave a review it always helps me put these out faster.**

 **I'd also like to thank everyone for reviewing, you're the best!**

 **Until next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Just one thing. I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing! They help me out a lot and get me to put these chapters faster. Also a special thank you to Kajune for pointing out some of my mistakes. I do have a habit of forgetting that I'm editing and instead read my chapters without fixing any of the mistakes.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respective owners**

… **.**

[How's Izaya?] Celty asked. She found Shizuo in a park during his break. He looked a little lonely so she thought she have a chat.

"He's getting better at least," Shizuo sighed, blowing out a cloud of smoke from his cigarette. Week four and some of Izaya's personality has returned. Some, just noticeable with certain things, though he isn't as annoying as before. In fact, Shizuo doesn't think Izaya is annoying anymore, which surprised him a little.

[That's good,] Celty typed. [I was worried that he wasn't getting better. But I'm glad he's doing well.]

"Yeah," he agreed. Although Shizuo was happy that Izaya was getting better. His bruises have all healed and there's not even a trace left on him. When they went back to Shinra's, he told them that Izaya was fit for work and could go back to his home.

Shizuo was expecting the raven to agree and go back to his old ways as soon as possible. But what Shizuo thought and what Izaya did were two completely different matters. While Shizuo didn't care all that if Izaya went back home or to his old life, Izaya felt conflicted about it, like he seemed a little scared of what might happen if he went back there alone, at least that's what his expression had shown and what Shizuo's instincts told him.

So Shizuo allowed Izaya to continue living with him. After all, he still wanted to know just what made him change drastically. Izaya still stayed quiet about it, and Shizuo didn't want to push him too much for the truth just in case they might step over the line and Izaya closes himself up again, setting them back to square one.

Right now, Izaya was hanging around Tom so that he was able to keep an eye on him while Shizuo had some time to himself. The raven hadn't left his side even for a second as Tom noted since the first time he saw them together.

Though Izaya had gotten used to Celty's company whereas before he wouldn't even look nor come near her, which was a good thing since she comes over every other day to check on them. It was kind of a relief for both Shizuo and Celty since it meant that Izaya was getting better.

[Does he go out?] Celty asked.

"Sometimes, but he only goes within range of my apartment but he doesn't stay out long, only for a few minutes at a time. And when he does go out, he only goes where I go." Shizuo scratched the back of his head. It wasn't annoying the way Izaya would always follow him everywhere, it was kind of endearing in a way that made his life just that little bit more peaceful so he wasn't going to complain any time soon. What was bothering him was the fact that when Izaya would follow him, he always held a cute expression with blushing cheeks and wide child-like eyes that Shizuo found adorable.

And that crept him out a little.

[Can he hold a normal conversation?] Celty wanted to know because she wanted to tell Shinra, he was a little worried about Izaya's mental state rather than his physical state, so she thought she'd do a little digging into the matter to reassure him that Izaya was doing better.

"Yeah, mostly. When it's just us at home he can hold a conversation pretty well and not spout useless shit like he did before. But when we're in public, it's a little different. You're lucky to get a full sentence out of him since he barely talks to people other than me." Shizuo binned his finished cigarette. "But at least he's talking a little more."

[But he seems a lot more comfortable when you're around] Celty noted this from all their interactions. When Shizuo was around Izaya would talk, though it was only a few words, he said those words calmly and he didn't fidget. But when Shizuo wasn't standing near him, Izaya became extremely nervous, always staring at the ground, stuttering with words and fidgeting like he had an itch he couldn't scratch. There was a huge difference between Izaya alone and Izaya standing next to Shizuo.

"Yeah, maybe," Shizuo stood up. "Anyway, I'll head off to go find Izaya, he's probably wondering where I am at this point."

Celty stood up, typing on her phone before showing it to him, [does he not like being left alone for a long time without you there?]

"Yeah, he starts to freak out and has a panic attack or something," he rubbed the back of his neck. He remembered Tom telling him something along those lines that Izaya had freaked out a couple days ago when Shizuo didn't get to him quick enough. It took a long time for Izaya to calm and Shizuo had to take him home after that episode.

"Anyway, I'll try to keep you updated should anything come up, see ya." He waved and walked off while Celty turned and headed towards her bike.

…

Izaya was beginning to fidget as he sat leaning against a wall with his legs bunched up, as if to protect himself from some unknown danger. His eyes would dart around a couple of times, scanning and assessing the surroundings before dropping to the ground once again, he repeated this process every few seconds. Tom noticed that Izaya's gaze would always flick towards the direction Shizuo had disappeared in when someone would walk from that way, but let his gaze drift back down towards the ground, it was almost like he wanted the blonde to appear again so he could stop worrying so much.

But Izaya wasn't in the right mind now. It's been too long since Shizuo had disappeared. Far too long.

Izaya wondered who might have seen him. Thinking that he would be stopped again and taken away like last time. And he knew Tom wouldn't be able to protect him let alone himself should the situation arise.

And that was terrifying him.

He didn't know why, but he felt eyes on him everywhere, like he was being exposed to something he didn't like. He tried to stay calm, tell himself that Shizuo would be here soon and everything was going to be ok.

He knew Tom was there to keep an eye on him and he was fine with that, at least he had someone he knew with him. True he didn't know Tom all that well but he was still someone he knew and could trust, he felt a little better about that fact.

But the nagging feeling just wouldn't leave him.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and an involuntary shiver ran down his spine. His heart beat was rattling against his ribcage and sweat beads began to form on his forehead. Heat encased itself around his body but his skin felt like ice.

 _It's ok_ , he told himself. _It's ok. Shizuo will be here soon. It's ok. It's going to be ok._

But his instincts told him otherwise. A little voice in the back of his mind had told him that he was everything but ok. But he still had to tell himself he was ok. Otherwise he won't last much longer without with this fear.

"Hey Shizuo!" Tom announced, giving a wave and smile.

"Yo," Shizuo replied, walking towards them. He looked down to see that Izaya had bunched himself up again; he'd always do that when Shizuo had taken too long to come back. "Izaya—"

Izaya had launched himself at Shizuo, landing in his arms and burying his face in his chest. He never wanted to let go, not when he still felt eyes watching him. Watching his every movement, every breath, not allowing him to rest.

"You know, you're right Shizuo," Tom stared down at Izaya. "He _has_ grown attached to you."

"Hmm," Shizuo grunted in agreement as he tried to pry Izaya's arms off him. But every time he pulled a hand free, the other would wrap itself around his waist more. "Come on Izaya, now is not the time for this."

Shizuo placed his hands on Izaya's shoulders and his eyes widen, they were trembling badly, but now that he had a good look, Izaya's entire body was shaking. He sighed, guess he was gone longer then he thought.

"Why don't you take him home Shizuo?" Tom suggested. "We're finished for the day anyway."

"You sure?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah, besides, I don't think he'll be in any shape to do anything at the moment." He gestured towards Izaya, who was holding Shizuo even more tightly.

Shizuo gave a nod, knowing Tom was right. He looked down at the quaking raven whose hands had turned white from grasping his shirt so tightly. "Ok, come on Izaya, it's time to go home." He placed his hands on top of Izaya's so he got the message.

Over the past week, shizuo had dropped the nickname of flea for Izaya and instead began to call him by his name. Though Izaya still called him 'Shizu-chan,' Shizuo didn't really mind it that much, though he would prefer to be called by his actual name, it was ok for now.

Izaya had let go of Shizuo's shirt and was about to grip his sleeve but Shizuo was quicker. Instead scooped him up with one hand and carried him in a one-armed bridal style. Though Izaya was surprised by this action and it made his heart flutter like crazy as his head rested against Shizuo's shoulder, it made his shaking stop and he felt a lot safer as he relaxed into the hold.

Shizuo knew that once Izaya was in his arms, he'd calm down a lot faster, as noted when izaya was having nightmares and Shizuo hugged him, and each time Izaya had calmed down quicker and had better dreams.

They both walked home with strangers on the street giving them funny stares, some were questioned looks, most were wondering if the world would be ending, some ignored them but sneaked peeks through side glances. It didn't surprise them one bit since Shizuo kept it under wraps about his new roommate while Izaya was silent and you'd be lucky enough to even see the raven look up to meet the stares.

…..

Dinner wasn't fancy, just instant ramen since Shizuo was running out of ingredients to cook with. For some strange reason, Izaya liked shizuo's cooking better than the instant ramen, he'd almost favour it more when his former self would have taken the ramen any day over Shizuo's cooking, then spout something like the food would be poisoned.

They ate in silence until a phone rang, but it wasn't Shizuo's phone that sounded.

Izaya pulled out his phone from his jacket and wondered who'd be calling him. But then he remembered his position as an info broker and that answered his question since he rarely got calls for other things other than information.

He was reluctant to answer the call as he pulled it out from his pocket. He thought it might be those men who—

His body ran cold from the thought of it.

Slowly, Izaya looked towards Shizuo who was staring at the beeping phone, silently asking permission if he could take the call.

"You can answer it." Shizuo said, going back to eating.

Izaya placed his ramen on the table and walked into the bed room, answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Izaya?" it was Shiki's voice one the other end. "It's about time you picked up. I've been trying to reach you for the past two weeks. Where are you?"

Izaya froze. He didn't want to say where he was right now. It would endanger Shizuo and he didn't want that right now. "um." He paused, thinking of some excuse but found none, so he replaced the answer with a question of his own. "Why?"

"I need you to do a job. It's important since we've lost men because of it." Shiki sounded really annoyed when he said that. But Izaya didn't want to think about it too much.

He stayed silent.

Not hearing anything on the other side, Shiki continued. "An unknown group attacked our syndicate two week ago, they killed a lot of our guys then left. I want you to find out who they are immediately. I'll pay you more than usual."

"Um S-Shiki . . ." Izaya felt nauseous, not liking where this was going. He couldn't take on jobs at this time and with this state of mind. It seemed like hours of silence as he had pondered this and how to explain it to him. Finally, he settled with something. "I can't do that. I'm sorry, but I'm not taking on jobs. Not for a while at least."

Shiki was silent.

He was way too quiet for comfort and it made Izaya little nervous at what he was going to say or how he was going to react. "Alright, tell me when you're ready to take on the job. I'll have our men do a little research into the matter."

"Ok." Izaya felt relieved. He thought that Shiki wouldn't be happy to hear it. Though he did sound a little angry with the his answer. It seemed ok for now at least.

"Alright then, goodbye."

"Yes, goodbye."

Izaya was about to hang up when Shiki stopped him. "Oh and one more thing," Izaya placed the phone back to his ear again. "I hear that there are a lot of people going missing these days. I've noticed that these people seem to be connected to you."

Izaya's eyes widen.

"I just want to warn you to watch you're back ok?" Izaya heard the concern in Shiki's voice.

"Ok." His voice was shaky and he didn't like that. But he was more worried about who is after him. He already knew who. He was more worried that he knew that _they_ weren't after him now, going after the people closest to him as a means of dragging him out unwillingly.

He feared _they_ might know about Shizuo.

After the phone call ended, Izaya came back out, paler then usual and sat down even more silent then what Shizuo was comfortable with.

"You ok?" he asked, a little cautious.

Izaya nodded bleakly.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Shizuo had already finished his. He noticed Izaya wasn't picking up his chop sticks to continue eating.

"Not hungry," Izaya whispered. Shizuo barely heard it.

"No, you need to eat. You're pretty much a beansprout," Shizuo growled.

Izaya sank deeper into his jacket. Shizuo instantly regretted the tone he used; he forgot he had to be careful at what he said and how he said it with Izaya in case anything set him off.

"Sorry," he bowed his head. An awkward silence past through them, leaving Shizuo to scratch the back of his head wondering what to say while Izaya balled himself up again. Sighing, Shizuo looked at him, "hey."

Izaya flinched and raised his head slightly to tell Shizuo he was listening.

"You can tell me you know," Shizuo looked away from Izaya, not really knowing what he could say that will cheer him up. "I mean, it's hard keeping all your emotions bottled up right? So, you can tell me anything, whether your angry, sad, happy, annoying. I'll listen to what you have to say, ok? Trust me, keeping things down like that isn't a good thing. So you can lean on me for those kinds of things."

Shizuo had noticed Izaya staring at him with wide eyes, almost as if he was surprised that Shizuo had mentioned all that.

"Um," Shizuo scratched the back of his head staring upwards; he felt his cheeks heat up as he raked his brain for something else to say. "It's just, I want you to go back to the way you were, being that annoying flea that always get on my nerves. Seeing you like this, hurts me to you know." He looked down with sadden eyes.

Izaya smiled and picked up his ramen, which was going cold. "Thank you, Shizuo."

Shizuo perked up at hearing his actual name slip from Izaya's lips and unconsciously smiled. "So, um yeah. Whatever you say doesn't leave this room. Ok?"

"Ok." Izaya nodded, and happily ate the rest of his dinner, although he couldn't fit all of it in. he still tried since Shizuo kept saying 'one more bite.'

But that night, they both fell asleep happily.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about the late-ish update but I was out of town with no wifi for a couple of days, forgive me.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, they all belong to their respectful owners**

… **.**

"Give back what you fucking borrowed!" Shizuo snapped, gripping the collar of a sleaze that apparently 'forgot' to pay back his loans and lifting him off the ground.

"L-Listen, I don't g-got the m-money, alright! Just let me go!" he said trembling, holding his hands up and wanting to get out of this little predicament.

Tom sighed and Izaya stood beside him watching as Shizuo was about ready to throw the man out the window. It wasn't anything new to him now, Izaya had pretty much gotten used to Shizuo's outbursts of rage during work and had long since dismissed calling him a monster because of it.

"Shizuo, take it easy alright?" Tom tried to reason with him, placing a hand on Shizuo's shoulder that was quickly shrugged off.

"Not until this bastard gives back every last dollar he borrowed!" he growled fiercely, eyes flaring fire.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya tugged at Shizuo's sleeve with wide child-like eyes. In the past week, Izaya has learnt that Shizuo just can't seem to resist his innocent expression. Especially in times like this, which seemed to help Tom out a lot since Shizuo would usually destroy everything and sometimes even break the person they were trying to collect debt from.

"Y-yeah?" Shizuo looked at him, a slight blush spread across his cheeks as he stared.

"Calm down ok? Tom is going to get the money ok?" Izaya began to tug at Shizuo's arm to drag him away from the man while Tom handled the rest. They both made their way down the stairs of the one bedroom apartment.

In the time that Izaya had spent with Shizuo on his jobs, he knew that when Shizuo's anger was piqued, it was best to drag him away from the scene and get some fresh air.

"That better?" Izaya smiled, standing next to him.

"Yeah," even though he'd never admit it out loud to anyone other than himself. Shizuo did like this Izaya a lot better. But some of his cheeky attitude was starting to return such as his teasing. Though Izaya made sure never to step over the line and made sure that what he said wasn't able to piss Shizuo off completely. It was better than nothing, Shizuo had thought. At least he wasn't depressed like before and he was becoming his normal self.

"You get way too cranky at times like this Shizu-chan!" Izaya pouted.

"Sorry," Shizuo bowed his head as Tom came down the stairs with a small bag full of cash. "You get it?" he called.

"Most of it, yeah," Tom nodded. "How about we call it lunch and have a break, you've been working pretty hard."

"Sounds good," Shizuo ashed his cigarette and followed Tom with Izaya walking next to him, no longer clinging to his arm to which he had missed for some strange reason.

…

[Week five and already Izaya is returning back to the way he was?] Celty asked, Shizuo decided to visit since Shinra had called in for a hot pot, and apparently Izaya loves those.

"Yeah, but doesn't over step the line which is nice. He's not as annoying as before either." Shizuo said, standing outside on the balcony with Celty. Izaya was busy helping Shinra with the cooking.

[Don't you ever wonder?] Shizuo looked at the message while Celty paused; she then typed a new message to explain what she meant. [Don't you ever wonder who made Izaya like this?]

Shizuo's gaze turned towards the city in front of him, he watched the dancing lights as night had fallen. He had been wondering who had turned Izaya from a manipulative bastard into a caring innocent child. He exhaled, "I don't know. But if I find them, there dead!" He slammed his face into his open palm, growling.

Celty jumped at the sudden action but didn't turn away. [Well, I've been doing a little digging and I've not come up with anything.]

"I see," he grimaced at the comment. "He's not said a word about it either. And I don't want push him until he's ready to tell me. Otherwise who knows what might happen to him."

[That's true. I'm a little scared to ask him because I know he doesn't trust me completely. So I was wondering if you might ask him, since he trusts you a lot more than us.] Celty said.

"He might say a couple of things about it, but even so it won't be enough to explain it fully. He might trust me more than anyone else, but I know that he doesn't want to mention anything about because of the memories that might come from talking about it."

[You have a point. Now I see why you want him to be the one to say it instead of us getting him to say it.] Celty said.

The sliding glass doors opened suddenly, alerting the two. "Shizu-chan~! Celty~! It's ready!" Izaya beamed.

"Alright, we're coming." Shizuo walked inside followed by Celty who closed the door behind them.

Shinra had already put the large pot on the small table in the living room. Celty made herself comfortable next to him while Shizuo and Izaya sat opposite them.

Shizuo noticed how giddy Izaya was about eating hot pot with just the four of them. It surprised him at how much Izaya loved this sort of dish. He made a mental note about it then focused on what was in front of him.

About half way through the meal, Shinra decided to make conversation.

"So, how is living together?" he wondered.

"It's fine. Nothing knew has happened since the last time you ask." Shizuo answered, placing a sliver of meat into his mouth.

"But it has been fun," Izaya smiled.

"Really?" Shinra wondered. He was curious at how the two former enemies have been getting along since before they couldn't even be in the same town without them killing each other, and now they sat side by side eating and not even a hint of tension was in the room.

"Yep!" Izaya nodded. "Shizu-chan is fun to be around."

Shizuo blinked at the question and gave Izaya a confused look. Since when was he fun to be around? The only thing fun that they've done together was watch a movie together that Izaya had really wanted to watch since he hadn't seen it. And even then it was just sitting on the couch in silence as they watched.

"So, nothing bad has happened between you two? No fighting? No arguing?" Shinra pried, trying to get some answers as to what their lives were like now.

"We do argue from time to time." Izaya's gaze fell to his bowl half full of food. Seeing the sadden look on Izaya's face, to which Shizuo knew he was remembering something bad, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Izaya's mouth since he had juices at the corners from eating since that seemed to distract him from this thoughts.

"Your mouth is dirty." Shizuo explained before resting the cloth in Izaya's lap.

Izaya smiled. "Thanks Shizu-chan." He started eating again.

Shinra blinked at the sudden action. Celty sat just as stunned. Shizuo had noticed this and turned his head to avoid eye contact and explain his actions, then went back to eating.

"I guess things are going better than I expected, right Celty?" Shinra turned towards her.

She nodded.

…..

The following day.

Shizuo had the day off and he decided that the laundry needed doing and the apartment needed a good cleaning. Izaya was helping as well, since he was also living there and he didn't want Shizuo to do everything today.

Izaya was folding the clean clothes and sorting them into different piles while Shizuo was giving the floor a vacuum. "Hey Shizu-chan!" Izaya suddenly spoke up.

"Yeah?" Shizuo replied, turning off the vacuum to listen.

"You said that I can trust you with anything right? And whatever I say doesn't leave this room right?" Shizuo noticed that Izaya stopped folding the laundry. He sensed that Izaya was going to say something heavy and it seemed very important.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" he sat down on the couch, staring at Izaya.

"I know you've been wondering about what happened to me, and how I got this way," he paused.

Hearing the silence drag on for a minute Shizuo turned away. "You don't have to tell me I you don't want to. I don't want you to remember anything unpleasant." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's ok. Besides, I've been thinking about it for a while so it's ok. I know you've been wondering about it," he gave a half-hearted smile followed but a sad laugh. "I know exactly what you've been thinking. Who made me like this? It's obvious you'd want to know since I've become so different."

Shizuo remained silent. He didn't want to push Izaya anymore then what he was pushing himself, Shizuo could tell that Izaya had come to terms with this and he knew that Izaya was definitely out of his comfort zone to be talking about this matter. But silence was all he could offer, it was better than words because he knew he would say the wrong thing and make Izaya shut up about the matter.

"Before my disappearance a while back, I had to do a job which was to gather information about this underground group that had just started and were causing trouble. So I decided to spy on them for a few days just to see what kind of work they did. They mostly specialised in drug trafficking and human auctions and that sort of stuff. I remembered thinking it was bland and that it was no cause for alarm. But I was wrong.

"As it turns out, the drug trafficking and human auctions were just a cover up for what they were doing to their captives, or at least it was one of the lesser crimes that they were committing. After I observed them in their human auctions, I noticed that most of the humans they were selling were girls and that most of them had been ruffed up with heavy bruises and hickey's all over there body."

Shizuo's eyes widen. It was just like when he had first seen Izaya after his disappearance. But he didn't point it out nor say anything for him to continue. He forced himself to stay quiet but he did have a lot of questions about this.

"Anyway, after observing what I needed, I reported back to the one that gave me the job. I had explained everything to him, and he asked me to meet him at a warehouse in the west of Ikebukuro where I'd get my pay. I waited for an hour and was about to call it quits then black mail the guy later for not paying me. but the same guy I was being paid by had attack me along with these other guys to which I recognised were a part of the gang that I was asked to spy on. As it turned out, the guy was part of the gang and it was all a set up to kidnap me. Pretty smart plan huh? I had no clue why they had asked me to do it until the very last second."

Shizuo said nothing.

"They kept me in a small room with no way of escape and barely any food and water. And well," Shizuo noticed Izaya's trembling. He could tell he was struggling with the memory even though he couldn't see his face. It was beginning to hurt Shizuo the way Izaya hurt mentally like that. Before he even realised it, he was already reaching out to pat the raven on the head. "And that's where they—"

A knock at the door sounded, cutting Izaya off and leaving Shizuo's hand to hover over his head.

…

 **Cliff-hanger! Sorry about that, but this is where things are going to get a little more interesting, I will say that there is going to be drama in future chapters and I will continue to explain Izaya's back story with this.**

 **Tell me if there's any OOCness with this story. I hope that I am keeping the characters in their roles and all that stuff.**

 **Please give me a review. It helps me out a lot.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, so this is where things will start getting interesting, I hope. But anyway, thank you to everyone who favourited, followed and reviewed. I love you guys so much and I'm glad that they are in character, I do try to keep them in character as best as I can.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

… **..**

At first, Shizuo had wondered who would be knocking at his door during the afternoon, since he rarely got visitors; it was strange to hear people knocking. He thought that maybe it was Celty come to check in on them or something.

He gave Izaya a glance to which he received a nod, Shizuo stood and walked towards the door while Izaya had curled up behind the couch, making sure he was hidden.

Shizuo pulled the door opened.

"Good evening sir, may I interest you in some of our products?" A man stood before him, smiling brightly with black square framed glassed and matted dark brown hair, obviously combed and he was dressed quite nicely in his black suit and tie. In his hand he held a black brief case to which gave the impression that he wanted to sell something.

"No thanks." Shizuo said quickly and was about to shut the door when the man's foot stopped him.

"Oh but you see sir," the man leaned to the side, his brown eyes looking past Shizuo and into the room, but quickly returning. "I was wondering if you would think about taking out your life insurance with our company. It's very reliable and it won't cost that much per week to have, and signing up is a breeze not to mention completely free."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes; already deciding he didn't like this man who gave a breathy laugh, it sounded almost forced just like his smile.

"So, how about signing up?" The man pulled a pen from the breast pocket of his suit, holding it out to Shizuo and showing off his brief case as if to say that the documents were inside.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested." Shizuo didn't make a move to take the pen nor hear what else he had to say. "Anyway, I'm kind of busy right now. So could you please leave?"

"I see," he seemed dejected, but he still smiled. "Well, goodbye then sir." He bowed, "have a nice day."

Shizuo closed the door when he left. Turning back around, he noticed Izaya was nowhere to be seen. Had he disappeared into a different room not wanting to be seen? Maybe he was still not comfortable with strangers? Maybe that was why he vanished? No, that wouldn't be correct, he had no problem dealing with the clients during work and they were complete strangers.

So why become sky this time?

"Is he gone?" a shaky voice said from the side of the couch, making Shizuo jump from his thoughts to reality.

"Ah, yeah," Shizuo composed himself as saw Izaya slump back down, hidden from view again. "Something wrong?" he sat down on the couch.

Izaya paused, Shizuo noticing that he had balled himself up tighter, bringing his knees to his chest. "That guy. He sounded . . . so familiar to me," he fell silent again.

"How so?" Shizuo asked, already knowing he wasn't going to like what he heard.

"Well, I may remember some of my clients, but only the ones that stand out. But this guy, he sounded familiar to me. I think I remember his voice over a phone call or something. But I know that voice from somewhere unpleasant. And I don't like the feeling I get from him just now." he paused, feeling tears well up in his eyes, his trembling worse than before. "And I sure that if I saw his face. I—" he covered his mouth to not let sobs escape him. "Sorry, I can't—" his voice was muffled, then he buried his face in his knees.

Shizuo waited a bit, not wanting to do anything to sudden in case he might make things worse. But he reached over and placed his hand on top of Izaya's, trying his best to comfort him without hurting him mentally.

Izaya had gasped at the sudden contact, a little shaken. But he reached up and rested both of his hands on top of Shizuo's warmer one, gripping it tightly as he began to cry silent sobs and let his tears stain his cheeks until they were wet and red.

After a minute, Shizuo pulled his hand back and gripped the back of Izaya's shirt, pulling him off the ground and into his lap we're he held him close. Izaya's swollen eyes widen, no matter what this man did, it always surprised him to no end.

"It's ok," Shizuo whispered, soothing Izaya's hair as his grip held him closer. "It's ok. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise."

Without realising or even meaning to, Izaya buried his face in Shizuo's chest and wrapped his arms around his torso, gripping his shirt tightly and sobbing even harder, letting little hiccups slip out from time to time.

Something wasn't right with this picture, Shizuo decided. He knew one thing about this, and that was that he didn't like seeing this man cry like an abused child. His body ran cold at the thought of what had traumatised him. He made a mental note to remember that guy's face so the next time he saw him; he'd make sure to get answers after he beat the crap out of him.

…

Shizuo had gone to Shinra's for a little while, since they wanted updates about Izaya's condition. But it had gotten worse, instead of going back to square one like Shizuo had thought; Izaya's condition stayed relatively the same. Except now he looked completely dead inside, and Shizuo could tell that just by looking in his eyes.

[So you're saying that this guy or whoever he is came over to talk about insurance and after that Izaya started acting this way?] Celty asked when Shizuo had finished explaining Izaya's sullen state who hadn't looked up from his feet since he entered the apartment.

"Yeah," Shizuo nodded. He felt Izaya's grip tighten on his arm when he noticed Shinra staring questioningly at Izaya. "Hey!" Shizuo snapped, gaining Shinra's attention. "Quit staring at him, he doesn't like it."

"Oh sorry," Shinra scratched the back of his head with an apologetic smile. "I didn't mean to."

"Anyway, I remember this guy had brown hair and glasses, kinder like you Shinra," Shizuo sent him a flat expression.

[So, is that why Izaya is a little shaken to be around Shinra?] Celty asked, trying to turn the attention away from the doctor and towards the main problem at hand.

"Yeah, I think that might be what's making him a little more jumpy than usual." Shizuo stated.

"But no fighting right? No new bruises or anything like that?" Shinra asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"No, but if that were the case then I wouldn't let him through the door and he'd be in the hospital already if I found out that he did that to Izaya." Shizuo growled at the obvious question.

"Ah, right." Shinra laughed nervously. "So, anyway, what do you plan on doing with him now? Is it still ok for you to take him to work?"

Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck; he hadn't planned that far ahead. Though it was a good thing he had the day off tomorrow as well. It would have gotten a little out of hand if he were to take Izaya to work with him after today, especially with him looking like this.

"I'll think of something," he stood up, giving a nod to the pair and heading towards the door, Izaya following closely behind as they left.

As soon as the cooling air had hit them both, it made Izaya shiver at the sudden temperature drop since it had been warm inside. "Come on, let's go home." Shizuo lead the way with Izaya right behind him.

The whole way, Shizuo had been wondering what he should do to improve Izaya's mood again. He had no clue. At least not at the current time. And it wasn't like Izaya could bounce back easily; these things did take time. That much he knew already with how Izaya had been coming along with his slow recovery.

Izaya felt a shiver run down his spine.

Eyes.

He felt eyes on him again. Feeling his body over without even touching him. Watching from the night shadows. Those eerie shadows that he didn't trust. Had he been found? Were they watching him now? What would he do if they found him here? What would they do to Shizuo because of it?

He didn't want to think about it.

But those eyes raked over his body again and again. He could feel it as hairs stood on end, a cold sweat appeared on the back of his neck and he was looking over his shoulder at every new noise.

He didn't want to panic. He didn't want to make a scene in this empty place. Not with Shizuo walking in front of him, slowly pulling forward, and away from him.

Shizuo didn't have time to think when he felt arms hook around his neck and legs wrap around his waist. The impact had him on loose footing as he stumbled, wondering who it was that attached themselves to his back suddenly.

When he finally recovered and found his balance again, Shizuo had noticed a dark head of hair resting on his shoulder, trembling ever so slightly. When Shizuo placed a hand on Izaya's arms, he felt Izaya jolt at the touch and he sighed, slipping his hands in his pockets and carried Izaya home.

Whatever he needed to do to make Izaya normal again.

He needed to think of it soon and fast.

… **.**

 **Sorry if it isn't as long as the other chapters. But yeah, that's that.**

 **For some reason, when I write my chapters, I always have a hard time figuring out how to start it off and get to the idea (because every chapter I have has one or two main ideas that make up the whole thing) and then trying to end it in a fitting way that helps the story.**

 **Give a review, it helps me out a lot to make up more chapters and get them out fast. also, if you really want, you can tell me what you think will happen in future chapters, I'm a little curious as to know what you guys think is going to happen.**

 **Also, I'll start going into a little more detail about how Izaya came to be and a little about Izaya's past. But I'll say this now so there's no confusion later:**

' **what I write for Izaya's background will be made up by me, so if there's any trouble about it, tell me' or something along those lines.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	9. Chapter 9

**If my chapters are becoming boring to read, it because I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm sorry for that.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

… **..**

[How about an amusement park?] Celty questioned.

"No, too many people and Izaya would get lost way too easily," Shizuo said.

[The beach?] She suggested.

"No, someone might take him," he growled.

[What about the aquarium?]

"He's scared of fish eyes." He found that out the hard way when Izaya had confessed a little about himself fear factor wise after he freaked out about having fish for dinner.

[A nature walk?] Celty was running out of ideas.

"He hates getting dirty." Shizuo ruffled his hair in annoyance. He wasn't expecting this to be so hard.

[Well, I'm out of ideas] Celty slumped her shoulders.

"Me too," Shizuo sighed, they had been at it for the past hour trying to figure out where to take Izaya to cheer him up. So far everything they had mentioned had failed to meet Shizuo's standards. It was either too loud, too many people or Izaya would get lost. He knew that it would be rare to lose the raven in a crowd but he didn't want to take that chance.

"Anyway," Shizuo scratched the back of his head. "Thanks for coming over and helping, especially this early in the morning."

He had called Celty this morning asking her for help so she came over quite quickly, he wasn't complaining about it since she had been a lot of hep to him in the past. And she was more than happy to help if it meant Izaya would get a little better or at least back to what he was before this happened.

[It's ok] Celty responded. She waited a little, then typed, [How is he?]

Shizuo grimaced. "Not good. He hasn't moved since last night and he hasn't had anything since breakfast yesterday. To be honest, it's pissing me off, this thing with Izaya."

[Is that why you want to make him better?] Celty asked.

Shizuo blinked at the question. Did he want Izaya to get better? In all honesty he would gladly see the flea die in a ditch. But that was before and this is now. this was where Izaya was frail and seemingly mortal. So why did he want Izaya to go back to the way things were? Didn't he admit that he liked this nice Izaya better than the sadistic Izaya to which he loathed?

Then realisation kicked in.

Izaya no longer made him angry, in fact it was the opposite, Shizuo had begun to feel happy when Izaya talked to him, clung to him, be with him. Maybe it was because this Izaya wasn't annoying? Or that he was somehow naïve in this state? Who knows? It felt strange to be close to him, almost impossible to begin with. But at the same time it felt right.

What's going on?

[I know!] Celty tapped his shoulder excitedly, snapping out of his thoughts; Shizuo began to read her message. [Why not ask him?]

"That might work," he looked down. "But he hasn't said a word since we got back. He won't even look at me now."

[Well, give it a try. Who knows right? Maybe you'll get your answer.] Celty stood. [Sorry, but Shinra wanted me back before lunch so if you're going to do something, do it fast. I don't think Izaya can take much more of it.]

"Yeah, your right," Shizuo said, seeing Celty out and watching her leave. After she was out of sight, Shizuo closed his door and slowly made his way towards the bedroom.

The lights were off and the curtains were drawn. Izaya still hadn't moved from his spot in bed. Taking in a deep breath and exhaling, Shizuo sat on his side of the bed, back facing Izaya.

A silence past through them.

Shizuo knew Izaya was awake, he just hadn't moved. But he also knew that his mind was drawing a blank with this situation. "You wanna go somewhere today?" he decided to follow Celty's advice and ask.

Izaya pulled the blankets over his head a little more.

"You can't stay inside all day." Shizuo turned to him. "This might just be the only time we can actually go out without having to do chores on a day off."

Izaya was silent but he shifted in the blankets, "anywhere?"

Shizuo wasn't actually expecting him to say anything. His voice sounded dry, like he had just woken up from sleep. "Yeah, your choice ok? You pick anywhere you want to go."

"But, what about—"

"I won't let them come near you," Shizuo cut him off. "I am your body guard remember, it's my job to protect you. So until you get better, you're stuck with me. Got it?"

Izaya nodded.

Silence.

Shizuo sighed. This was getting annoying.

"…" Izaya had mumbled something Shizuo couldn't quite catch. He turned back to the man, the blankets had moved down to his shoulders, exposing his face.

"I can't hear you when you mumble," Shizuo said.

Izaya blushed, burying his face into the blankets a little. "The zoo."

"The zoo?" Shizuo raise a brow. Why would he want to go to the zoo? That was where you take kids, not adults. Not to mention it'd be weird for the two of them to go to the zoo at _their_ age. But he didn't question it further. If that's where he wanted to go, then they'd go. "Ok, but be ready in twenty minutes then."

"We're going?" Izaya sudden turned to face Shizuo.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"So, will it be like a date?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo replied without thinking of what he really meant. "Yeah, it'll be like a date. So get up and get ready."

"Ok," he smiled.

Shizuo left Izaya to get ready.

Within twenty minutes, Izaya stood in front of Shizuo showered, dressed and ready for the day.

"Let's go." shizuo led the way.

…..

"Look Shizu-chan! It's an elephant!" Izaya beamed, pointing towards the large beast in its enclosure, surrounded by other adults with their children.

"Yeah, it is," Shizuo mustered a smile at Izaya's sudden enthusiasm.

On their way here, Izaya was mopping around from hunger and his skin was clammy and paler then usual. But as soon as they got there, the first thing Shizuo did was buy Izaya something to eat, to which was greatly received. Now, twenty minutes into their 'adventure' as Izaya put it, Izaya was giddy and bouncing around like a child. Shizuo was glad that Izaya was happy. It was a huge improvement from his earlier mood. But now Izaya was back to the way he was before _that_ guy had come to his apartment. But it seemed strange as to why he wanted to visit a place like this. Hadn't he been before?

"Shizu-chan! Let's go see the Rhino's next!" Izaya took his hand and began leading towards another enclosure. That was another thing he had begun doing, holding Shizuo's hand like it was natural. Like a child would do with his mother. It seemed weird that Izaya would do this, especially in public, but Shizuo didn't protest. It was thanks to this that he was about to see just how small Izaya's hands were in his.

"Wow, check out the size of that horn," Shizuo gestured towards the bigger of the two Rhino's.

"Yeah, it's huge!" Izaya held a sly smile. "But Shizu-chan's horn is much bigger."

Shizuo's face went bright red then whipped towards Izaya, "s-shut up about that!" He turned away instantly at Izaya's laughing. Maybe this had worked a little too well, since Izaya was becoming cheekier than usual. Just because Izaya had accidently walked in on Shizuo when he was in the shower, doesn't mean he gets to tease him about it in public were people could hear them.

"Come on Shizu-chan, this way!" Izaya tugged on Shizuo's hand. "Let's go see the tiger's next!"

With a sigh, Shizuo followed. He had only just realised that Izaya hadn't let go of his hand.

"kyah! There so fluffy!" Izaya smiled when they reached the tigers. He seemed to be having way too much fun with this. "Tell me Shizu-chan, what animal best describes you?"

Shizuo looked at him then towards the tigers. "Describes me? I don't know."

Izaya giggled, "a wolf, or to be more precise a dog."

"Huh?" Shizuo scowled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're loyal, and a good companion." He smiled. "And you always obey your master."

Shizuo growled and turned his head. "Well your more like a cat. Lazy and doesn't do anything."

"So mean Shizu-chan." Izaya pouted, but smiled afterwards. "This way!" he ran off down a direction, never releasing Shizuo's hand as he dragged him around.

For most of the time, Izaya had never let go of Shizuo's hand, not once. Izaya had always led the way like a curious child, always asking questions and receiving answers. But he never let go of Shizuo's hand.

It seems like they really are on a date, Shizuo looked down at their hands, fingers interlaced. Then he remembered what Izaya had said this morning about a date. A slight blush appeared on Shizuo's cheeks at the thought. But he shook it off before anyone noticed and focused on Izaya walking beside him who had a smile on his face.

…..

It was late afternoon and many people had left. Shizuo and Izaya had found a bench and sat down, they didn't stop there hand holding. They had gone around to every attraction there was and seen a couple of shows. At one point Izaya had got to hold one of the animals.

"I bet your wondering why I chose this place huh?" he suddenly said.

"A little," Shizuo admitted.

"The answer is simple." He smiled. "When I was a child, I was never able to come here. At my elementary school, a lot of children would talk about going to the zoo and yet I had never been. But when I was able to go, I was too old and people would question why I was there to begin with so I never went."

So that was why he wanted to come. He had never been before. It was simple, so simple it should have been obvious to Shizuo. But he couldn't read people like Izaya could, and that annoyed him.

"Hey." Shizuo stood up, followed by Izaya who held a confused expression. "I'll buy you anything you want ok? I mean, you can't go to the zoo without getting something right?" he flash a smile towards Izaya, whose face lit up.

"Really! Anything I want!" he asked.

"Anything." Shizuo began to lead a giddy Izaya towards the entrance where he spotted a gift shop. There, Izaya picked out a toy plushie, a white tiger.

After buying it, they headed home, their hands still linked.

"Hey Shizu-chan." Izaya said as they neared the apartment.

"Yeah?" Shizuo replied.

"Thank you." he smiled.

That smile seemed innocent, like a smile you'd find on a child. He seemed innocent here. But past dealings had put Shizuo's mind into a spiralling mess at this point. He didn't know what to think when he saw that smile. But this time, he knew it was genuine. So he smiled to.

"No problem."

….

Shizuo laid awake watching Izaya sleep, the white tiger tucked under his arm. Without even realising it, Shizuo had entangled their fingers again. Izaya had done this nearly all day and it felt weird not to.

And now he realised just how small this raven was. How fragile and weak he is compared to Shizuo. It made him wonder what other things Izaya hadn't experienced as a child, what other things he had missed growing up. But he knew one thing.

That he liked seeing Izaya smile.

Neither annoying nor malicious. Just a normal sweet smile. It suited him more and he liked that smile better. At least it didn't annoy him now and it helped calm himself down when he was angry.

Izaya murmured something and shifted closer to Shizuo, nuzzling his chest and squeezing Shizuo hand before he stilled again. Placing a hand on top of Izaya's head, Shizuo smiled, glad to see that the raven was ok again.

…

 **I like writing this chapter, it was cute and fluffy. But it was a pain at the start because I had major writers block. But yeah, I did it. tell me if I'm rushing things along as well because I feel like I am.**

 **Anyway, give me a review of what you think because I like to hear what you guys say.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**hey guys, I was supposed to post this yesterday but I was sick, sorry.**

 **Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed, I'm glad that I'm not rushing things and that you guys like it.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

…

"Seems like we'll be collecting from a pretty bad guy today," Tom said, Shizuo was walking behind him late morning. "He stole 50, 000 yen to pay back all his loans. But he ended up spending all the money at a strip club and casino's. And to make matter's worse, he's a collage teacher."

"So, all I have to do is crush his mouth and that's it?" Shizuo wondered.

Tom glanced at him for a second then turned away, "you seemed to be in a happy mood."

Shizuo hadn't realised that he was smiling most of the morning. "Oh? Well, let's just say that I had a great day off yesterday."

"That's good then." Tom smiled.

Shizuo craned his head back and noticed Izaya was trailing behind again. He saw the expression on Izaya's face, it was calm and seemingly unresponsive like he was deep in thought. Slowing down a little to reach Izaya's pace, Shizuo began walking side-by-side with him.

"Something wrong?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya shook his head slightly and looked up, "oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking about something."

Shizuo's eyes wondered over the smile Izaya gave, examining all his features for any clue of what he was thinking about before. He found none and so dismissed it. "Alright."

….

The day had gone smoothly, though Shizuo did throw a guy out the window and hurtled a door at another guy. But Izaya was there to keep him calm most of the time. It was strange though. To see his former enemy to which he couldn't stand had suddenly become his source of peace.

Why is that?

Shizuo couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was because living together he had suddenly become used to Izaya's presences and Izaya was able to give a logical response to calm his anger. It surprised Shizuo at how well Izaya had managed to calm him down, even Tom was awed by it since he knew first-hand how easily Shizuo would get pissed at the raven before.

"hey Shizu-chan," Izaya suddenly said, he hadn't touched his ootoro since Shizuo finished his dinner a long time ago, which confused him since Izaya loved it, it was strange to see him not eating it.

"Yeah?" Shizuo replied to his question, trying not to think too much into his own thoughts, it usually gave him a headache to try and understand it.

"Is it alright if I go get some of my stuff?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Shizuo give him a funny look. "Why?"

"Well," Izaya stared at the ground, bunching up his shoulders and scratching the back of his head with a slight blush. "I kind of feel bad for you because you're doing all the work and getting paid while I'm just free loading here, and I know it's hard to provide for two people in your case. So I thought it'd be easier on you if I did a little work and earn a little money to help out."

Shizuo sighed. "It's ok, I don't mind working hard."

"But—" his head shot up, but was quickly cut short when Shizuo held up his hand.

"but if you want to then it's fine." Shizuo added. "So long as there's no scheming involved, got it?"

Izaya nodded.

"Good, we'll go tomorrow since we only have a half day," Shizuo said.

"Ok," he smiled and began eating.

…..

Shizuo knew where Izaya's apartment was, but he never really took the time to look inside and actually scope out the place.

It was huge and lavished with highly expensive furniture such as a wide screen TV, a large living room with black leather couches, a large kitchen, a second story which he presumed led to the bedroom and bathroom. There were other door that led to others rooms, or which he thought led to other rooms, but he had no clue what lay behind them, and he really didn't want to know what was behind them anyway.

The place itself was neat and tidy, but since Izaya hasn't been here in a while, everything was covered in a thin layer of dust. Shizuo still couldn't believe that he owned this place on the top floor.

"Shizu-chan! Can you give me a hand?" Izaya called from his desk, he was packing away his computer into a box when he noticed Shizuo walking around.

Shizuo turned towards him and sighed. "Yeah, I'm coming."

After packing away the computer and Izaya storing all ten of his phones into his fur trimmed jacket, he decided to go pack a bag full of his own clothes since he asked Shizuo to buy clothing, and it was usually the expensive kind to which he had felt a little guilty about.

An hour later and Izaya came down the stairs, a black duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He had noticed Shizuo looking through his book case of files to which Namie had sorted. Shizuo had opened up one of the files and began flicking through it.

"You ready to leave yet?" Izaya asked, standing beside him and looking at what file he was reading.

"Yeah, sorry," Shizuo instantly closed it and placed it back on the shelf. "Is that all your taking?"

"Yeah," Izaya nodded. "Let's go."

The walk back had been long, but it wasn't so bad. Though people had stopped staring and instead just glanced at them for a few seconds. As they neared Shizuo's apartment, a voice had called out to them, making them stop.

"Yo Shizuo!"

Shizuo turned around as Izaya did to the source and saw Kadota walking towards them. "Hmm, hey Kyohei," Shizuo greeted.

"What's with the box?" Kadota eyed the large box in Shizuo's arms.

"Oh, Izaya wanted to get a few things from his place and bring them over." Shizuo answered simply.

"Ah, I see." Kadota nodded. "So, how are things between you two?"

"Not bad." Shizuo shrugged. "We don't fight anymore which is good I guess."

"Seriously?" Kadota seemed surprised, though he was grateful that they don't fight anymore. It meant that the city was a little bit quieter. But it was so unusual to hear that they don't fight anymore. "Not even arguing?"

"Nope," Shizuo said, "Izaya is actually pretty passive now."

"Well I'm glad to hear that." Kadota smiled. "Try not to get into trouble then. Later." He waved and headed down the street.

"Yeah, see ya." Shizuo then turned back to Izaya who had been waiting patiently for them to continue walking again. He was looking at Shizuo, though it was more like staring then looking.

"Let's go." Izaya turned back and marched down the street with Shizuo following. He didn't ask why, it seemed like it was better not to ask him why he was staring.

When they reach home, Izaya told Shizuo to place the box on the desk in the corner while he went about reading old messages on his phones and going through his call history to see what news he had missed.

After another hour, the computer was set up and running, Shizuo had been looking over Izaya's shoulder to see what exactly he did and how he did it. It was interesting at first. But then Izaya's stomach growled and Shizuo smiled, it was around sun set by that time anyway and they hadn't had anything since lunch.

"I'll start on dinner, any recommendations?" Shizuo called as he washed his hands.

"Anything!" Izaya replied, going straight to work.

…

It was late at mid-night when Izaya had climbed into bed, waking Shizuo from his sleep. "Tried," Izaya murmured when he curled up to Shizuo.

"Finished?" Shizuo whispered.

"Yeah," Izaya sighed. "Is it alright if I stay home tomorrow?"

Shizuo paused. What if that man came back again and he wasn't there to protect Izaya? What if he had a panic attack again and he wasn't there to help him? What if he didn't eat? Will he be alright by himself for hours? "You sure you'll be ok?"

Izaya nodded. "I'll lock the door and won't go outside." He sighed, "after all. I can't let you do all the work. I live here to, so we should share the burdened when it comes to money . . ." he trailed off.

Shizuo blushed slightly and wrapped an arm around Izaya, bringing him in close. "Thanks." he rested his chin on top of Izaya's head as he drifted off again.

…

 **I'm glad that I'm doing a good job at a love story, considering I have literally no love experience at all! And I'm happy to see all the reviews I'm getting, it makes me happy that you guys are enjoying this story so far.**

 **I love it when you guys review.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm ok now guys! I'm not longer sick. I'm happy to what you guys are putting in the reviews as well.**

 **Warning:** __yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

… **.**

"And how may I help you today Shiki?" Izaya smiled, he was working at his desk since Shizuo had left ages ago.

"Remember that job I wanted you to do?" Shiki's voice came though the phone.

"Ah yes, that one where you asked me to find out who that mystery gang that attack the Awakusu right? It shouldn't be too hard." Izaya had already begun typing.

"That's good. I'll pay you in full once it's completed." He hung up and Izaya sat the phone down.

He was a little nervous about being left alone in this apartment. It was quiet, so quiet he could even hear his heartbeat. He didn't like it, not one bit. This feeling, it felt empty.

"It's lonely without Shizu-chan," he whispered. He hadn't realised he said it until it slipped out. It caught him off guard as he stared at his computer screen. Sighing, he stood up; he couldn't concentrate on work like this and went to the bedroom.

The curtains were open, but this room was also quiet. He frowned and slipped under the covers, propping himself up against the head board.

 _It's cold._

It's cold without Shizu-chan, Izaya looked down at the pillow Shizuo uses of a night and grabbed it, bringing it to his chest and breathing in the scent. Suddenly, a burst of warmth engulfs him and he smiles, burying his face deeper into the pillow.

I miss Shizu-chan, he thought, a saddened look on his face. But then surprise hit him hard. "I miss Shizu-chan?" he whispered. "Why?" he began to tremble with confusion, hugging the pillow in his arms a little tighter. "Why do I miss him?"

 _It's lonely._

 _It's cold._

 _I miss Shizu-chan . . ._

"I miss Shizu-chan." He said a little louder. "I want Shizu-chan to come home. I want Shizu-chan." Tears began streaming. He placed a hand over his mouth to hide the gasp that escaped, finally understanding why he was saying these things. Why he had wanted Shizuo near him. Why he wanted Shizuo to protect him.

"I love shizu-chan."

…

Shizuo's foot tapped as he waited for Tom to collect the debt from another low-life. He breathed out a cloud of smoke from his fifth cigarette that day and it wasn't even lunch yet. And forget getting angry, Shizuo was way too pre-occupied with his own thoughts to get angry.

Tom knew Shizuo was stressing about leaving Izaya behind at his house, alone. It was evident as he noticed Shizuo's impatient behaviour: the foot tapping, inhaling cigarettes one after another to remain calm, eyes focusing on things no more than five seconds at a time.

It was strange to see him act this way, and even stranger to see it was about Izaya.

Shizuo sighed, stomping his finish cigarette on the ground. He made sure that _that_ guy didn't come and take Izaya away; he had called Celty as soon as he left his apartment this morning to make sure no one enters the apartment, so she was protecting Izaya in his place which she agreed fully.

Though it did help settle Shizuo's stomach, it didn't completely settle his mind.

Would Izaya be ok? Will he eat? Will he get lonely? What if he gets a strange phone call? What if Celty can't defend him if that guy brought more people with him?

Questions like this ran through his mind, and he didn't like it.

"Hey calm down ok," Tom placed a hand on Shizuo's shoulder after he collected the debt money. "I'm sure he's fine."

"I don't know, he's not good on his own at the moment," Shizuo ran a hand through his hair. "And I do have Celty protecting the place, but I just have this feeling that something back is going to happen."

"Well, if she's protecting the place, then he won't be alone and he'll be fine." He reasoned.

"But he doesn't know I did that. Dammit!" Shizuo growled. He wanted the day to be over already. He couldn't take this worry any longer.

Sure if it had been back when Izaya was the flea, he wouldn't have cared. But this Izaya is frail, Shizuo knew that much already. He's weak of mind but strong in body, which meant that if something happened to Celty, Izaya couldn't exactly protect himself because he'd panic before he could defend. And that was what was worrying Shizuo right now.

But without the raven by his side, he did feel a little lonely. But he couldn't imagine how lonely it must be for Izaya right now. He must be scared, cold and lonely . . .

Shizuo shook his head; he needed to focus on his job right now. But how can he when he knew Izaya was home alone with no one to talk to. Of course he had his job to deal with and that must be exhausting itself. But would he be ok?

"Focus dammit!" Shizuo growled, ruffled his hard hap-hazardly.

"I think we should take a break for lunch?" Tom wondered, seeing Shizuo's flustered state. "That way you can go and check on him?"

"You sure?" Shizuo faced him.

"Yeah, you keep beating yourself up over this, your starting to get bags under your eyes." Tom pointed out.

He will admit that he didn't get much sleep last night, to busy focusing on what might happen to Izaya the following day so he probably only got around one or two hours of sleep at most.

"Ok," Shizuo nodded, and headed down the street. "See ya."

"Don't over work yourself ok?" Tom called back.

…

"Izaya?" Shizuo's sounded.

Izaya woke with a start, not realising he had dozed off. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, he got to his feet, taking Shizuo's pillow with him. "Welcome back Shizu-chan," he yawned, coming into the living room.

Shizuo smiled slightly, seeing that Izaya was still here and doing fine. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work still?" Izaya stood in front of him.

"Lunch break," Shizuo answered.

"Oh," Izaya smiled. But his stomach suddenly growled, as did Shizuo's.

"Anything you want to eat?" Shizuo asked.

"You pick." he waved off as Shizuo headed towards the kitchen.

Izaya watched as Shizuo began sorting through cupboards, he tried to calm his beating heart as he stared at the blonde but it didn't work. Did he really like Shizuo that much? As he was spacing out, he felt the space beside him sink and he fell onto a harden surface.

"You ok?" Shizuo had sat next to him and Izaya had crashed into his shoulder. He felt his cheek heat up looking into Shizuo's brown eyes.

"Yeah, sorry," he straightened up and noticed a cup of instant ramen in front of him. "Thank you for the food." He began eating.

Silence.

Shizuo glanced at Izaya from the corner of his eyes as he ate, the blush Izaya had was a light shade of pink. He smiled, the blush was actually very cute on him.

He mentally slapped himself for thinking something like that. They were both guys for crying out loud! Not wanting to focus too much on it, he distracted himself.

"So, you do anything today?" Shizuo asked.

"No really," Izaya curled deeper in his small ball while eating. "I fell asleep not all that long ago."

"Yeah, I noticed." Shizuo Izaya's bed head and looked down at the pillow Izaya had been holding which was now lying in between them. It was a cream colour. "Why do you have my pillow?"

Izaya's blush deepened to red when Shizuo pointed out, he hadn't even realised that it was his pillow until he pointed it out. Shit. This was bad. "W-w-what do you mean?" he blurted.

Shizuo held up the pillow sitting beside him. "My pillow is cream coloured, yours is white."

Izaya avoided his stare, "must have grabbed the wrong pillow?" he lied.

Shizuo rolled his eyes and placed the pillow back down again. He turned back to his nearly empty ramen cup and finished off the rest. Izaya sighed in relief as Shizuo bought his lie, he'd have a hard time explaining if he didn't.

Thirty minutes later and Shizuo had to leave again.

"You gonna be ok on your own for a couple more hours?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah," Izaya nodded.

"You're sure?" Shizuo examined the raven's features, making sure he was telling the truth.

"I'm fine." Izaya sighed. But Shizuo didn't like the frown that he had, he felt his chest grow tight when he saw it. it didn't suit him at all.

"Alright, lock the door ok?" Shizuo turned to leave, "see ya." Shizuo frowned at Izaya sudden confidence; he had almost missed the way he clung to him. But with a sigh, he heard the door lock and he moved on.

Izaya slid down the door, tears already streaming. His chest ached and he felt weak again. He didn't like this, being separated from him. He didn't like this. This feeling was unnatural to him. He had always felt love for humans, loving each and every one of them equally. But loving only one person, wanting to be with that one person, always thinking of that one person.

This feeling was foreign to him.

"I really am in love with shizu-chan." He buried his face into his arms. He didn't know whether to be happy or sad. But this feeling brought back a bad memory

He remembered back to when he was a child, back to when he was in love with another person, a boy a year older then he was. They had become good friends and they were slowly becoming a little more than just friends. He remembered how his heart would beat uncontrollably whenever he saw the boy or heard him speak, he remembered how his cheeks felt hot and how he loved to talk and play with him.

But that memory wasn't all good. Not when _he_ found out. It didn't take him long to find out who Izaya's childhood love was and take action.

And right in front of Izaya, the man killed the boy saying: _"if you ever love a single person. Make it me and no one else. Because if I catch you with someone else, I'll kill them. So instead, settle for the entire human race, love all of humanity. That way you love everyone yet no one."_

Izaya wondered what that man must be doing at the moment. He wondered what he must think when he finds out that Izaya has feelings for a certain man that is not him. And he wondered what he might do to Shizuo once he found out.

He quickly shook the thought from his head. He shouldn't be thinking about that now. But the aching in his heart wouldn't leave him as he buried his head in his arms. "I want Shizu-chan to come home already."

…

Shizuo grumbled to himself, his chest felt tight ever since he left his apartment and he didn't know why. His mind was filled with Izaya and he didn't know why. And not knowing why just pissed him off because he didn't understand it. Which pissed him off even more because he didn't understand any of it.

Tom wasn't really complaining, since the people they visited for debt collection forked over the money instantly when they laid eyes on Shizuo's state. Although, the aura from Shizuo was so fierce he thought he saw sparks fly.

"Maybe you should calm down a bit?" Tom suggested.

"I am calm!" Shizuo growled, marching with his hands stuffed his in pockets and a lit cigarette in his mouth, eyes glaring at the ground. People stepped as far away from him as possible as he made his way down the streets.

"Maybe you should take the rest of the day off?" Tom placed his hand on Shizuo's shoulder, stopping him.

Shizuo looked at him, waiting to hear an explanation as why he needed the rest of the day off.

"Well, you're a little strange today. So go home and get some rest. I think you need it."

"Ok." Shizuo nodded and headed back down the street. Was he really acting strange? Well his mood was shifting back and forth between different emotions all day, and his chest was still pretty tight to which he still didn't know why.

But the moment he reached home and stepped inside, all those strange feelings went away. He suddenly felt at ease. "Welcome back Shizu-chan." Izaya flashed a smile that made his heart beat quicken.

"I'm home." Shizuo muttered and headed towards the bedroom to change.

"Shinra called to see if everything was alright." Izaya said as Shizuo came back out in a white T-shirt and sweat pants.

"Oh yeah?" Shizuo headed into the kitchen towards the fridge, grabbing a bottle of milk.

Izaya paused his work to look up at Shizuo, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah," he nodded, but didn't turn towards Izaya when he spoke.

Sighing Izaya stood, walking towards Shizuo. "You're lying."

"Am not," he retorted.

"Are to and you know it." Izaya huffed.

"I'm not lying, nothing is wrong."

"Then face me when you say it."

Shizuo stiffened. Izaya could tell when he was lying? How? He's never lied in front of him before. Well, he did stretch the truth here and there but never to him.

"Well, I'm waiting?" Izaya folded his arms and frowned.

Shizuo really didn't want to look him in the eyes, he knew his heart would be faster, but why he didn't know. But he followed the ravens request and turned around, closing his eyes so he didn't see him. "I'm not lying. Nothing is going on with me at the moment."

"Now was that so hard?" Izaya smiled, giving a small giggle. Shizuo accidently opened his eyes at the comment, but the moment he looked at that smile, his heart instantly began to beat faster.

"So yeah, I think I'll go to bed early today, night." Shizuo suddenly marched towards the bedroom, eyes to the ground.

Izaya blinked as he watched Shizuo disappear into the room. He could have sworn that Shizuo was blushing. But that must have been his mind playing tricks on him, right?

He shook his head and slapped his cheeks. This was no time to be thinking about such things. Shizuo didn't like him, not in that way of course. That thought hurt as he hung his head. Of course Shizuo didn't like him, why should he?

Snapping himself out of it, he walked back towards his computer and began to focus on work again.

Shizuo on the other hand couldn't think of anything but Izaya. He didn't know why but he felt heat instantly pool in the pit of his stomach and when he thought about it, he felt his pants grew tight.

Without even meaning to, Shizuo reached over and pulled Izaya's white pillow towards his face, hugging it. He breathed in the sweet scent that made his cheek heat up and his pants grow tight.

What is this feeling?

…

 **I had serious writers block with this chapter, mainly because I didn't feel like writing and all that and my grandfather died and yeah. but I made the chapter a little longer which is a plus I guess?**

 **Please leave a review of what you think, they always make me happy and thank you to everyone who did review.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	12. Chapter 12

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN! –ish. I'm back with another chapter. I've doing a lot better now and I hope you guys like this chapter because here's where things get interesting.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

… **..**

"So the usual?" Shizuo asked through the phone.

"Yes please," Izaya nodded.

"Alright, I'll be home in thirty minutes." He said.

"Ok," a smile formed on Izaya lips hearing him say that.

"See ya," Shizuo said.

"Bye." they both hung up.

It's been a week since they've started working separately. Though Shizuo still calls Celty in to protect Izaya every day, it didn't take long for Izaya to catch on with that. He began letting Celty inside, mainly because he felt a little better when someone was with him, even though it wasn't Shizuo.

Shizuo had also gotten used to working without Izaya, but there were many times when Shizuo would start to worry to the point of tell Tom he needed to go home and check. But in the last few days, it seemed like things were getting better. Now Shizuo only needed to call to see if everything was ok.

They have a set plan now as well, Shizuo buys food and Izaya pays rent. Since there was now two people living in Shizuo's apartment, the landlady only raised the rent a few yen, to which Izaya was happy to pay.

Izaya giggled as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.

Celty gave him a questioning look before standing and walking towards him. [Is everything ok?]

He looked at the message and smiled bigger, "Shizu-chan will be home soon."

[Oh I get it,] she typed. [Your happy Shizuo's coming back.]

He nodded. "This is the longest he's been out; I was beginning to get worried. But he just called me saying that he'll be picking up dinner from Russia sushi." He smiled.

Celty stared at him for a long while, now this is a side she's not seen before. The cute cherub like smile, the slightly blushing pink cheeks, the longing look in his eyes. Everything seemed genuine. He really did look like a blushing school girl in lov—

Celty froze. Now that she thought about it, every time she saw Izaya without Shizuo, he seemed totally out of it, like he was always waiting for someone to return. But when Izaya was with Shizuo, it was another story all together. He'd smile, laugh, cling to his arm, blush pink whenever Shizuo would look him in the eye.

Trembling at the realisation, she hurriedly typed a message to which Izaya gave a curious look. She then shoved her message into his face, [don't tell me you're in love with Shizuo!]

Izaya's eyes widen, she'd caught on way to fast. the message had him off guard, to which he quickly became expressionless. What if _he_ noticed just as fast as she did? Those rapist? His sisters? Shizuo? What if they all noticed? What if it was obvious?

Seeing Izaya's slight discomfort written on his face, Celty panicked. [Don't worry, I only just noticed. If it is true, I'm not going to tell anybody. Besides, it took me a while to figure it out.]

Izaya bowed his head, "is it obvious?" he asked quietly, almost a whisper.

[No! I honestly didn't figure it out until just now, and in truth I was only guessing, in fact I was hoping it wasn't true because the expression on your face was to child-like I thought it had something to do with something else.]

Izaya read the message, "so it was just a hunch then?" he settled down a little. Of course it made sense now, with his personality that expression could mean anything, love being the least likely. Breathing a sigh of relief, he relaxed. "Promise you won't tell anyone."

[I promise] Celty placed a hand over her heart to get her message across.

"Thank you," he smiled sadly, then gave a forced laugh. "I bet you think I'm weird now huh?"

[You're saying your weird when you're talking to a Dullahan who's married to a crazy doctor?]

Izaya muffled a laugh. "Ok, you win." He waved off. "Thank you though."

[It's my pleasure.] Even though she didn't have a head, he knew she was smiling underneath that helmet. And it made him smile, just a little, but it was a smile.

The front door handle jiggled before opening, Celty formed a shadow scythe and stood in front of Izaya, she hadn't forgotten her job as Shizuo's stand in guard while he was out.

Why was the door opening? Did he forget to lock the door? No way, he always remembered, it was like second nature that Izaya locked the door when Shizuo wasn't at home.

"Why is the front door unlocked?" Shizuo entered, he looked up to see Celty holding a scythe and Izaya hiding himself behind her. They each relaxed seeing it was just Shizuo.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya ran out from behind Celty and towards Shizuo, who held a box with Russia sushi's logo on it. "Welcome back."

Shizuo smiled, ruffling Izaya's hair. "I'm back."

Celty noticed Izaya's blush deepen to red, she also noticed Shizuo's loving expression when he gazed at him. Looking at the two of them now, you'd never guess that they were pure enemies once. It was somehow refreshing to look at. The scythe in her hands disappeared into shadows and seeped back into her body.

"Hey Celty, can I talk to you outside?" Shizuo asked.

[Sure] she showed him, the glanced down at Izaya.

"I'll be fine." He took the box form Shizuo's hand, "I'll set up dinner."

"Alright," Shizuo said, "I'll be outside ok?"

"'Kay!" Izaya headed towards the kitchen while Celty followed Shizuo outside onto the street where her bike was.

"Thanks for looking after Izaya; I know you must be hard though, between working here and going on jobs and stuff." Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck.

[Don't worry about it. I'd said that I'd help in any way possible, didn't I?] Celty said.

That made Shizuo smile. "Thanks."

Just as Celty was about to head off, footsteps approached. From the shadows of the street lamps, they saw six, no seven men fully dressed in black, from head to toe. They carried metal bats, sticks of wooden planks, and lead pipes. They snickered.

"Shizuo heiwajima!" one of them announced. "Your ass is mine!"

He charged, only to get a fist smashed into his face. "Sorry, reflex." He sneered at the man on the ground. "Celty, why don't you go, I'll take care of this."

[You sure?] She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, this won't take long at all." He smirked, cracking his knuckles and walking towards the gang.

But Celty didn't leave; she wanted to make sure he was fine. But it wasn't just him. She wanted to make sure Izaya was fine as well.

One charged followed by another, lashing out with wooden sticks while Shizuo dodged, landing his fist into each of them, sending them flying through the air. Then the others ran at him.

One swung a lead pipe to which Shizuo dodged, twisted around and slammed his fist into his face, sending him flying into a lamp post. Another ran at him from behind, Shizuo ducked, whipped around and slammed his fist into his chest, sending him through a fence.

Two others now, from the side. Shizuo leapt out of the way at they clashed bats, and with one kick, they flew through the air, smashing into the road with a loud _thump._

"Shit!" The leader, or what he presumed he was, stumbled to his feet, "we'll be back for you. Let's get out of here guys."

They each limped and hobbled out of view and back into the darkness.

Celty was at Shizuo's side instantly. [Are you ok?]

"Yeah," he ran a hand through his hair. It wasn't uncommon for people to challenge him, but at this time of night and at this place, it wasn't right. A sudden feeling hit him that this wasn't right.

Hearing a creaking sound, he looked towards the noise to see his door swung wide open. Maybe Izaya saw the whole thing and forgot to close the door? Gulping, he made his way towards the door, Celty following. But as soon as he stepped through, hoping it was just nothing, that his imagination was playing tricks on his mind.

It wasn't his imagination.

His eyes widen at the sight before him, the place was a total mess, the table had been flipped, papers and utensils scattered about the floor, in the kitchen the sushi lay spilt on the ground. "Izaya?" he went to the bedroom.

Celty looked around for any trace of Izaya, but she knew what happened. It was plain to see.

Then Shizuo came back towards the living room. He seemed pale, Celty could see the worry written on his face, but he balled up his fists. "Dammit! They set me up those bastards!"

Celty looked down, thinking for a second, then she understood. Those guys were the decoy behind the real goal to take Izaya.

….

"Get his pants off, the boss is coming."

"Aw, we don't get first go?"

"No way, the boss made it clear that he got first crack."

"That sucks."

Izaya heard the voices before he opened his eyes. His head was pounding like a jackhammer; he couldn't quite feel his body yet. Where was he? Who was talking? It hurt to think as he winced. Then he felt a chill hit his legs and rear.

And that's when his eyes opened.

Looking up, he saw them. The black demons from his nightmares long since passed. He thought that maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he just collapsed suddenly at Shizuo's house and now he was revisiting the past?

"Oh look, he's awake." One smirked.

"Just in time to, the boss is here." another said, folding his pants and underwear over his arm.

But this wasn't a dream, and he didn't collapse at Shizuo's apartment. And he knew exactly who these people were.

Suddenly, a gag was tied around his mouth and he was thrown over someone's shoulder, they carried him to a large bed in the corner. Knowing his situation, he waited until they threw him on the bed since his hands weren't cuffed and his legs weren't tided together. He waited . . .

As soon as his body hit the mattress, he bolted off the bed and towards the door. Only to slam into a large chest, he fell backwards. "A little eager I see."

Izaya froze at the voice, it was him. The man whose voice he recognised that came to Shizuo's house. He was the boss?

The boss gripped his arm and began dragging him to the bed, he threw Izaya onto it and climbed over him, taking off his glasses and setting them on the bedside table. "Leave me." he ordered. No one protested as the command was given and they left.

Izaya struggled to get away, but his wrists were pinned above his head and the man above him had sat on his legs, preventing any escape. Panic shot through his body as the need for escape intensified.

 _Where's Shizu-chan?_

A hand slipped under his shirt and moved upwards, exposing his chest. Fingers began playing with his nipples. Pinching and pulling, Izaya whimpered at the pain and winced.

 _I want Shizu-chan . . ._

He was suddenly flipped onto his stomach, his hips lifted in the air. He tried clawing at the bed, sheets and pillows, anything to escape from this. But the man above him grabbed his wrists and pulled them behind him.

 _I need Shizu-chan . . ._

Pain shocked his body as something entered him; Izaya opened his mouth in a silent scream, tears already falling down his cheeks. The bed creaked as this man thrusted into him without mercy.

 _Please save me, Shizu-chan . . ._

Then something touched his own member, slowly stroking it. Izaya shuddered at the feeling as the pain began getting worse with each thrust, getting more and more violent with every second.

 _It hurts. Save me Shizu-chan . . ._

Grunts and pants were spreading throughout the room, but they weren't Izaya's. They were coming from this man. This horribly disgusting man. All Izaya was doing was trying not to scream out in pain as it became more and more difficult to keep conscious.

 _It hurts so much. Help me Shizu-chan . . ._

The man then flipped Izaya over again, pinning his arms above his head and slamming into him without a care. The man's other hands begun groping and grabbing at his flesh so hard it was already leaving bruises. Then that hand trailed up to Izaya's neck when he felt Izaya trying to pull away. He squeezed.

 _Can't breathe. Shizu-chan . . ._

With his final thrust, the man came inside Izaya, which he let out a loud moan as he filled the raven up. Izaya shuddered at the feeling, tears still streaming, he had his head turned away. He didn't want to look at this man as he pulled out of him.

"I'll give you ten minutes, then my boys are gonna come in." he heard the man say as he picked up his glasses. "Don't worry; they won't be as wild as I was. Because they are worse than I am. I just hope they don't break you."

Izaya's eyes widen and he buried his face into the pillow, he wanted to disappear, to not exist anymore. Not here. Not ever. Shizuo wasn't here to save him like he hoped. This was hell again. And this hell is what he couldn't escape.

He heard the man leave and close the door, locking it. But it wasn't like Izaya could move. His legs felt numb and he couldn't feel them. His torso was riddled with light bruises and there was a sharp sting in his neck from being choked. If he was this rough, what will the others do?

The door creaked open again, ten minutes was up as eight men entered the small little room with nothing but a bed and night stand inside.

"Well now, let's have some fun," they smirked down at him, "Orihara."

…

Shizuo couldn't think straight as he stood on the balcony of Shinra's apartment, already on his fifth cigarette since he stepped out.

After finding out that Izaya had been kidnapped. Celty instantly took Shizuo to Shinra's to try to figure something out. An hour after and they couldn't come up with anything to help. And they could tell Shizuo wasn't happy about that because he was restless, taking in cigarette after cigarette to try and calm himself down but that wasn't working and they could see it.

[He's been out there for a while now] Celty noted as she looked towards Shizuo outside.

"Can you blame him?" Shinra wondered, sitting next to her. "He's the one who was protecting Izaya so of course he's going to be a little upset about it."

[I guess that's true. But still, those guys came out of nowhere and attacked Shizuo just so they could get to Izaya.]

"It does seem strange." Shinra placed a finger to his chin in thought. "They came up with such a plan to distract Shizuo from Izaya. And since Shizuo usually gets into fights with gangs, it didn't seem obvious as to what they were doing. and the distraction lasted long enough to keep shizuo busy so they could take Izaya away. but why would they want Izaya?"

[Maybe it has something to do with Izaya's disappearance a while back?]

"Yeah, maybe," Shinra looked to Shizuo. "How about we sleep on this. Then we'll start searching for him tomorrow ok? That way we have a better chance of finding him and we'll be rested enough? Not to mention we'll have a lot of time to ask about it."

[Yeah, that sounds good]

Shizuo looked down at the city lights that flickered. There wasn't any stink in the air tonight, which meant that there was no trace of Izaya anywhere. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. He was annoyed and angry, mostly at himself then those kidnappers because he wasn't able to protect Izaya when he needed him the most.

"Dammit!" he couldn't stop his worry about the subject. "Where are you Izaya?"

…

 **Ok, I will not lie that when I was writing the rape scene, I almost teared up a little. ALMOST. But yeah, sorry about the late-ish update, internets not playing fair and keeps cutting in and out all the time.**

 **Leave a review of what you think, I do love it when you guys review this story.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Finally finished my exams! And I had to go to a funeral** **Anyway, on with the story**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners**

…

The bed creaked loudly as they thrusted into him. Izaya had his arms behind him, wrists cuffed. His mouth hurt from the cock in it thrusting in and out without restraint, but not as much as his ass which had two which were aimed uneven and going all over the place.

"Fuck!" the one in front of him came in his mouth, filling it and letting some spill, going down the sides of his mouth.

He pulled out and sat on the bed while the other two finished up. "Well, not bad for a morning fuck huh?" they pulled out after coming at different times and off the bed, wiping off any access liquids and buckling up there pants, they headed towards the door, murmuring in agreement.

Izaya laid there, unable to shed tears anymore. He'd given up on tears; they weren't going to get him out of this mess. His eyes seemed dead and his skin was a great deal paler then before. More sickly black bruises had appeared on his body, if he so much as moved, they'd spaz and send rockets of pain shooting up his body, he couldn't even walk now, not like he had the chance to walk around when there's nothing in the room.

It was the eighth time that those men had violated him. Each time it would be two or three of them. Once it was four. But if it was their boss, it was just him and it would last for an hour. but each time it just got worse and worse. He barely got any sleep last night from it.

Rolling onto his side, Izaya felt a heavy wave of sleep approach, but he didn't close his eyes. He'd given up on the idea of Shizuo coming to save him, he knew it was foolish to believe in such things. He managed to escape on his own without any help but that was only because there was an opening he took advantage of. He was sure that it won't happen again.

He wanted to cry, he so desperately wanted to cry. But it was so ironic that he couldn't. So instead he cuddled in closer to the bed to try and sleep, but he felt the chill of semen run down his ass and legs. The gross feeling of disgust filled him now, this is what he had become, some tool to play with and good for a quick lay.

Disgusting . . .

Hideous . . .

Rotten . . .

Used tool . . .

It hurt to think about it. jumbled words began to fill his mind until he barely registered where he was. he felt light headed as the world's began to sink in deeper through the walls of his mind and into the brighter parts, darkening them with a sick hatred from himself. His head began to hurt with the words. So trying not to think too much about it, he curled up into a ball.

They hadn't uncuffed him, this was probably a measure to make sure he stayed put. If he were to use his hands, it'd be easier for him to escape. They had gotten wiser. They even locked the door when no one else was in here part from him. they didn't do that last time he was in here, chained to the bed.

Still, he wanted Shizuo to come to his rescue, there was still a sliver of hope that Shizuo was looking for him. But right now, if anyone came in to save him, he'd take it. it was better than nothing.

Then he drifted into a senseless sleep.

…..

Shizuo had taken the day off to go searching, when he explained it to Tom, he understood and dismissed Shizuo.

Right now, he was on the back of Celty's motorbike to which sped down the streets towards the shady places that they both thought the gang would be to no avail. The more time they wasted, the more Shizuo became worried that something might have happened. And whatever it was wasn't good.

Eyes darted everywhere, searching for some form of trace that Izaya or someone shady had been there. but thoughts had begun clouding his judgement.

Is Izaya alright? What must they be doing to him? Is he alive? Is he even in the city anymore? He stiffened at the thought. Maybe this was pointless. Maybe they had taken Izaya away from the city so that he couldn't ever be found. But he had to try. Even if the raven wasn't in the city anymore, he had to make sure. What if he was in another country? Or half way around the world?

Shizuo felt a pain in his chest as it tightened. A feeling grew inside of him that he had never felt before. One that made his breathe quicken and his palms sweaty, one that made his head ache and chest tighten.

Fear?

Was he scared to lose Izaya? They did become good friends over the months, even if they would sometimes fight and argue, they were still pretty close. But did he fear losing him . . . ?

. . . Yes.

He did fear losing him.

After getting nowhere, Celty pulled over at the park and let Shizuo release some of his pent up emotions. After a cigarette, he calmed down enough to sit on a bench. And that would have been around the time Kadota showed up with his gang.

"You guys find anything?" he walked towards Celty. Celty had asked them to help out since they could help. Shizuo didn't mind, at least there would be more eyes looking for Izaya should they see him or anyone suspicious.

[No nothing yet, what about you?] Celty typed.

"Nothing," Kadota scratched the back of his head, then looked pasted Celty towards Shizuo, who had his back turned to them and on his second cigarette. "How is he?" Kadota gave a nodding gesture towards him.

[Not good,] Celty seemed to sigh as her shoulders slumped. [He didn't get much sleep last night and he's been worrying non-stop about Izaya, he came around at six in the morning to get me.]

"Geez," Kadota cast his eyes down. He didn't know what to say to that, it was a difficult topic to breech and he wasn't quite sure how to talk about it since he knew Shizuo was listening.

[Though I'm happy that Shizuo is concerned with Izaya enough to go out looking for him to save him, it's a big change from before] Celty started. [But, I'm much more concerned about Izaya's position right now, although Shizuo is probably more worried about it then us because he blames himself for it]

Kadota looks at Shizuo again, the distorted anxiety written in his body language. "You right about that."

"Man this sucks!" Walker groaned. "It didn't take us this long to find Izaya the last time."

"That's true," Erika sighed. "Although he was just walking around when we stare him over by the west."

Shizuo's eyes widen at that. He suddenly remembered a conversation he had when Izaya was explaining his disappearance a while back.

' _And he asked me to meet him at a warehouse in the west of Ikebukuro where I'd get my pay.'_

He stood up, crushing his cigarette under his foot before a new found determination filled his expression. He knew where Izaya was now, it wasn't really knowing where, more like a feeling he had that he was there.

"Huh? Hey, wait Shizuo!" Kadota began to chase after him.

"Don't follow me!" Shizuo snapped, but didn't turn back nor stop as he continued. Once the park was out of sight and he was sure they couldn't see him anymore, he instantly shot out into a full blown sprint towards the west side of Ikebukuro.

 _Please be safe . . ._

…..

"Hey boss!" one of the men called, two others with him. "Can we have a go at the guy now? We haven't done it in a while."

"Are you some kind of horny bastards?" their boss snapped. He'd had enough of this sort of talk. Ever since they got Izaya and had their first go at him, this is all they want from him now, night til morning. "No. he's mine until further notice."

"Aw," their faces fell.

"Come on boss!" one pleaded.

"Just give us ten minutes."

"No! And that's final!" the boss growled, making sure his judgement was clear, and the others no longer argued. He was pissed that they kept asking for this sort of thing, and he couldn't do it because he had to make sure that no one would find them or disturb them. So to solve matters, he let his men beat and have their own time with Izaya, but he's really itching and he hated all this 'asking permission' shit. It was starting to irritate him.

"Fuck it!" standing up, the boss made his way towards the back room where Izaya was resting peacefully. "Come if you want. But he's mine, got it!"

Cheers all around as they followed there leader into the room.

The boss woken Izaya from his nap, they had changed his clothing so that all he wore now was just a button up white shirt, his hands were still cuffed and he was still on the bed.

Izaya's eyes quickly drifted towards the others that entered, all of them this time. Suddenly, he was pushed down by the boss. Panic engulfed his entire body as he was forced down once more. The boss pressed his shoulders down as two others held his legs, spreading them wider. All he really wanted to do was sleep, his body ached enough already and was batted black and blue.

 _Enough already . . ._

The boss entered him, thrusting in hard and sharp. Another sat on his chest, burying his own cock into Izaya's mouth, plunging in and out. Others made bruises and deep scratches in the form of cuts one his limbs and torso, biting down on his flesh hard enough to draw blood and giving him hickey's, each taking turned in pounding him and thrusting there member's into Izaya's mouth.

 _No more . . ._

More and more, they tortured his battered body without thought. Izaya stared up at them, these demonic creatures that are humans. Tears staining his cheeks as he felt blood and cum flow, the trickles of sweat that these monster dripped on him made him feel disgusted with himself for letting this happen to him. blood and sweat stained the white ripped shirt as they tore at him, devouring everything he had without consent.

 _Please. No more . . ._

He was chocking for breathe now, it was becoming harder to breathe with his bruises on his chest, not to mention the new wounds he had. This was far worse than anything they had done before. They hit at the bruises, constricting his muscle so he couldn't relax. He couldn't send his mind someplace else because the pain in his body was filling his mind and he wouldn't pass out. he actually thought that this was how he was going to die, death by these monsters.

 _. . . help . . ._

Then, the boss had thrusted into him again. He had let the others have turns at Izaya, despite his warning, but now he was at it again. And this time, he wasn't going easy. No, he was worse than the others now. More blood was mixing with sweat and cum as he thrusted in.

 _Someone . . . please, save me . . ._

The front door to the old ware house had been kicked in, dust had exploded and a large bang had alerted them. And when that dust cleared, a figure stood there, silhouetted by the afternoon sun.

…

 **I know, I know, I put in another cliff hanger, yay! Anyway. Sorry about the late-ish update. This is postponed for a couple of days due to laziness and writers block. But it's finished and here.**

 **Give a review to let me know what you think. I do love them so very much.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm glad to see what you guys are writing about in the reviews, it makes me happy to see that I'm doing a good job with this story. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed or viewed this story, it makes me very happy!**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners**

… **.**

For a moment, Shizuo stood there completely shocked. Eyes wide open, mouth slightly gaping, his face pale. nine men were crowded around Izaya on a bed, Shizuo took in Izaya's half naked form, legs spread for a man, clothes covered in blood and large, black bruises spread all over his body. Izaya, on the other hand, was looking at the doorway to see Shizuo standing there. At first, he thought it was his imagination, that maybe he was dreaming? But the men surrounding began moving bringing him out of his trance.

The gang members gasped and moved into attack stance at the newcomer. But the only thing Shizuo was focused on right now was the position Izaya was in, and that's when he finally understood what Izaya went through all those times before.

Something in Shizuo's head snapped, his mind clouded and his vision blackened, what happened next was nothing but blind rage as his body lost all control and gave into pure hate.

Izaya watched as one man charged towards Shizuo, fist raised. But he was sent through the wall with a single punch and a sickening crack, blood flew from his face. They gasped at he shattered the surrounding wall as he went through. They turned towards Shizuo who began walking towards them, eyes flaring anger.

Another leapt at him, already swinging a punch. Shizuo lashed out, gripping his shirt and spinning around, then let go sending him through the opposite wall, completely burying the guy into it. His breathing became fierce growls as he turned back towards the others his dilated eyes only focused on the man between Izaya's open legs.

Two others now, gripping a lead pipe and steel bat, ran at him. The bat swung first, Shizuo ducked and sent an upper-cut to the guy's jaw, smashing him into the roof. he then whipped around to the other before he could swing his weapon, Shizuo slammed his fist into his face, sending him into the wall. He was eerily quiet which scared the others the most, because he usually had no control and would roar his anger out. this was different.

This was pure rage in its silent form.

Izaya was having trouble keeping his eyes open, but he was having a harder time believing what was happening before him. He watched on as the surrounding men flew through the air, splatters of blood everywhere as they were sent flying.

Once all the lackey's were dealt with, Shizuo marched towards he and the boss on the bed. Izaya still wasn't sure that this was Shizuo, it seemed like he was possessed by a quiet burning rage that took over every sense. The way the shadow hung over his body and the way his eyes glared death, it almost seemed like he really was a monster.

Shizuo's hands shot out to get the suddenly terrified man between Izaya's legs, Shizuo gripped the back of his collar and began dragging him towards the wall and slamming him against it, cracks forking through it with the boss in the centre.

"So, is this what you need to be satisfied? Rape an innocent?" Shizuo's voice sounded like venom. His grip tightened on the man's shirt, knuckles turning white as his glare became fiercer than ever before.

"He's not innocent," the man snickered.

Shizuo lifted him from the wall only to slam him against even harder. "IT STILL DOESN'T JUSTIFY FOR RAPE ASSHOLE!"

Now, Izaya was sure of it, this was Shizuo. No one else was that loud when angry nor could they do that. He had come to save him, finally. Relief washed over him in waves. He couldn't believe it. He didn't need to worry anymore. He smiled without realising and he felt happy that he was saved.

"Who cares?" the boss smirked. "In the end, it shouldn't matter what justified or what's not, we were told to do this and it was a job we gladly took because it was fun. The pay is good and what better job could a man ask for right? All we did was have a little fun and get a nice pay check."

Shizuo stood there before his eyes darkened once again, his body seething rage. He raised his fist, "then you won't mind if I have a little fun." He smashed his fist into the man's face, blood splattered from the punch and onto his hand. The body ceased movement and Shizuo let him fall to the ground, thankfully he was still breathing as were the others. But he didn't care about that right now.

Right now, he turned towards Izaya's, looking sadly upon the almost sleeping form. His body was battered and bruised, completely unable to move anymore. He seemed so tried, like he could finally rest.

Izaya felt the bed dent and his eyes shot open, instantly looking up to this Shizuo's regretful eyes. His face and clothing was speckled with blood and his knuckles were painted red. Izaya let Shizuo gentle stroke his hair and he curled into the warmth.

"You ok?" Shizuo's voice held deep concern, finally understanding what Izaya had to go through now. It all made sense now, why he avoid alleyway's, why he didn't want to be alone without staying with someone who was strong and could protect him, why he had bruises all over his body and why he never looked people in the eye.

Izaya only gave a nod, he felt much better knowing Shizuo was there. But then he felt Shizuo move away and his hand automatically shot out gripping his arm, worried eyes looked up at him.

"It's ok, I'm not going to leave, I'm going to go find your clothes, I'll be back soon." Shizuo patted Izaya's hand and gave it a squeeze. Izaya heard those words before, and it never ended well after. But he saw the look in Shizuo's eyes and he knew that Shizuo wasn't going to leave him, so he let go. "I'll be right back ok?"

Shizuo disappeared almost instantly, leaving Izaya to hug his arms. It felt cold again. Without Shizuo, it always felt cold. But he did hear Shizuo's searching by the tossing of objects that he couldn't see. He wanted to go see what Shizuo was searching through, but when he tried to sit up, pain flooded his body full force, attacking every muscle he had like sharp stabs, so he stayed put.

Shizuo returned not long after. He helped Izaya dress, being mindful of all his bruises and aching flesh, and being mindful not to look anywhere he shouldn't. But after Izaya was fully dressed in his black shirt, black jeans and black shoes, Shizuo was about to wrap the fur trimmed coat around when Izaya suddenly threw his arms around Shizuo's neck.

"Hey!" It caught Shizuo off guard, but then he heard sniffling and felt wet droplets on his shoulder, he relaxed. Slowly, his arms came around Izaya, gently rubbing his back.

"I thought you weren't going to come," Izaya said, finally saying words.

"Sorry I was late. I'm so sorry," Shizuo rested his nose against Izaya's head and let Izaya bury his head into his neck. Izaya's grip never loosened and he never let go. He allowed him to cry, Izaya had every right to cry over something like this. This horrible thing.

He made a promise, he'd never let anyone else touch him this way, to do this to him. His grip on Izaya tightened just a little as he swore that he'd protect Izaya from anything and everything.

"Come on, we should get out of here," Shizuo patted Izaya's head after staying there for almost thirty minutes since Izaya had calmed down enough to stop crying.

"Ok," Izaya pulled back and let Shizuo put his coat on. The coat felt warm, but not as warm as Shizuo felt.

"Let's go," Shizuo slipped a hand under his knees and one protectively around his back, lifting Izaya up with ease. He let Izaya wrap his arms around his neck and rest his head against Shizuo's shoulder.

They made their way out.

….

Shizuo walked down the street, his pace was quick but gentle as was his touch. From past events when Izaya was like this, his body was super sensitive and tender from the bruises and he didn't want to cause Izaya unwanted pain then what he was already in.

Izaya had fallen asleep, his arms had dropped to his lap and he rested his head against Shizuo's chest, breathing evenly and peacefully.

"Shizuo!" Kadota ran towards him, Shizuo stopped as he did. "You found him." Kadota looked at a sleeping Izaya.

"Yeah," Shizuo looked down at him with a grim expression. Kadota had a feeling that Shizuo knew what happened to Izaya, and he knew it was best not to ask what happened to make him like that. Because the look on his face was saying that he didn't want to find out what.

"So where was he," he decided to ask instead.

"West Ikebukuro ware houses, third from the right," Shizuo answered.

"Right," Kadota nodded. "Get home safe."

Shizuo gave a nod and walked past. Kadota headed off towards the van parked on the other side of the street where the others were. He opened the passenger door and slipped inside.

"Dota-chin, Dota-chin!" Erika called from the back, "did you find Iza-chan yet?"

"Shizuo found him," Kadota watched Shizuo disappear into the crowd, "over by the ware houses in the west, third from the right."

"Wow, we never looked there before," Walker said.

"Maybe it's because we didn't think about it." Erika wondered.

"Should we go check it out?" Saburo wondered.

"Yeah," Kadota folded his arms. "Who knows what was there."

"Alrighty then," Saburo turned the key and the engine roared to life, they drove down the high way towards the place Kadota said.

Once they arrived, Kadota, Erika and Walker all stepped into the ware house Shizuo said to go to. It wasn't really hard to find, the doors were practically blown off.

They stepped inside and nothing seemed out of the ordinary, just creates and boxes collecting dust in the corners, bits and pieces of machinery laid scattered about.

"Wow, this place is a mess," Erika said.

"Yeah," Walker agreed. "And a little creepy huh?"

Kadota then noticed a door ripped from its hinges at the back and moved towards it. One look inside and he gasped, the men were still scattered about. "Shit!" he exclaimed and walked inside, the other two followed not long after.

"Whoa, Shizuo really went all out, didn't he?" Walker shivered, there was an eerie feeling in the air from this room, the smell of blood was strong.

"Yeah, I think this is way worse than all the other times he's lost it," Erika said.

Kadota looked around, "if these guys are the ones that kidnapped Izaya, then we better talk to the police about it, but first let's get these guys to the hospital. Then we'll explain what happened afterwards."

They loaded up all nine of them into the back of the van, Erika and Walker said that they'd walk around town for a bit because they had a cosplay meeting to get to that was soon approaching and meet them later at the park when finished to give them details, so Kadota and Saburo headed towards the hospital and let the other two to walk around.

….

The first thing Shizuo did once he got home was lock all the windows and doors in his apartment. Then he headed to the kitchen with Izaya resting on the couch, he walked back and sat a cup of water in front of him. Izaya gave a silent thank you and took the water, Shizuo sat next to him.

Most of his questions have been answered: what made Izaya that way? How did those bruises appear? Why was Izaya so scared? But with those questions answer it brought in new questions: who paid those men to do that? Why were they paid to do that? And who was paying them to do that?

An arm wrapped around Izaya's torso, making sure that Izaya wasn't alone anymore and to make sure he was at least a little better. Finishing the water, Izaya curled up to the man next to him, the warmth greatly welcomed. Shizuo allowed Izaya to shift into a more comfortable position then rested an arm around him again.

It felt like hours, Izaya had fallen asleep again and Shizuo's brain rattled trying to recount everything that might answer his questions. But nothing helped, he went over and over again in his mind all the conversations he and Izaya had that would help, but nothing mentioned it. Now his head began to hurt from thinking about it too hard. And just thinking about wasn't going to be enough anymore. But one question stayed plastered at the front of his mind . . .

 _. . . What was really going on?_

…

 **Yay! Shizuo saved Izaya and best the shit out of the people that kidnapped Izaya! And now for another twist!**

 **Please review and tell me what you think of this, it makes me happy when you guys review.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I don't know what to say here so yeah**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

… **.**

Izaya hadn't said a word since they got back. Of course he wouldn't now, that made sense. Shizuo had taken the day off to make sure Izaya was alright, especially after _that_ ordeal. Tom was understanding enough to say yes, he sounded a little relieved actually when Shizuo explained that he found Izaya (leaving out the whole thing about rape) but he did explain that Izaya wasn't feeling well.

That wasn't a lie.

When midnight came, or what Shizuo presumed was midnight, Izaya had woken him up. Though Shizuo was a little less than pleased about being woken from his sleep, he noticed Izaya's condition: his cheeks were red, sweat covered his body and his skin was white hot and pale white.

As it turns out, he had a fever and a cold as to what Shinra had said:

 _Shizuo called Shinra over as soon as Izaya had passed out on the bed again after waking Shizuo. Shinra came over faster than expected, but Celty was with him so he'd come over quicker._

 _Shizuo had answered the door when Shinra knocked and allowed both he and Celty to enter. By that time, Izaya had stumbled out and collapsed against Shizuo for support. Shizuo could tell that he was hurting worse than ever before because of his ragged breathing and the instant drop into his arms felt more like a solid thud. He must not have recovered complete to stand yet, and his condition must have worsened as well._

" _Geez, he doesn't look good," Shinra said, shifting his glasses to examine Izaya a little better as Shizuo stabilised him._

" _Scary," Izaya whispered and pressed himself further behind Shizuo._

" _Hey, Shinra's going to look at you to make sure you're ok." Shizuo reasoned, soothing Izaya's head._

" _Shin . . . ra?" Izaya looked up at Shizuo's face, confusion written on his expression. Shizuo sighed, it's like he's changed again._

" _Yeah, Shinra's going to do a check up to make sure you get better, you're sick and you need to get better, he's a doctor." He explained, arms wrapping around the smaller man's torso to keep him on his feet._

" _No!" Izaya shook his head and buried it into Shizuo's chest._

" _Yes, now come on," Shizuo picked Izaya up and lead Shinra to the couch. When Shizuo place Izaya on the couch carefully, Izaya didn't let go and Shizuo toppled after him. Shinra gave a smile but became serious._

" _Hey!" Shizuo growled_

" _Don't go," Izaya whispered._

" _I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here," Shizuo patted his arms so he could let go._

 _It was a while before Izaya's grip loosened and Shizuo could lay him down. Shinra bent down next to Izaya. "Hello Izaya, you feeling ok."_

 _Izaya's eyes widen and he scrambled to Shizuo who was standing beside Shinra. "S-S-Shizuo!" he gripped Shizuo's pants._

" _What!" Shizuo snapped and steadied himself before holding Izaya's wrists. "It's just Shinra, remember? That annoying perverted doctor?"_

 _Izaya glanced at Shinra with disgust and a little fear._

" _Hey! What's with that look?" Shinra exclaimed._

 _It took a bit of convincing from Shizuo to get Izaya to finally agree to the examination. The deal was that Izaya could have anything he wanted be it food, clothes, anything he wanted Shizuo would get for him. So Shizuo sat down and held Izaya's hand at his request._

 _Izaya would squirm every time Shinra touched a tender spot or bruise; Shizuo guessed it hurt a lot because every time Shinra touched him, he'd squeeze Shizuo's hand tightly. But it could also be from fear so Shizuo would rub his thumb over the back of Izaya's hand which seemed to calm him down better._

" _Well, I should bandage the wounds before they get infected, and his fever should go down. I'll give you the cold medicine for his cold and he should be better in a few days." Shinra said. "Provided he gets the rest needed."_

 _It took a further two hours for Shinra to bandage all of Izaya's bruises and cuts. It caught Celty off guard when she saw those bruises that laid upon Izaya's back when Shizuo finally convinced Izaya to take off his black pull-over. Shinra had asked Celty to turn around so she didn't have to see. But she was frozen. Bandaging Izaya's torso took a lot longer than usual, especially since Izaya would squirm and Shinra couldn't focus clearly with Celty watching._

 _Once finished, Izaya had fallen asleep quickly at Shizuo's touch, which was gently gliding his hand down Izaya's cheek. Once he made sure Izaya was in a deep sleep, Shizuo pulled away and looked towards Shinra._

" _Give him this in the morning and afternoon and he should get better within a few days or so." Shinra placed a bottle of small white pills in Shizuo's hand._

" _Right, thanks for coming out," Shizuo said._

" _It's alright." Shinra smiled. "I was worried about him to. When Celty came back and told me Izaya was kidnapped again, it worried me greatly because he's a friend of mine and I didn't want anything to bad to happen to him."_

" _Yeah," Shizuo nodded slightly._

" _Well, best be going now," Shinra smiled and waved, Celty flashed Shizuo a message on her phone._

 _[Take care of him and yourself Shizuo, ok?]_

" _I will," he smiled and closed the door behind her._

 _Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and turned back to Izaya. He could sleep a little better now knowing that Izaya was safe with him. He picked Izaya up and carried him to bed._

And that was all last night.

Shizuo had woken up around nine-ish and hadn't moved since. He laid in bed and stared at the ceiling, an arm around a sleeping Izaya who was curled up against him, right where he left him. He had received word that Tom was going to be out of town for a while to run a few jobs since Shizuo was taking time off to look after Izaya. It didn't bother him much; at least Tom had something to do while Shizuo was busy making sure Izaya was alright.

But now he had time to reflect upon the events up until this point. In the start, things between them were quiet, but that was mostly on Izaya's part. Now he knew why. Those bruises that appeared on his body and the dead look in his eyes when he appeared before Shizuo again, he found them strange and unnerving. Now he knew why. And the reason for Izaya's sudden change in attitude had been weird, but thanks to that they had become good friends and now there her barely any arguments or fights between them. But this attitude was innocent and nothing like the Izaya he had come to know and hate. Now he knew why. He felt his hands clench into fist and grit his teeth just at the memory of seeing that.

 _And now he knew why._

He felt Izaya shift against him. Shizuo looked down to see him crawl closer and settle. Shizuo looked upon the bandages on his chest down his pull-over where it peeked through and his gaze saddened. It was his job to protect him, and he failed when Izaya needed him the most.

"Shizu . . . –chan," a whisper snapped him back to reality.

Shizuo looked down at Izaya, wondering if he heard correctly. Did he just whisper his name? Making sure, Shizuo gave a light shake to Izaya's shoulder since he had his arm wrapped around him. "You awake Izaya?"

No answer.

Guess he was still sleeping. Shizuo calmed his beating heart, he didn't know why but whenever Izaya touched him, his heart would race and it began to annoy him now because he still didn't know why.

Also, this cuddling at night had become a habit on Izaya's part. He only used to do this when he was having nightmares, but this is something different. It was almost as if he wanted to be cuddled and held gently of a night.

Izaya's leg suddenly wrapped around Shizuo's lower half, surprising him enough to jolt. This was new. But Izaya didn't wake at the movement. Slowly, with his heart rattling against his chest, Shizuo moved Izaya's leg back down to his side, but Izaya growled in discomfort and scrunched up his face.

Shizuo froze; he didn't want to wake Izaya up, especially since he was still sick and needed rest. He took his hand away and let Izaya readjust himself, putting his leg high on Shizuo's torso, scraping against his groin which jumped at the touch.

Wincing, Shizuo took in deep breathes to calm himself, he had suddenly felt hot from the touch and he felt his cheeks heat up. But slowly, his body calmed down and he rested a little more, it felt like another hour as his body relaxed into a calming sensation before sharp pain tore at his stomach and loud roar followed.

He groaned at suddenly becoming hungry but he didn't want to leave the bed. But his stomach protested loudly with another growl. Having enough, he got out of bed, careful not to wake Izaya up as he made his way out of the room.

…

Izaya grumbled as his eyes flickered open, hazy vision landed on the spot next to him, seeing no one there was unusual so he sat up, cringing at the sudden pain electrocuting his body. He gave a whimper at it as he tried to stand. Shizuo had gone missing and he smelt food, so Shizuo must me cooking something? He told himself.

Limping his way out of the bedroom and down the hallway, he found the living room and headed straight the kitchen. "Shizu-chan?" Izaya said weakly.

Shock was written all over Shizuo's face and he was at Izaya's side in an instant, arms out stretched ready to catch him if he collapsed again. "What are you doing out when your still sick? Your fever hasn't completely gone, go back to bed!"

Izaya took the offer and walked into Shizuo's open arms, nuzzling his chest and bunching up his arms to keep warm. "But you're not there." he whined.

Shizuo blush a little at the comment but gently wrapped his arms around the small frame, mindful of the bruises still very present on his back. "If your still cold then put warmer clothes on, I have to cook lunch ok?"

"Lunch?" Izaya was lost in the warmth he received to notice anything else.

"Yeah, it's about lunch time, we slept in for a while actually." Shizuo took his arms away and stepped back, "now go put on some warmer clothing."

Izaya pouted at the loss of heat but went back to the bedroom.

Shizuo laid out two bowls of white sticky rice with a bowl of miso and grilled fish, it wasn't exactly flashy, but he was pretty happy with himself at his accomplishment of cooking what seemed like a good meal.

"Izaya! Lunch is ready!" Shizuo called and Izaya came back out again, slowly making his way towards the table. Shizuo felt his blood run cold when he saw Izaya limp towards his food. He must have gone through hell again at that ware house, Shizuo knitted his brows together at the thought, "thank you for the meal."

"Thank you for the meal," Izaya whispered and begun eating, picking at the grilled fish and rice while Shizuo was throwing his food down, he was hungry and since he didn't have breakfast, he was really hungry.

Shizuo watched Izaya still picking at his food, he must not be very hungry, but he should be eating more since he was sick. But then he realised what Izaya had on.

"Is that my jacket?" Shizuo pointed his chopsticks towards Izaya who perked up at his voice; he then looked down at what he was wearing. It was a large moss green jacket with a fleece inside and a hood.

"It is? I didn't notice, it's so warm," Izaya smiled, snuggling deeper into the jacket. "You must not wear it enough, it feels brand new."

"It's also over-sized on you," Shizuo drank the juice of his miso. The jacket looked more like a blanket with a hood and pockets on Izaya, was he really that small?

Nevertheless, Izaya had finished half of his meal while Shizuo had finished his completely, Shizuo had taken the dishes to wash up while Izaya laid on the couch, bunched up to get all of the coats warmth.

"Hey! If you're going to sleep, go to bed!" Shizuo ordered but no reply. Izaya had already fallen asleep. Sighing, Shizuo went back to washing the dishes. After they were done, Shizuo made his way toward a sleeping Izaya.

He didn't want to disturb him, he was so peaceful sleeping. But he was afraid Izaya might get even sicker because his only source of warmth was coming from the jacket he had wrapped around his body.

Taking a blanket from the closest, Shizuo threw it over Izaya to keep the chill out and sat down beside him, watching him sleep. Slowly, Shizuo hand unconsciously began to brush throw Izaya's raven locks gently. Izaya seemed to relax better that the slight touch and even smile a little. And it made Shizuo smile a bit to.

While Izaya was out cold, Shizuo decided to get some of the laundry done, since that had been neglected for about a month and a large pile of clean clothes needed folding. So he started there.

It was about two hours later that Izaya began to stir; Shizuo froze thinking he was being loud, though he was being as quiet as possible to allow Izaya sleep. But that didn't work since Izaya sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking towards Shizuo who sat on the ground.

"Shizu-chan's folding clothes?" Izaya sat up properly with feet on the floor.

"Ah, yeah," Shizuo went back to folding, "it needed doing."

Izaya pouted and slipped onto Shizuo's lap, startling him.

"Um, wha—"

"Shizu-chan said I could have anything I wanted right?" Izaya cut him off.

"Oh, right." Shizuo relaxed with a sigh, he almost completely forgot about that. "So, what do you want? Extra ootoro? New clothes? a new phone?" he really hoped it wasn't the last one, he only had so much money.

"I want Shizu-chan!" Izaya declared, groggily. Maybe the fever still hadn't subsided and only got worse so now he was being delusional? Shizuo really hoped that was the case.

"Huh!" he exclaimed. But Izaya instantly got to his feet, pulling Shizuo onto the couch. Izaya slid into his lap, straddling his legs and placing both hands on Shizuo's shoulders. Their eyes locked and Izaya smiled. "What do you mean you want me?" Shizuo said.

"I want Shizu-chan!" Izaya repeated.

"I know that!" Shizuo snapped. "What I want to know is why—!"

Izaya cut Shizuo off by placing his lips against his. Shizuo's cheeks instantly flared up, turning bright red. Izaya closed his eyes and took Shizuo's stunned state to slip his tongue inside his mouth, rolling it around the other.

Shizuo slowly relaxed, but his heart was bursting as he felt the other's tongue inside his mouth. He had never been kissed before, and Izaya was the first person to actually kiss him now that he remembered. Cautiously, Shizuo placed his hands on Izaya's hips, still careful of the painful bruises he had.

Izaya felt Shizuo become bolder as he began moving his tongue with his; he ran a hand through Shizuo's hair, holding him more tightly as Shizuo explored his mouth now. He was a little curious as to how Shizuo handled himself, especially in a kiss like this. Izaya felt Shizuo's hand lower to cup his rear, though he only rested it on there, no grabbing because he knew it was still sore and the gesture made his heart flutter. He also felt Shizuo's thumb draw circles at his hip that both tickled and felt good as he moaned slightly into Shizuo's mouth.

Shizuo had no idea what he was doing, but he like it. He was surprised at how much he was actually enjoying this, and by the looks of things, Izaya was enjoying himself as well by his squirming and mewling which he thought was a good thing. Slowly, both hands travelled up Izaya's back and wrapped around his torso, bringing him in closer.

Izaya's eyes shot open, but he relaxed when all Shizuo wanted to do was hug him tighter. So he began to play with Shizuo's tongue, rubbing against it. He let his hands circle around Shizuo's neck and his hands ran through Shizuo's blonde hair. He felt the heat coming off Shizuo and took into his own body, which was already hot enough. He felt Shizuo's growing arousal against his own as he grinded again Shizuo, earning a groan from the other which made him happy.

When they parted for breathe, a string of saliva attached to their bottom lips as they panted, it broke. Shizuo studied Izaya's face, drool covered mouth from the kiss they shared, a deep blush had appeared on his cheeks and a lustful look in his eyes. It hurt to resist, but he couldn't do anymore, fearing he might hurt Izaya mentally and damage the relationship they both established.

Izaya on the other hand, loved the look Shizuo had. A light blush dusted his cheeks, the even more dishevelled blonde hair and his brown half-lidded eyes were all too tempting to try and not go in for more. But he couldn't because he knew Shizuo wouldn't allow it. And he didn't protest to that idea, he did have a point after all, and it would be bad if they continued anymore because he feared what might come next, though he was happy to have gotten such a heated kiss.

A knock at the door startled them both.

"Um, c-coming!" Shizuo said. Izaya hopped off his lap and sat down on the couch, wrapping the blanket around himself. Shizuo undid the locks and opened the door to see a smiling Shinra and Celty behind him. "Oh, hey guys." He stepped aside to let them both in.

"We came to check on Izaya to see how he's doing." Shinra said.

"Oh, ok." Shizuo closed the door after them and Shinra slowly made his way inside, setting his bag on the table and smiling gently at Izaya.

"did we interrupt something?" Shinra wondered, his smiled even bigger.

"no, not really," Shizuo scratched the side of his cheek.

"ok then," Shinra made his way towards Izaya.

A sudden feeling flood his body as Izaya sank deeper into the couch he didn't like, pulling the blanket around him tighter. Shizuo sat next to him, just to reassure him and make sure he doesn't freak out. "It's ok, Shinra's here to change your bandages." He told him.

Izaya pulled the hood over his head, hiding his face and leaned against Shizuo, curling up against him.

"It's ok, I won't hurt you, I'm only going to change your bandages and then I'll leave. Ok?" Shinra said.

It was strange that Izaya would be afraid of Shinra, he knew Shinra, they even went to the same middle school together. Shizuo looked up to Shinra who was trying to put reason into Izaya's thoughts while Izaya only curled further towards Shizuo. But now that he thought about it, Shinra did look a little like that guy with the glasses that had Izaya pinned to the bed before Shizuo beat the crap out of him.

"Oh," it dawned on him. Shinra looked towards Shizuo with a questioning look. "It's your glasses; he doesn't like your glasses." Shizuo gestured towards them.

"Oh, a special reason why?" Shinra shifted them with both hands.

"Well," Shizuo looked down, scratching the back of his head. "I won't go into detail about it, but it has something to do with Izaya's kidnappers."

"Ah," Shinra nodded, "that does make more sense now that I think about it. Yeah, Izaya is still in shock from the incident so of course it'd make sense for him to act this way. Now I get it." he smiled.

Shizuo sighed; of course it'd take him this long to figure out why. But Shinra was smarter than this and should have figured something along those lines. Although he might have already known about it and passed it off as something else maybe?

"Well, in that case, Shizuo you're going to have to do it." Shinra smiled at Shizuo's horrified expression.

"Are you crazy? I might do more damage than good." He exclaimed.

"Sorry, but I can't do it. You're the only one he trusts remember." Shinra said, gesturing to Izaya's grip on Shizuo's arm. "Besides, I'll give you the instructions so you don't mess up."

Shizuo looked down at Izaya, the sighed. "Alright, I'll do it."

The time it took for Izaya's bandages to change this time around wasn't as long as it took the last time, only an hour. After that Shinra and Celty left giving Shizuo good ideas for Izaya's health to improve, most of it was about his diet and that he should be getting plenty of rest.

After they left, Izaya went straight to sleep again. Sighing once more, Shizuo carried Izaya to bed. "Guess we're starting again now."

… **.**

 **I made a longer chapter. Thanks for all the reviews I've had so far, I'm happy that people are enjoying this story by the demand for more chapters ^.^**

 **So give a review if you liked this chapter, it makes me very happy when you guys do that.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I had HUGE writer's block with this chapter. And it annoyed me because I made a shitty chapter (sorry if it is). And then my internet began playing up again. But enjoy it nonetheless.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners**

… **..**

"It's been three weeks," Shizuo breathed out a cloud of smoke; he sat with Kadota in the park, watching Erika and walker play with Izaya. Three weeks since he saved Izaya, and everything's changed again.

"Any change?" Kadota asked.

"He's become more child-like, and he's dismissed his job completely." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Something just isn't right with this," Kadota looked towards Izaya, who smile wide as he played, almost as if he were a child.

"Yeah," Shizuo nodded, it was different he could agree, but the more things like this happened the more innocent Izaya became. Yes, it was different from the annoying flea he always had to deal with, but he barely even remembered how he used to act.

"Anyway, try not to worry too much about it," Kadota stood up, slipping both hands into his pocket. "I'm sure he'll bounce back one of these days."

"Hope so," Shizuo said.

"So, what are you going to do now that it's all over?" Kadota asked. "you know, once he gets better and goes back to the way he was?"

"Just go on that same as before." He shrugged.

"Shizuo!" Izaya ran towards them, "I'm hungry, let's go get food!"

Kadota blinked, he was used to Izaya calling Shizuo 'Shizu-chan,' but this caught him off guard.

"Alright," Shizuo stood up.

"Yay!" Izaya jumped up and down. This was another thing he's been doing for the past three weeks, calling Shizuo by his actual name rather than nickname. Though he did like it better than the nickname, it also meant that Izaya was drifting further and further away from his original self and changing into a completely different person.

"See ya," Shizuo gave a waved before heading down the street, Izaya attached to his arm.

"Yeah, later," Kadota replied before they disappeared.

….

"Hey Shizuo," Izaya said, eating his ootoro.

"Yeah?" Shizuo looked towards him.

"Is it alright if I take a job from Mr Shiki?" he placed a piece of ootoro in his mouth. That was new; he's never called that guy 'Mr' before. Maybe another side effect of his new attitude?

"Sure, I don't mind," Shizuo shrugged, at least now Izaya might be able to earn some of his old personality again, at least enough to make Shizuo believe he was alright to be on his own again. He hated to admit it, but he missed some of the old Izaya, and he missed being called Shizu-chan by him.

Shizuo froze at the sudden thought; he missed being called Shizu-chan? Didn't that annoy him? Yes, it did annoy him. But hearing his real name come from Izaya was a little strange. He wanted Izaya to keep saying Shizu-chan because that meant he was getting better and that he might be able to have a little more confidence in himself. But with that nickname gone and replaced with his old name kind of scared him a little. He ruffled his hair wildly to get his head around it.

"Shizuo, you ok?" Izaya suddenly appeared in front of Shizuo, jolting him out of his thoughts.

"Ah, yeah," he nodded, avoiding eye contact. Ever since that kiss he hasn't been able to look Izaya in the eyes for long without his body heating up and it all going to the pit of his stomach and his body want to go back and finish where that kiss had ended.

Izaya pout, nuzzling his face in Shizuo's chest and laying on him.

"Hey!" the action caught him off guard as he looked down. "What are you—?"

"Can we stay like this for a while? I'm cold," he bunched himself up in Shizuo's lap, trying to get as close to the warmth Shizuo permeated as possible. He hated when Shizuo didn't pay attention to him. He felt cold when he wouldn't answer him fully or turn away.

His old self would have protested and thrown the small being off him. His old self would have kicked out this raven a long time ago. His old self would be kicking his new self over how much he found this person to be so cute when he acted like this. But Shizuo rested a hand on Izaya's shoulder and brought him closer. "Sure."

It's because Izaya hadn't fully recovered his mental state, Shizuo told himself. It's because he's still damaged. Still unsure about who to trust and who to avoid. Still wondered who would be out to get him now.

Since Shizuo had saved Izaya three weeks ago, Izaya has pretty much avoided all male contact apart from Shizuo, Kadota and Shinra. Walker is an acceptation only because Erika is always with him. But he only ever allowed Shizuo to touch him. Now that he thought about it, why was that? Why did Izaya only allow shizuo to touch him? Even after all that and he still only allows Shizuo to hold him? To cuddle him? To touch him?

This was confusing Shizuo more than it should. But whenever Izaya cuddled Shizuo, he could always feel Izaya's heart beat fast. Maybe he was just a little scared that Shizuo might do something to him like those others did. But he couldn't bring himself to be that low when dealing with this. No, this was different then all the other times that Izaya had been clingy.

But why was Izaya so clingy in the first place? Yes, Shizuo had super strength and yes, he could protect Izaya when the time came. But it was odd that they'd even be in this sort of relationship in the first place.

So why?

…..

Izaya had woken up as Shizuo got out of bed. It was a habit since he always wanted to see Shizuo off. But he always woke when Shizuo woke.

His eyes watched Shizuo daily routine: shower, come back with a towel wrapped around his lower half and change (to which made him blush), make breakfast for two, and that would be the time when Izaya would usually come out to eat with him.

This time was no different.

Izaya had come out and ate breakfast with Shizuo, though Izaya was going over his own schedule in his head to make sure he accounted everything: check emails since he probably had a lot of them, make a phone call to Shiki since he wanted Izaya for a job, do the job. It shouldn't be too hard.

After breakfast was finished, Shizuo stood at his door. "I'll be out late again, sorry but you'll have to eat by yourself tonight."

Izaya looked down at the ground; this part had always left him empty. Shizuo knew that look well, it's because Izaya would be alone again, and Shizuo knew that Izaya never liked being alone. It usually ended up with Shizuo coming back to Izaya with red puffy eyes and sniffling, and he'd spend an hour trying to make Izaya feel a little better.

"Hey, I'll bring you whatever you like, ok?" Shizuo said. Izaya looked up at him with dancing eyes. "So now crying got it?"

Izaya smiled and nodded.

"Good," Shizuo ruffled Izaya's hair. "Well, see ya."

"Come back safe," he said.

"I will," Shizuo left and Izaya locked the door.

Izaya turned back to the quiet apartment, he felt chills go down his spin and he hugged his arms shivering slightly.

 _It's cold without shizuo . . ._

Snapping away from those thoughts, Izaya went straight to work after grabbing a blanket from the closest. His emails had blown through the roof and he spent two hours scanning each one and moving onto the next. They were all mostly about suicidal teenaged girls that he's been chatting with before he was taken. He replied to most but he really didn't feel like talking to them. The others were about information requests that needed to be dealt, but those could wait.

He moved on to talk with shiki, which was mostly about the job Shiki wanted Izaya to do. Apparently there syndicate was attacked again by a single unknown man, most likely a suicide assassin as Izaya thought, and Shiki wanted him to find out who this was.

"It shouldn't be too hard," Izaya said.

"Good," Shiki said through the phone. "You'll be paid half now. The other half comes after you've finished the job."

"Alright, pleasure doing business with you, as always." A smile spread across his face.

The phone call ended and Izaya went straight to work.

…

Shizuo blew out a cloud of smoke, not even a little over ten minutes after he had lunch with Izaya and already he was worried about him.

"He'll be fine," Tom tried to reassure Shizuo for the hundredth time. "He's been on his own before and I'm sure he'll be fine now."

"I know that much, but it doesn't help that I can't stop thinking about what might happen if I'm not there to protect him." Shizuo growled.

"You beat the crap out of those guys, right? What's there to be worried about?" he wondered.

"it's not that, it's just that I'm worried with him alone, his thoughts might come out and he'll start doing stupid shit or something like that." Shizuo tossed the cigarette butt to the ground and snuffed it out.

"Ah, guess that is a worry," Tom rubbed the back of his neck, finally understanding Shizuo's concern. "But, maybe you're just over thinking it?"

"Every time I come home, I find he's been crying. Not the mention his nightmares have gotten to the point where he can't even sleep at night. And then I can't sleep because I've got to look after him until morning." he growled.

So that's was why he was so pissed off some days at work, Tom noted, it was from not sleeping well at night.

"But, I guess it's only natural to worry about the guy, after all he's been through and all." Shizuo sighed.

"Yeah. But all we can do is hope that he gets better," Tom patted Shizuo's shoulder.

Shizuo nodded.

"Well, come on, we've got work to do," Tom said. "Our next one works in the drug trade and keeps taking loans but never pays them back."

"Right," Shizuo followed Tom off to their next destination.

…..

"I'm home!" Shizuo announced his return. His day was long, even longer with wanting to come home to make sure Izaya was alright.

"Welcome back Shizu-chan!" Izaya smiled from his computer.

Shizuo was taken aback by the sudden name change again. He blinked at Izaya through his blue sunglasses. Then he twisted a pinkie in his ear to make sure he heard him right. Did he really just call him Shizu-chan?

Izaya chuckled and walked towards Shizuo, slipping his arms around his neck and startling Shizuo even more as a slight blush appeared on his face. "What's wrong Shizu-chan? Your face is all red."

"Are you," he paused, gripping Izaya's arms gently and placing the back down. "Feeling ok?"

"uh-huh," Izaya nodded with a childish smile and placing both hands behind his back.

"Ok." He moved inside and Izaya followed him towards the kitchen. Was he in a better mood because he knew Shizuo would bring him something? But when Izaya walked towards him just now, there was a secret glint in his eyes and that smirk he had known from the old Izaya had formed on his face again.

"Hey Shizu-chan," Izaya stood beside him.

"Yeah?"

"Didn't you promise me something?" he cooed.

Knew it! Shizuo turned towards him, "so, what do you want?"

"I want ootoro," Izaya announced.

Shizuo smiled, easy enough. "alright." But it was strange that Izaya would ask something like that, since he always had ootoro for dinner when Shizuo didn't feel like cooking. Shizuo's eyes widen and he looked to Izaya, "did you have dinner?"

"No, I waited until Shizu-chan came home." Izaya stated. "so that we can have dinner together."

Shizuo sighed. "Alright, Russia sushi it is then."

Dinner was just a little bit happier, which surprised Shizuo since they were eating in silence for the past three weeks. Something happened today that he missed. Whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, he wasn't quite sure. But it made his heart flutter and his smile just that bit bigger when Izaya carried on happily, almost like the old Izaya but much less annoying.

…..

"There we go, you're all healed up," Shinra said, removing the last bandage on Izaya's body.

"Thanks Shinra." Izaya smiled, hopping off the bed and pulling on his shirt.

"You know, I'm surprised. You never even let me near you if Shizuo's not here." Shinra said, putting away his equipment. "And even then it's Shizuo who is only allowed to touch you."

"Yes, that's true. But I have more to fear from a bee then I do from you." Izaya smirked. "I've simply learnt to let it go." Shinra gave Izaya a strange glance. "But it also helps to know that my attackers are safely behind bars in an overseas prison to which I learned is actually quite horrible to stay in."

"Oh, now I see why your better." Shinra sighed. So you feel better to know that your attackers a suffering, he thought.

"Well, best be going. Oh Shizu-chan!" Izaya called with a smile and headed out into the living room.

Shizuo turned around at hearing his name with a cigarette in his mouth and leaning on the railing, Celty stood beside him. They had been talking about Izaya's sudden change in attitude which seemed like a huge leap from his personality change over the past few weeks.

Izaya stepped out onto the balcony with a huge smile, "I'm all better now!" he announced. "We should have hot pot to celebrate!"

"Huh?" Shizuo gave him a confused face.

"Shinra said that I'm all healed up. So we should celebrate . . . by having hot pot." He smiled.

Shizuo looked towards Celty who shrugged, [I don't mind. I think it would be good.]

"Well, I guess that means were having hot pot!" Shinra piped up, coming into the room.

"Alright," Shizuo agreed, scratching the back of his head.

"Yay!" Izaya beamed.

The hot pot took a while to cook, but with Izaya's help along with Shinra. It was actually really fun. Izaya did most of the talking, telling Shizuo about the men that raped him were now behind bars in a prison out of the country. But he also talked about the job Shiki had set him up with saying he may need a little help from Celty, to which she agreed to help despite Shinra's protests.

And at night, Izaya slept just a little more peacefully, which gave Shizuo relief as to not worry so much.

… **..**

 **Looking back at the previous chapter. Izaya saying that he wanted Shizuo was kind of like him confessing and Shizuo getting the wrong idea about it. but, the actual confessing comes in later.**

 **Anyway, tell me what you think about this chapter, it's not very well thought out but I tried and finally managed to get someplace.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok back with another chapter. And I hope you guys like this one, sorry about the previous crappy chapter, I had no idea where I was going with it and I finally knew where I was going close to the end-ish I think. I'm sorry about it. But this here is a super long chapter so I hope you enjoy it.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

… **.**

He's watching again, Shizuo could feel Izaya's on him as he followed Tom down the streets. It's been a week since Izaya had started acting somewhat normal again, or at least like he used to. But this is feeling very strange. He couldn't concentrate on anything at the moment with those eyes on him again, he felt exposed yet he was fully clothed.

"Something wrong Shizuo?" Tom craned his head back to look at him. "You've been kind of distracted since lunch."

"Oh, sorry," Shizuo gave a quick scan around to see no familiar face nor raven hair, "just my imagination." He turned back and they both continued on their way.

But still, that nagging feeling that he was being watched never left him, because he recognised the feeling of being watched by Izaya. After all the time they've spent together, Shizuo knew the feeling of Izaya's eyes on him in an instant. And it made his heart beat faster than ever before and his cheeks would always heat up. Now he was sure of it, he knew he was sick with something and it involved Izaya.

An hour was all he could take before his body began heating to the point of him having a fever, or what he thought he had a fever. Tom told him to take the rest of the day off, to which he took gratefully so he could go see Shinra about this sickness.

…

"Oh, Shizuo," Shinra stood at the open door, a little confused as to why Shizuo was at his door step. "What are you doing here? Is it Izaya? Did something happen?"

"A-actually, it's about me." Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck, staring at the ground to avoid eye contact.

"Huh?" Shinra gaped, "what have you done this time?" he let Shizuo in and led him to the couch. When Shizuo sat down, Shinra gave him a once over and noticed that nothing seemed hurt, not even a scratch or bruise was on him.

"I'm not hurt you idiot!" Shizuo snapped. "I'm just sick!"

"Sick?" Shinra exclaimed, his expressions turned into one of surprise as if hearing the weirdest thing in the world, "that doesn't sound like you."

"Yeah," Shizuo sighed. "But I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately my heart beat has been getting faster, I feel hot and my stomach always feels weird, it's pissing me off."

"I see, well let me get set up first, that way we can get started." Shinra disappeared for a little while then came back with a black bag. He opened it and pulled out a stethoscope and placed the end to Shizuo's chest, hearing his normal beating heart. Next was blood pressure, then reaction tests, checking Shizuo's eyes to see if they dilated, and finally, to which Shizuo was relucent to give, a blood sample.

"Alright, give me an hour or so and I might be able to see what's wrong." Shinra disappeared in the back room.

Instead of sitting there doing nothing, Shizuo made his way outside on the balcony for a cigarette. Ever since Izaya started to act somewhat like he used to act —but he was still nice— Shizuo has been feeling a little off. His heart would beat just at the sound of his voice; he blushed when Izaya was around him. And when Izaya looked at him and smile, he felt himself melt on the spot.

Something was definitely wrong with him, and now he just had to wait until Shinra was done.

Vibration erupted from his pants pocket, he reach into a pulled out his cell phone. Izaya was calling him again. That makes three times today. He answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, where are you?" Izaya said. Shizuo could hear slight voices in the back ground which meant he must be outside or watching TV.

"Shinra's, I'll be home in two hours or so. Why, what's up?" already, his body began heating up, a light blush spread across his cheeks from just hearing him speak.

"Well, it's just that you're not home yet and you said that you were off work early today." Izaya's voice sounded childish, completely innocent. "Are you not feeling well?"

He forgot that he texted Izaya that he got off work early, but he didn't say that he was going to go straight home after. "Sort of," he rubbed his forehead, feeling the heat come off it. His heart beat wouldn't calm down, why did this sickness only start up when Izaya was around?

"Are you ok? Do you need me to come over?" there was concern in his voice, Shizuo could hear it, and that made his heart beat even faster.

"No, it's ok, I think I'll be fine." He gave a smile.

"You sure? Get better quick ok." Izaya said.

"I'll be fine." He said.

"Alright, but if you're not here by two hours, I'm going to find you, and if I find you there will be punishment, got it? So get back here as soon as you can." Izaya said.

"I will, don't worry." They said their goodbyes and hung up. Shizuo slipped his phone back into his pocket and sighed.

The sliding glass doors opened and Celty walked out. She closed them behind her and stood next to him. [Hey, I heard you're not feeling well. it's everything alright?]

He sighed again, hanging his head. "I really don't know what's wrong with me. My heart beat is out of control at times and my body heats up at the same time. I can't think straight and it's pissing me off because I don't know what's causing it, and my stomach is always jumpy about it as well and it makes me feel weird." he growled, clenching his fists.

Celty thought for a moment, then began typing and show Shizuo what she had written. [I don't think I've heard of this disease before, when does it usually occur?]

"I don't know. Whenever I talk to Izaya or when he's with me." Shizuo shrugged. "Although, lately it's gotten worse."

Celty froze, but then covered a hand over her helmet where her mouth would be and placed an arm to her stomach, her whole body moved while Shizuo gave her a questioning look as to what she was laughing at. She then typed something on her phone and showed it to him. [I think I know what you're sick with.] She had calm down enough to look at him in the eyes.

"Really? What is it then?" Shizuo looked at her serious.

[I think your love sick] she typed.

"Love sick?" Shizuo tilted his head, "what the hell is that?"

"It means you're in love Shizuo," Shinra had opened the door and stepped out. "I checked over the results and found nothing. Your perfectly healthy. But all signs point to you being in love."

Love was like a foreign word to Shizuo, sure he's felt love for his family and friends, but that was a different kind of feeling then the one he felt for Izaya.

"But it surprised me. You falling in love? I never thought I'd see the day." Shinra smiled. "I'm so proud of you."

"Shut it!" Shizuo snapped.

"But I do have a question," he stepped inside and the other two followed. "I'm curious to know who with." They sat on the couches, Shizuo sent him a glare.

"How should I know that." he growled, turning his head away.

[I think it's Izaya,] Celty, who sat next to Shinra, said.

"Izaya!" Shinra exclaimed, even more astonished then finding out about Shizuo's new love. "Now that's unexpected."

Shizuo gave a growl and stood. "I'm outta here. See ya."

…

In love with Izaya? That's impossible. Sure they were on good terms now and not at each other's throats anymore. But love? No way, there's no way that's right. Besides, isn't weird for two guys to love each other let alone date.

But with Izaya staring at him now, he couldn't really concentrate on much. Giving it a chance and gulping, Shizuo peeked at Izaya through the corner of his eye and sure enough, Izaya was staring contently at him. He snapped his attention back to his task, which had been cooking dinner.

Izaya smirked at the action, he thought it was kind of cute the way Shizuo got flustered. When Shizuo was out, Shinra called Izaya to say that Shizuo was on his way back and about his little love sickness. He also asked about how Izaya had felt about Shizuo with a little concern, not over his dilemma but as courteous for his friend. Izaya had responded with 'yes, he did like Shizuo just as much as Shizuo like him. and he already knew about Shizuo's love sickness. It was pretty obvious.'

But seeing Shizuo even more flustered then usual when he knew about it was that much more adorable, especially with the blush he had every time he looked at him. And Izaya had to admit that he really did like it when Shizuo did send side glances or stare when he thought he was being sneaky about it, it always made his heart flutter and felt loved for the first time in a while.

But he had to wonder, if they were to get together. What would happen? What would the people think once they see them holding hands? Smiling at each other? Laughing with one another? Sure they were used to seeing them in public walking together, but acting lovey-dovey would be a bit out of the ordinary.

The thought made Izaya sigh because it now became an urge. Slowly, his eyes drifted down to Shizuo's hands, those large hands that could hold his in a warm grasp and make him feel special, almost needed and wanted. He felt his cheeks warm just thinking about it.

But then an idea popped in his head. "Hey Shizu-chan."

Shizuo flinched at his name, then slowly turned to face the direction it came from. "Yeah?"

"Can we go somewhere for the weekend?" Izaya asked.

"Hmm? Go where?" now giving him a curious stare.

"Some place fun! Like an amusement park," he beamed.

"Well, I guess we could," Shizuo turned back to his cooking.

"Yay!" Izaya smiled even brighter. Shizuo came back towards the living room setting a plate of omelette on fired rice in front of Izaya, then sat down at the table with him.

"So, why do you want to go?" Shizuo asked.

"Because, I want to do something fun." Izaya smiled taking a bite, "hey this is pretty good."

"You like it?" Shizuo felt a little pleased with himself at being able to make something Izaya like. It seemed he liked everything Shizuo cooked in the time that they had been living together. How long had they been living together now? It was almost six months right? Six months of living together, eating together, sleeping in the same bed together (he blushed at the thought), being with the other without killing them. It seemed almost surreal to begin with, after years of hating each other, one little incident has brought them closer then what they would have ever thought possible.

It felt weird, but calming at the same time.

…..

Izaya couldn't sleep that night, not from excitement but awareness. Shizuo had fallen asleep a long time ago as noted but the quite snoring coming from him.

Turning over, Izaya stared at that face he had seen a thousand times over. It looked extremely peaceful. And he couldn't help himself. Slowly Izaya reached up and gently run his fingertips along Shizuo's cheek, down to his jaw line, to his chin and finally brushing over those lips. A sweet smile appeared on Izaya's face as he took his hand away.

The gesture had woken Shizuo by the ticklish touch. But he didn't open his eyes and instead stayed still, pretending to sleep. He felt Izaya's hand drift to his shoulder, then down his arm to reach his hand where he entwined their fingers. Trying not to blush was hard when he felt Izaya lace their fingers together, but why would he do something like this?

Izaya then nuzzled into Shizuo's shoulder a little more, seeking as much warmth as possible. Carefully, Shizuo opened his eyes a sliver and peeked down at Izaya, he was cuddled in close to his arm and smiled kindly, falling asleep.

Shizuo felt his body grow hot once more at seeing that sweet expression on his face, his stomach began to feel weird. But there was another feeling mixed in this time. Something even more powerful than the feelings before. It tingled and made him shift slight as he felt something in his pants jump.

But he ignored the feeling as best he could and tried to focus on going back to sleep again.

…..

The weekend rolled around faster than expected, Shizuo and Izaya both stood in front of the amusement park. Izaya smiling wildly while Shizuo stood beside him.

"Let's go in Shizu-chan!" Izaya tugged on Shizuo's sleeve to get him moving with a giggle.

"Ok! Ok! I'm coming, hold on." Shizuo said, following Izaya in after paying for them both.

People gave them strange looks, they were already used to seeing the two of them together. But they still wondered what made the change of heart for the both of them.

Izaya pranced from stall to stall playing mini-games while Shizuo followed him, each time something took caught his interest, Izaya would demand Shizuo get him what he wanted. And much to Izaya's surprise, Shizuo was actually pretty good at the games and won him a fluffy black cat plushie to which Izaya wanted. The next thing he won for Izaya was a soft golden wolf plushie that instantly reminded him of Shizuo.

Next were the rides, and unfortunately they were all the extreme rides such as the giant roller-coaster, the drop, something that went upside-down. By the time each ride had finished, Shizuo was happy to be on the ground again where it was safe. "I'm going for a smoke, I'll be back." Shizuo announced, he needed one after all that.

"Ok, I'll be over there," Izaya pointed towards a bench. "Come back when you're finished."

"Yeah," Shizuo walked out of the park and stood by the gate, lighting up a cigarette and staring up at the sky.

Izaya sat on the bench, smiling at the two prizes Shizuo won for him. He was playing around with the golden wolf with the black cat sitting beside him. This was a test to see how far they might go. He was really nervous about it because he did love Shizuo a lot and Shizuo did love him. But would Shizuo accept him? Would they be able to have a relationship? And would they be able to confess together?

A shadow had fallen across and he looked up to see a group of four tall, ugly looking men surrounding him, each with a twisted grin. He recognised these guys; they were one of his old clients to which he hated associating with.

"Well, if it isn't the informant," one of them smiled wickedly. "What are you doing out here?"

"Oh nothing, just thought that'd I'd have a day off for a change," Izaya smirked; he really didn't want to play with these humans.

"A day off huh?" he said. "Then why don't you come and have a little fun with us instead? Since you're not doing anything else right now." he lashed out and gripped Izaya's wrist, pulling him to his feet with a harsh tug.

"Wha—" Izaya tried to pull away, but the grip only tightened around his wrist. "Let go—"

A trash can hit all of them, knocking all of them to the ground. Izaya collapsed back on the bench and stared, shocked at the sudden attack. "Sorry, but I think it's time for you idiots to leave." A familiar voice snapped.

Izaya saw Shizuo marching towards them; he stood in front of Izaya, hands in his pockets and glaring death at the four on the ground.

"S-Shizuo! RUN FOR IT!" one of them shrieked and all four of them scattered into the crowd.

Shizuo turned towards a trembling Izaya, "you ok?"

"Y-yeah," he gave a shaky nod. He suddenly felt a hand ruffle his hair and looked up at Shizuo's face; there was sadness in his eyes, it felt like he failed to do something.

"Sorry I didn't come sooner," he said finally.

"It's not your fault." Izaya looked down.

Shizuo took his hand away. He noticed the look Izaya had and he didn't like it. Grabbing both plushies and shoving them into Izaya's arms, Shizuo pulled Izaya to his feet by the hand and began leading him someplace else. He wasn't quite sure where, but somewhere other than here.

"S-Shizu-chan?" Izaya stare up at him, wondering where they were going. But Shizuo didn't say a thing. Izaya felt the hand around his tighten reassuringly which made him blush slightly, and let his hand grip Shizuo's much larger one. He noticed that his hand was so much smaller than Shizuo's which made him smile, it felt nice to hold hands like this.

Shizuo had led him to the gardens, which were really beautiful and it calmed Izaya down a lot better and even make him smile brighter. He may have some of his old personality back with the way he made cheeky remarks to which Shizuo snapped at, but he didn't take anything to heart and smiled when Izaya laughed seeing his still kind self.

They walked around, admiring the different flowers and the colours that they presented, not very many people were around and there was a time when they were alone, Shizuo took full advantage of, he stuck a white daisy behind Izaya's ear to which Izaya looked up at Shizuo surprised, this was followed by Izaya placing a kiss on Shizuo's lips, stunning him. Izaya pulled back and stared at the ground with a blush.

"S-sorry, I don't know what came over me." Izaya turned away.

Shizuo licked his lips; he could still taste the kiss, but not enough. He wanted more. His hands held Izaya's chin and turned him back, touching lips once more. This kiss was longer but still just as gentle. One that made the blush on Izaya's cheeks deepen as Shizuo pulled away.

They both walked on, fingers interlaced.

….

Night had fallen and last on the list of things to do was the Ferris wheel. In the carriage, they sat on either seat, both staring at the view before them, neither making eye contact as the wheel slowly turned.

They were pretty high up now and had a great view of the amusement park as well as the city with flickering lights and busy people. It was a nice view. The silence between them wasn't awkward, it was a welcomed relaxed silence which neither want to break.

"Hey Shizu-chan." Izaya decided to speak after a few minutes.

"Hmm?" Shizuo grunted a response.

Izaya gulped, feeling his heart beat faster. "Do you like me?"

"I guess, you're not annoying anymore so it's fine." Shizuo said, still not looking towards Izaya. It's not like he didn't want to, but he knew if he looked at Izaya, he'd want to bring him in close for a hug and never let him go.

"I mean, do you like-like me." Izaya stared at the ground, facing Shizuo now.

"Huh?" now Shizuo looked towards Izaya, wondering where he was going with this.

Sighing, Izaya looked Shizuo in the eye; if he didn't spell it out then Shizuo would never get it. "What I mean is, do you love me?"

Shizuo froze.

Had it been obvious? Well, with that double kiss of course it'd be obvious. But he'd never expected to be asked straight out like this, he wasn't prepared enough to be asked so soon after discovering his feelings. Gulping, he clenched his pants tightly, "w-why?" his voice came out weak and forced.

"Because," Izaya let his gaze drop and quietly said, "I love you." Shizuo's eyes widen, just managing to hear. "I finally understood why I wanted you to come to my rescue at those times. Why I felt attached to you." a crimson blush appeared on his cheeks. "Why I only let you touch me," then his eyes locked with Shizuo's, "it's because I love you."

There was a pause between them, as if the world had stopped. After a while the silence was beginning to get to Izaya and he didn't like it. had the silence meant he was rejected? But how? didn't Shizuo love him just as he loved Shizuo? Or was Shinra playing with him and told Shizuo about his feeling towards him already? Thinking that made his heart ache and he wanted to cry.

Shizuo suddenly gripped Izaya's wrist and pulled him to his side of the carriage, sitting him in his lap and hugging him tightly. "I love you too." He whispered and resting his forehead against Izaya's shoulder. "I don't know when or for how long. But I love you to."

It felt like Izaya's heart had stopped, he couldn't believe what had just heard. Hearing those words in his head and actually hearing those words was so different as to what Izaya expected. He felt light and a bubbly feeling erupted from his stomach, filling his entire body as his arms wrapped around Shizuo's torso tightly and he buried his face in Shizuo collar bone, repeatedly whispering: "I love you, I love you." tears began streaming down his cheeks as he smiled. So Shinra wasn't lying and Shizuo didn't reject his feelings.

Shizuo pulled back to look at Izaya, cupping his cheeks and wiping the tears away with his thumb before kissing him again. Izaya relaxed and gripped Shizuo's shirt even more as he kissed back. He felt a tongue brush against his teeth which made him blush and slowly open his mouth to allow Shizuo to slip his tongue inside.

Izaya gasped as Shizuo began to explore his mouth then play with his tongue. Even though they had already kissed, that kiss was only because Izaya wanted to hold the blonde closer to him, to make sure that it wasn't a dream and to see if he was actually saved.

He let Shizuo's hands sink to his lower back, pulling him in closer and he moaned into the kiss. Shizuo flicked his tongue against Izaya's and made him shudder and moan again. They broke the kiss a string of saliva attached to their bottom lips which broke as they panted for breath.

Shizuo then began to place gentle kisses along Izaya's neck, he felt Izaya's sharp intake of breath and every pant as the soft kisses continued. A moan escaped Izaya's mouth as he ran both hands through Shizuo's hair, bringing him in closer. The carriage was getting hotter and the air was heavy with panting breathes, they could both feel the other's growing arousal against their own which only made them hotter in the cooling night air. They could tell what the other wanted and it was the same thing that they wanted. The same feeling circled around inside them that needed to come out.

A growing need for the other.

Izaya could tell Shizuo was struggling not to lose himself as he felt his hand trying to slip underneath his shirt. But it was also hard for him as well since he too was trying to slip his hand through the collar of Shizuo's shirt to feel the muscle beneath it.

After the ride had ended and Shizuo instantly grabbed Izaya's hand, they both marched out of the amusement park, zipping in and out of the crowd, Izaya still clutching the plushies and still holding Shizuo's hand as they headed home.

Once the door was opened, Shizuo let Izaya in first and walked in after, closing the door behind him and locking it. When he turned back, Izaya was on him again, lips pressing against Shizuo's and backing him up against the door, tongue already slipped past his teeth and arms wrapped around his neck in a fevered kiss.

His arms circled around Izaya's waist, drawing him closer. Legs tangled with legs, hips pressed to hips, chests heaving in time with the other. Shizuo's hand began to drift down, reaching the hem of Izaya's pants but continued to cupping his ass, groping it lightly.

Izaya moaned into the kiss when to he felt it and pulled back. Half lidded eyes looking up at Shizuo wantonly and panting slightly. "S-Shizu-chan." He grinded against Shizuo's groin, feeling his pants had grown extremely tight.

Shizuo saw the look in Izaya's eyes that told him what Izaya wanted. He reached down and lifted him in the air; Izaya instantly wrapped his legs around Shizuo's waist and hold on tighter as they headed towards the bedroom.

Shizuo gently placed Izaya on the bed; he kissed Izaya once more which made him settle deeper into the mattress. Shizuo pulled back, hands either side of Izaya's head as he was spread out, they locked gazes. "Are you sure?"

"If I wasn't, then we wouldn't be doing this." Izaya smiled, resting his arms around Shizuo's neck. He saw the concern in the blonde's eyes which he knew what he was thinking. "It's fine Shizu-chan. I won't run away," He leaned up and placed a kiss on Shizuo's lips. How could he run away from the man that he loved? Who protected him and made him feel safe?

"Ok, but if something goes wrong or you want to stop, tell me instantly, got it?" Shizuo's expression hardened and Izaya nodded, falling back on the bed and allow Shizuo to kiss his neck again.

Izaya pulled him in closer, turning his head slightly and exposing more of his neck to him and wrapped his legs around Shizuo's waist. He was enjoying the feeling of Shizuo's kisses; they were gentle and not demanding even though he knew that he was holding himself way back as to not scare him. Izaya smiled at the kindness but this was so slow and anticlimactic—

Shizuo's hand slipped under Izaya's shirt, grazing over the pale skin and drawing small circles on his torso before moving up to his chest. He shuddered at the warm touch but squeaked when Shizuo's hand touch his nipple.

He sat back and pulled Izaya's shirt off him, tossing it to the ground and went back to kissing his neck again, this time he suck on his collar bone and bit down causing Izaya to open his mouth and tug Shizuo's hair in surprise. Shizuo then began to lick at the bite mark and suck until there was a dark mark.

Izaya pushed Shizuo up. To which Shizuo giving a confused look, a little worried that something might be wrong, but his thought was quickly answered with Izaya fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. He tried to help but Izaya swatted his hands away and yanked both his black vest and white button up off, throwing it to the floor and running his hands over the tone abdomen and broad chest. Shizuo's upper body was toned and harden with muscle that Izaya couldn't help but blush at.

Shizuo watched as Izaya explored his torso and that touch continued to his arms as they adventured. Shizuo slowly leaned in and kissed his forehead, cheeks, nose, his lips. But he didn't stop, he continued down to his jaw line, his neck making more dark markings to which Izaya moaned at, to his chest. Hands travelled up and down Izaya's body and then that touch grazed his nipples, circling and rubbing the perked nubs with his thumbs.

Izaya began to squirm under him, mewling at the feeling. It felt good, really good. Nothing like he had experienced with those other guys, or _him._ When they touched him, it was nothing more than severe grabbing and bruising, Shizuo's touches were gentle but needy, a feeling that sent shivers throughout his body and wanting more.

This felt incredible.

Shizuo's mouth took over the left nipple and let his free hand travel down to Izaya's belt, unbuckling it and looking up at Izaya, silently asking permission. He gave a nod, the back of his hand covering his mouth to try and muffle the sounds.

With that, Shizuo slowly pulled down the zipper of Izaya's jeans and was surprised when Izaya lifted his hips. It only surprised him more because after all Izaya has been through, he still wanted to do this. Wasn't he afraid?

"Shizu-chan. Take them off, it's hot and it annoying!" Izaya complained. He wasn't lying; his pants had become especially tight from all Shizuo's foreplay. It was beginning to annoy him because his jeans could stretch and he couldn't find relief as he wanted to enjoy more of Shizuo's touching.

Whatever doubt Shizuo had had left him after Izaya had said that. The pants came off along with the underwear. And now Shizuo gazed at the complete naked form before him. Eyes running over every detail, his skin looked so pale yet delicious. The erection Izaya had only made him look even sexier with the lewd expression Izaya was giving him. He cursed in thought as his own pants were beginning to become too tight and really unnecessary. But he didn't remove them yet.

Izaya blushed bright red as he noticed Shizuo staring at his obvious erection. It had been painful in his pants but when released, he felt relief. But it twitched with need as Shizuo stared. Distracted with the feeling, he hadn't realised that Shizuo bent down and wrapped his fingers around it, already pumping hard. He flinched at it but heat shot through him and his hand instantly went to Shizuo's hair as he took it in his mouth and began sucking.

"Ah…haa…S-Shizu-chan," Izaya could get the feeling out of him; it just felt too damn good. Shizuo felt Izaya arch upwards, fitting more of him in his mouth and he couldn't help but chuckle thinking it was cute. The vibrations from Shizuo's throat sent shivers through Izaya's body as his moans continued.

Then Shizuo began to bob his head, licking up the sides and then returned to sucking the head hard, flicking his tongue against the slit already tasting the salty pre-cum. Izaya couldn't handle much more and came in his mouth surprising Shizuo, who swallowed and sat up gazing down at Izaya who panted but smirked.

"My turn!" he announced, gabbing Shizuo's arm and pulling him down on the bed and climbing on top of him.

"Hey Izaya! You don't have to—" Shizuo cut himself off hearing the sound of his beat buckle being undone and the zipper pulling down.

"No way, I have to repay Shizu-chan." Izaya smirked, reaching into Shizuo's boxers and pulling out the enlarged member, he felt better now that that thing was out but slightly embarrassed that Izaya pulled it from its restrains and touched it. "Besides, I don't think you like being kept in." he ran his hand up and down it, pumping it. "In any case, your technique is sloppy so let me teach you."

Shizuo allowed him, but only this once. Izaya licked up the side and took the tip in his mouth, sucking before bobbing his head, trying to fit the entire length in his mouth but only managing half, so he settled with stroking the base and switching between bobbing and sucking. Then taking his mouth away to run his hand up and down the length a few times before his mouth was on it again, sucking and licking. He heard Shizuo moan out a couple of times and felt a hand run through his hair. That grip tightened when Izaya licked the slit and put in hard suction. Shizuo had wondered where this man had learnt how to do all of this, but he was secretly taking notes for next time so it would be easier to pleasure Izaya. He couldn't handle it anymore and he came in Izaya's mouth.

Izaya sat up smiling, swallowing and licking his lips before putting three fingers in his mouth, soaking them in saliva and bringing them to his rear where he inserted a finger, then a second, going in and out, stretching him good until he added in a third which he began to scissor himself.

Shizuo had finally snapped out of his high and noticed what Izaya was doing, he blushed when he saw Izaya staring at him with a lust filled gaze as he fingered himself, moaning quietly. The sight was intoxicating, never had Shizuo expected him to look so sexy in his life. Just watching was enough to make Shizuo even harder than before.

Izaya pulled out his fingers and grabbed Shizuo's member, positioning it beneath his entrance while his other hand went to Shizuo's shoulder. Shizuo rested both hands at Izaya's hips to steady him. "Since I know you won't take the first step, I will." He sat down slowly, Shizuo felt his cock slip past the tight ring of muscle and slip inside. He bit his lip, wanting to speed things along but he knew he couldn't rush it. He noticed Izaya winced and finger nails dig into his shoulder. "Fuck, I knew you were big, but I didn't think you were this big." Izaya panted in pain, letting a few tears escape.

"S-sorry," Shizuo felt Izaya sit completely on his lap. He didn't want to move just yet and allowed Izaya to lead, after all, this was his first time at sex and he was pretty sure Izaya knew what he was doing.

It was a while before Izaya said anything. All he did was clutch Shizuo tightly and concentrate on breathing. While Izaya was adjusting, Shizuo began to stroke his hair and kiss his neck again; he liked the taste of him. He then moved to cup his cheeks, kissing away the tears which helped relaxed Izaya as he felt.

"Ok, I'm moving," Izaya announced. He placed his hands on Shizuo's stomach while Shizuo gently gripped Izaya's hips, keeping him balanced. Slowly, Izaya began to move, up and down going in and out. at first it felt weird and Shizuo wasn't quite sure how to act. But he wasn't complaining as Izaya seemed to enjoy the movements.

Once he was comfortable, he began to get faster, letting moans escape which Shizuo liked the sounds of. They were cute, and the sexy expression sprawled across Izaya's cheeks suited him well and made him all the more tempting.

Izaya switched position so Shizuo was on top of him again. "You try moving. And be gentle with me, ok?" he smiled.

Shizuo gulped, he was a little nervous about this, but the expression Izaya shown told him that it was ok. So he thrusted in going at a steady pace because he didn't want to hurt him. Izaya breath hitched and covered his mouth, muffling his gasps and moans at Shizuo's gentle pace. Even though he was enjoying it and it felt good for a change, it was a lot better than having someone ram into him without mercy. But he wanted more.

"faster," Izaya breathed and Shizuo complied, thrusting in a little faster. Izaya's legs spread wider and his arms circled around Shizuo's torso, bringing him closer to whisper in his ear, "deeper!" Not only did he dive in deeper but his pace had quickened again, his breath was coming out in pants.

"Ah…nngh, uh!" was all Shizuo could hear in his ear and those moans were what drove him to go faster, changing his angle until he hit a certain spot. "There!" Izaya threw his head back as Shizuo hit his prostate. Not really understanding, Shizuo began thrusting in that particular spot and noticed Izaya's moans were becoming louder and more lewd. He began to shudder and his mouth hung open, letting drawl flow down his chin. Fingernails dragged down Shizuo's back, slicing the skin and letting blood flow. He hissed as he felt the sting but that pain was turned into pleasure from feeling Izaya clench around his member, grunting at the tightness.

"so go~od, Shizu-ch-Ah!" Izaya could barely form sentences, withering in pleasure from each thrust. "More! Ah! Nn! Mn!"

Shizuo was now thrusting in at blinding speed, all restraints abandoned and Izaya gave into that pleasure, wrapping his legs around Shizuo's waist and pulling him in deeper. Even though it was fast and Shizuo had always managed to hit that one spot, he was gentle about it, to which Izaya found endearing.

"Ah! Shizu-! C-cumming!" Izaya managed to moan out. "Ah! Shi-Uh!"

"Izaya," Shizuo whispered, sending shivers down the raven's spine.

"SHIZUO!" Izaya's nail dug into Shizuo's back, raking down as he came, spilling his seed between the both of them. Shizuo came not long after, feeling Izaya clench down on him tighter than before, filling him up before collapsing onto the smaller, both panting more than ever.

Izaya mewled when he felt Shizuo pulled out and laid beside him, strong arms surrounded him, drawing him in close and planting a kiss on his forehead. Izaya snuggled onto the hold, it felt safe and warm. "I love you," he heard Shizuo whisper before he heard quiet snoring.

He felt himself blush and buried his face in the crook of Shizuo's neck. "I love you to, Shizu-chan." Sleep overcame him quickly as the heat coming from Shizuo sent him into a dream land where he was happy to spend the time there, knowing that Shizuo would be there with him from now on to keep him safe and sound, loving him all the same.

… **..**

 **Sorry about the wait, hope this chapter makes up for it. I've been procrastinating and at times I was really writing but I finally managed to finish. Give me a review of what you think, it helps me out a lot and please forgive the smut, it was a first attempt and I probably might improve as I continue this story.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks you guys for the reviews, it makes me extremely happy that I did a good job on it. Sorry about the lateness-ish.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners**

…

Izaya had woken from the late morning sun drifting through the sliver in the curtains. Groaning, he turned over and snuggled into the broad chest. He heard a low chuckle and felt a hand run through his hair. He looked up to see browns eyes and a smile staring back at him.

"Morning," Shizuo whispered before planting a kiss on Izaya's forehead, then nuzzled his hair. "Sleep well?"

Izaya blinked at the question. Despite what they did the previous night, he did sleep well, no aching body, no horrible nightmares, no nothing, it was a restful sleep. "Yeah, and you?"

"Alright I guess," he shrugged.

"That's good," Izaya smiled. He sat up slowly and felt pain shot through his hips and lower back. Of course his body would start hurting now. He winced and began rubbing the aching parts.

Shizuo sat up, a concern look in his eyes. "You ok?"

"Yeah, it doesn't hurt all that much," Izaya sent him a reassuring smile. "Not as much as when those guys did it and—"

Shizuo had lifted Izaya up and stood; in surprise Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck to keep him secure and closed his mouth. "Don't talk about that ever again; let's just forget about all that ok?"

Izaya chuckled with a smile. "Sorry, I'll try to forget about it," he rested his head on Shizuo's shoulder as he took him into the bathroom to get cleaned up.

"Do you need a hand?" Shizuo asked slowly.

"No, I should be ok," Izaya smile.

"Alright, I'll be outside if you need anything,"

Izaya heard the door quietly close and he sighed. The cleaning process was annoying and he really didn't want Shizuo to know about it. Surprisingly, Izaya didn't hurt as much as he thought it did, guess Shizuo's gentleness was the cause of it, it made him smile.

After taking a shower and ridding himself of cum and dirt, Izaya stepped out and headed towards the bedroom where he pulled on Shizuo's shirt, which was still on the ground. He walked back out and found Shizuo in the kitchen making breakfast, which were pancakes.

But Izaya gasped when he noticed Shizuo in his pants and nothing else, he saw the long claw marks running down Shizuo's back and felt a little proud that he managed to put marks on him. And these ones were semi-permanent as he saw that they were already healing.

As Shizuo placed the cooked pancakes down on a plate, he felt arms circle around his torso and he smiled. "All done?" he asked.

"Yep," Izaya began to trace over the well-toned torso of Shizuo. The touch almost made Shizuo giggle at the ticklishness.

"Good, breakfast is almost ready." He said.

Izaya responded with a tight hug and headed towards the table. They ate breakfast in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward, it was relaxing and peaceful, just with a little love.

After breakfast was finished, Izaya helped Shizuo with the dishes, even though Shizuo said that he should rest, he still helped. The whole time they spent taking sneak peeks at each other, smiling the whole way through. They finished up and headed towards the couch where Izaya cuddled in Shizuo's lap and Shizuo turned on the TV, both watching the morning news.

"Hey Shizu-chan," Izaya spoke after a few minutes.

"Yeah?" Shizuo pressed Izaya closer to him.

"What will people think about us dating?" he asked.

He shrugged. "Don't know."

"Well, it's just that. People might look at us funny when we go outside," Izaya placed his hand atop of Shizuo's, lacing their fingers together.

"So, people are already used to seeing us together, what's the difference if we're just holding hands or hugging or kissing?" Shizuo gripped his hand tighter making Izaya blush.

"Yeah," he smiled and snuggled closer to Shizuo's chest. "But let's not tell everyone just yet, I don't want other people to know about us as soon as we started dating."

Shizuo smiled, "fine by me."

…..

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya was in bed awaiting Shizuo's arrival.

"Yeah?" Shizuo spat in the sink, just finishing brushing his teeth. He rinsed his mouth out.

"Aren't you finished yet?" he whined.

Shizuo walked into the bedroom with a smile. "Am now," he crawled under the blankets and gave Izaya a kiss before pulling him in close to his chest. But Izaya struggled away.

"Shizu-chan, let's do it again!" he smiled, propping himself on his elbows, chin resting on open palms.

"Huh?" Shizuo blushed slightly and gave him a funny look. "You want to do it again?"

Izaya nodded, tracing a finger over Shizuo's chest, "and this time, Shizu-chan has to lead." Izaya's finger tracing then started to go lower, seeping under the blankets resting over Shizuo's stomach.

"But won't it hurt?" Shizuo wondered, "I mean, why do you want to do it again?"

"Because," Izaya cupped Shizuo clothed member through his boxers, Shizuo instant jerked at the sudden touch and grabbed Izaya's wrist gently. "I'm horny and Shizuo is really gentle. So I want to do it again."

Shizuo felt himself blush deep red, with Izaya groping him through his boxer's, he couldn't help but get aroused himself. He took his hand away from Izaya's. "Alright, but same rules as before, if you want to stop, we stop."

Izaya smirked, "but we won't," he whispered as he crawled in between Shizuo's legs, pulling the member from his boxers and began stroking. Shizuo felt himself harden from the touch and looked down to see Izaya licking up his cock, rubbing the tip with his thumb.

Izaya then took the member in his mouth and felt it grow when he began sucking, he gave a chuckle which sent shivers up Shizuo's spine. Izaya began to bob his head and suck harder than before, Shizuo moaned at the feeling, running a hand through Izaya's hair. Izaya smirked when Shizuo began tugging, but he felt arms snake around his torso, lifting him up and sitting him on Shizuo's stomach. He felt lips press against his and moaned when a tongue slipped into his mouth tasting everything.

"S-Shizu-ch-AH!" Izaya gasped when he felt a hand squeeze his ass. Shizuo began kissing his neck as he slid a hand underneath Izaya's pull-over, running his fingers along his side before reaching up and playing with a nipple, rolling it around with his thumb. Izaya moaned at the touch, be began grinding against Shizuo's hips earning himself a moan.

Shizuo continued to suck at Izaya's neck, leaving a mark before moving onto another place and creating another mark. He then sat Izaya up, pulling off his top and toss it to the ground before placing his mouth over one of his nipples, sucking and rolling the bud around with his tongue, earning delighted mewls from Izaya.

"Ah…nnhg…ha!" Izaya ran his fingers through Shizuo's hair as Shizuo continued to suck. "S-Shizu-chan!" he moaned out, "It's hot!"

Shizuo did waste any time in taking Izaya's shorts and underwear off, freeing him of all clothing. He laid back down on top of Shizuo who held three fingers up to Izaya's mouth, which he took them inside coating them in a nice layer of saliva. But while Izaya was sucking his fingers, Shizuo gripped Izaya's erection and began pumping it, earning louder moans and gasps.

He took his hands away and Izaya laid down on Shizuo's stomach again. "Ready?" Shizuo asked as his hand hovered over Izaya's entrance.

"Of course," he smiled, wrapping his arms around Shizuo's neck.

Slowly, Shizuo spread Izaya's ass with his dry hand and pushed in a finger, he remembered this from last night when Izaya was doing this to himself. Then he started thrusting and added another one. Izaya began to wither and pant as a third was pushed in, stretching his tight hole. Izaya's moaning was all Shizuo could hear as he quickened his pace, stretching him as far as he'll go.

Izaya groaned as Shizuo took his fingers away. But then let out a surprised yelp when Shizuo changed their positions. Izaya was on all fours with Shizuo behind him. Shizuo then spread his ass once more and Izaya felt Shizuo's member poke at his hole. He wanted it now, it was teasing him to wait this long. But Shizuo was hesitating, almost asking permission before anything happened.

"Put it in!" Izaya complained.

"Alright." Slowly, Shizuo began to push inside.

Izaya gripped the pillow in front of him, burying his face into it and muffling his pained gasps when the head was in, then the rest. He felt Shizuo completely sheathed inside him and now all that was needed was him to adjust to Shizuo's size again.

"You ok?" he heard Shizuo ask.

Izaya nodded, taking in deep breathes as he tried to relax. Despite last night, his body had recovered quickly so doing it now was a little hard. But his body had gotten used to Shizuo's size quicker than last night which was good.

"You can move now," he said.

"Right," Shizuo started to move but slowly, thrust in and trying to find that spot that made Izaya moan out even loader.

"Ah…uh…Shizu-ah!" Izaya tried to hide his voice in the pillow, but sounds kept slipping out and finding their way to Shizuo who smiled. Shizuo slowly began to get faster when Izaya started making more noises.

Then Shizuo hit the stop.

"There!" Izaya arched his back and flung his head back. "Hit there!"

Shizuo didn't need to be told twice, he began aiming for that spot and sped up his pace again. Thrusting in deeper and causing Izaya to moan out louder.

"Ah! Ha! Yes! Ha! So good~!" Izaya began to meet Shizuo's thrusts to tell him to go faster, which he did. Now thrusting in at lightning speed, Izaya's moans escalated. Then he felt a hand grip his own member and stroking it in time with the each thrust. "S-Shi-ah! C-cumming! I'm cumming!"

Hot white liquid splashed all over Shizuo's hand, Shizuo felt Izaya clench around his own member and his own orgasm erupted inside of Izaya. Shizuo pulled out and collapsed onto the bed beside Izaya. They were both panting as Shizuo pulled Izaya in close.

"Hey Shizu-chan." Izaya started once he finally caught his breathe.

"Yeah?" Shizuo looked down at him.

"We should do this every night." He smiled.

"I don't know about every night. But maybe every second night. I don't want to be too hard on you." Shizuo gave Izaya a tight hug.

"But Shizu-chan is gentle. And it's really good with you." Izaya nuzzled into Shizuo's neck. "But I guess Shizu-chan might be right. Ok, every second night then." he kissed Shizuo on the cheek. "Love you~!"

"I love you to." Shizuo kissed his forehead before they snuggled in closer together.

….

—one month later—

Celty was the first to find about them when she caught up with Shizuo during the second week of dating due to him walking around without a shirt on and her seeing the newly made claw markings still glistening with blood, which Shizuo had only just discovered himself. She congratulated them and they thanked her, and Izaya told her not to tell anyone about it. Then Shinra came to them with a smile, they instantly knew he knew about them because he went onto say 'Celty has told me something interesting,' when he visited them to check how things were going. Kadota didn't mind them as he was the third person to find out, it was better than them being enemies now and a whole lot better then what they used to be.

And news slowly began to spread.

But no one made a move to kidnap Izaya when they saw him out on the street in fear they might have to deal with a very enraged Shizuo. But more than that, the city was just a little more at peace.

Shizuo was walking behind Tom off on to visit another client, it hasn't been a busy day, but enough to keep them occupied.

Suddenly, a knife whisked past Shizuo head. He whipped around thinking Izaya but instead found a man with black hair and dark eyes glaring at him. He wore a black jacket zipped up with black jeans. He looked older then Shizuo, possibly in his late thirties or early forties.

"So, you must be Shizuo Heiwajima, correct?" the man sauntered towards him.

"Who's asking," Shizuo glared at him. He really didn't like this man. There was something about him the reminded him way too much of how Izaya used to act, and that was pissing him off.

"My name is Tetsuya Sudo. Izaya's one and only true love." He seethed with a teasing smirk. The comment made Shizuo's eye brow twitch in annoyance. "And I will not allow someone like you to take him away from me."

Shizuo gritted his teeth and growled. Hearing the sound, Tom turned around and placed a hand on Shizuo's shoulder. "Hey Shizuo, don't worry about this guy. Let's just go."

But Shizuo shrugged off his hand and marched towards this new comer.

"Oh boy," Tom sighed. "Here we go."

"I'll only leave you with a warning, Shizuo Heiwajima." Tetsuya glared. "I want you to stay away from Izaya, he's mine," he whipped out a knife, pointing it towards Shizuo who stopped. "Got it? I will not allow some beast to march into his life and take him from me. He belongs to me and me alone, no one else is allowed to have him."

"Shut up!" Shizuo growled. "Who do you think you are huh? Just because you like someone, doesn't make them yours forever."

"And by your logic, wouldn't he not be yours as well?" Tetsuya remained unfazed by Shizuo's anger, which was steadily rising. "You idiot, Izaya always has and always will belong to me and me alone. And you can't change that because we are true lovers, born to be with one another."

Shizuo's anger peeked and he reached for the closest sign post, ripping it from the ground and swinging it towards tetsuya, who leapt back tossing three knife blades towards Shizuo. He dodged all three and rushed towards him, swinging the sign post again.

A huge dust cloud erupted and through that dust ran Tetsuya, tossing knife blades behind him towards Shizuo, who slipped past each one, gripping sign post after sign post and hurtling them in the hopes of hitting Tetsuya with no such luck.

This guy reminded Shizuo too much of Izaya, and he didn't like it. Who exactly was this guy and why did he want Izaya? But he also seemed to know Izaya, not very well, but he did know Izaya which made Shizuo wonder what happened in Izaya's past.

"Die Shizuo!" Tetsuya ran towards Shizuo, knife in hand and he leapt at him. Slashing the knife across Shizuo's cheek who he dodged to the side. "Dammit." He cursed and whipped around, only to get a fist slammed into his face.

Tetsuya was sent flying across the street, crashing into a wall of a shop and falling to the ground, groaning in pain. Shizuo growled, panting as he marched across the street. He gripped Tetsuya's jacket, lifting him up and slamming him against the wall.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you now?" Shizuo growled.

"Do you want to know about Izaya's past? Who his previous lover was?" Tetsuya smirked, choking a little. "What he fears, what he likes, what he hates. You know nothing about his past. You know nothing."

"Shut up!" Shizuo roared, swinging him around before launching him into the sky, he then crashed on the other side of the street. He stumbled a bit, still carrying that annoying smirk which he loathed.

"You'll never have him, I won't allow it." he said before collapsing.

Shizuo stuffed both hands into his pockets and marched down the street, he texted Tom that he was going home for the day to which Tom agreed with it. But now questions were starting to arise with this.

Who was this man? And why did he want Izaya?"

…

"Welcome back Shizu-chan!" Izaya had thrown his arms around Shizuo's neck as soon as he walked through the door.

"I'm home." He smiled, wrapping his arms around Izaya's torso and kissing him.

"Why are you home so early? Did something happen?" Izaya said between kisses.

"sort of," he pulled Izaya off him and walked inside, hand holding Izaya's as he lead them to the couch. "There's something I want to ask you."

"What is it?" Izaya smiled.

"Who's Tetsuya Sudo?"

… **..**

 **Sorry about the late update, I was away for the weekend and my internet is playing up again. But here's another chapter and another cliff hanger, who doesn't love a cliff hanger huh?**

 **Anyway, give a review of what you think. They make me really happy.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Back with another chapter!**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners.**

… **.**

"Who's Tetsuya Sudo?"

The question hung in the air heavily; Izaya froze upon hearing the name. He slowly turned to look at Shizuo, with wide and confused eyes. "H-how do you know that name?"

Shizuo studied Izaya's expressions closely; he seemed a little on edge about the name, which he didn't like. "I met him today," he answered simply.

Izaya's breathe hitched, his body slightly trembling.

"I'm guessing you know that guy?" Shizuo asked, seeing Izaya's actions, over the past time they've spent together, Shizuo had become a master at reading Izaya through his actions. So he knew that Izaya knew whoever this guy is. But why was he so scared?

Izaya bowed his head, not wanting to look up and meet Shizuo's gaze. "I don't want to talk about it," he whispered slowly, trying to keep the memory of a mangled boy covered in his own blood from his mind. He couldn't bear it if he pictured Shizuo like that. Cold, distorted body covered in brilliant red blood. Eyes staring at nothing and his expression showing horror and seemingly unbearable pain even though he was long gone.

Izaya's eyes widen at the horrifying image and he raced out of the room, straight towards the bedroom and locking himself in there.

"Izaya!" Shizuo shouted, chasing after him with no luck, he sighed when he reached the closed bedroom door and heard silent sobbing. It hurt him to hear Izaya cry, but it hurt him even more because he couldn't be on the other side of this door, comforting him.

Instead, he leaned against the door and slowly slid down, sitting on the floor.

"Tell me what's wrong Izaya, I won't get mad, ok?" Shizuo said. "You can trust me with these sorts of things. So open the door, I hate seeing you cry like this. It hurts me more when you won't talk to me about it because I don't know what's making you upset. Open the door please."

Silence.

Hearing no response he stood up, scratching his head. One thing he knew was that whoever this Tetsuya Sudo is; he had a history with Izaya. What kind of history, he didn't know. But it was obviously bad. Shizuo waited a little, staring at the door hoping that Izaya will open it, but no such luck.

Sighing, he pulled his phone out and sat down on the couch, dialling up Shinra's number and awaited the receiver to pick up, which didn't take long.

"Hello Shizuo, you don't usually call. How's Izaya's body holding up? You haven't been doing—"

"Who's Tetsuya Sudo?" Shizuo cut him off, not wanting to explain too much of their sex life.

"Who?" Shinra said.

"Tetsuya Sudo, who is he?" Shizuo clarified, although it was unusual for Shinra to question him. But the reason why he called Shinra was because he and Izaya went to the same middle school so he was thinking that Izaya might of told him about this guy or at least mentioned it.

"I'm sorry Shizuo; I don't know who you're talking about." Shinra's tone suggested he wasn't lying.

"Never mind then, see ya," he hung up before Shinra could reply and placed his phone on the small table in front of him, pinching the bridge of his nose in confusion and frustration. Trying not to think about it too much as it will only give him another headache, he turned on the TV and the news was on.

Within ten minutes Izaya came out again, eyes red and still sniffling, Shizuo stood up and walked towards him, wrapping his arms around Izaya and holding him close. "It's ok," he whispered. "It's ok."

"I'm sorry," Izaya circled his arms around Shizuo's torso. "I didn't mean to run; your question just caught me off guard." He was taking in deep breathes.

"It's ok." Shizuo began to sooth his hair, "I didn't know."

In truth, he didn't know anything about what Izaya used to be like in his past. So of course he didn't know. That guy was right, he didn't know Izaya truly. But he didn't care, as long as they were together, he'd find out little by little, all of the things that Izaya likes and dislikes, his wants and needs, every little quirk and all down to the finest detail. He'll learn them all no matter how long it takes.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya had to tell him, if he didn't it might end badly for him.

"Yeah?" Shizuo replied softly, not wanting to startle him.

"Tetsuya Sudo used to be my babysitter." Izaya pulled back, taking Shizuo's hand and leading him to the couch where he gestured for Shizuo to sit, which he complied and allowed Izaya to slide into his lap where he circled his arms around Izaya small body.

Babysitter huh? Shizuo raised an eye brow at the comment. He was expecting a little more from what Tetsuya was spilling earlier. But he waited for Izaya to continue.

"When I was growing up, both my parents would usually go out on business trips and usually left me at my grandparents place. But they would offend call in a babysitter to look after me and keep me occupied when they couldn't, that babysitter was Tetsuya. It was fine at first, nothing ever happened and he was actually quite good. But after a while, he began to call my grandparents saying he wanted to play with me and they would let him come over every day. He taught me everything I know now like how to throw a knife and human observation and I found it interesting and fun."

Well that answered why Izaya was interested in humans and was good at knife throwing, Shizuo had been wondering where he got that from, and now he knew.

"But then he began to walk me to school and then he'd walk me back home after, he'd talk about his day and I'd tell him about mine. I found nothing strange about it, and neither did my parents or grandparents because they thought it was safer if I had someone walk me to and from school, just in case something bad happened to me and I needed someone to protect me."

Shizuo nodded nothing wrong there.

"Then he started asking personal questions like date of birth, blood type, what I like and dislike. I thought it was to get to know me a little more but he never told me anything about himself, I found it strange now but me being a kid, I didn't really see it as anything. But then he began to follow me around the school during lunch."

Now it was starting to get a little creepy.

"The kids around me found it weird, but afterwards, he'd ask more questions, this time about the people who I hang around with and even who I love. I told him my friends, but I didn't tell him who I loved until he threatened me."

"You loved someone?" Shizuo asked. Now this he didn't expect.

"Y-yeah," he nodded. "But when I told him about the person and why I loved him. But I don't think Tetsuya liked it when I talked about other people that I love other than family, so to make things clear, Tetsuya killed him right in front of me. I was so scared because I hadn't witness something like that ever, not even on TV." Izaya cuddled in closer to Shizuo, who held him a little more protectively, rubbing circles on his back. He could feel Izaya shaking. "There was so much blood," even his voice trembled. "He gave me a warning after that: _if you ever love a single person. Make it me and no one else. Because if I catch you with someone else, I'll kill them. So instead, settle for the entire human race, love all of humanity. That way you love everyone yet no one_. I remember his words clearly even now. Since then I've avoiding loving a single person and instead loved everyone equally."

Now he understood why he never had a girlfriend during high school or even now. It's because he feared what might happen to the person he loved most. So instead he loved everyone equally yet nobody so he didn't have to worry about having someone killed. And because of that logic he became the way it is now. Shizuo grimaced at the thought.

"Even now, I'm afraid because I might lose you." Izaya clutched Shizuo's shirt a little tighter. "I don't know what might happen. But I don't want you to go away or leave me."

Shizuo smiled, kissing his forehead. "I'm not going anywhere." He moved his hand up and began stroking Izaya's shoulder.

"That's the thing; I don't know when he's going to strike or how he's going to do it. He reminds me of you because I can never predict his actions. Like now, when you asked me about him."

"Is that a problem?"

"No, it's just that, the last I heard of Tetsuya Sudo was that he died in a car accident seven years ago. Hearing his name now, kind of scared me. But, how did you meet him exactly?"

"Well, more like he came out and met me. He even challenged me." Shizuo answered.

Izaya sighed, "This isn't good. It means he knows about us. And then he'll either kill you or take me away or both." He curled up closer, "I don't want any of those."

"Well I'd like to see him try," Shizuo huffed. "You've spent how long trying to kill me with no luck? I've been hit with a truck twice, smashed over the head god knows how many times, not to mention stabbed heaps of times and even shot. What else is there that he can kill me with?"

Izaya giggled, "I guess you're right. But still, I don't want you to die." He wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck, holding him closer just as Shizuo did.

"Don't worry, I won't."

Later that night, Shizuo locked all the doors and windows, Izaya telling him to make sure that no one will break them or get in. after everything was locked and Izaya checking to make sure that they were secured, they both went to bed.

Izaya buried his face into Shizuo's bare chest while Shizuo held him close, in an almost protective manner which he hadn't seen before. But he was sure the Shizuo was trying to make it clear to him that nothing was going to tear them apart.

He just hoped that everything will be ok

… **.**

 **Alright, this is the second last chapter before the story is actually finished. So the next chapter I put out will be the last chapter.**

 **So give a review of what you think**

 **Until the final chapter.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry it took a while for this chapter to come out, I was helping my aunt move and had to babysit her children, which were a toddler and a baby, and I managed to get sick. But fear not, the final chapter is here.**

 **Warning:** yaoi and rape

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to their respectful owners**

… **..**

"What are we going to do?" Izaya sighed; he watched Shizuo getting ready for work from the bed, covers pulled up over his legs as he rested crossed arms on his knees, sitting his chin on his arms. He had been wondering what was going to happen ever since yesterday.

"Do you know where my bow tie is?" Shizuo turned around.

"Shizuo! This is a serious matter here. Things could get dicey and you're worried about your stupid bow tie!" Izaya snapped. He was annoyed at the fact that Shizuo was so light minded about the severity of the situation. It was almost as if he didn't care what happened to either of them. But then again, Izaya was the only one who know was Tetsuya was capable of so it would make sense that Shizuo didn't really take it seriously.

"Relax ok, it's not that I'm not serious about this either," Shizuo scratched the back of his head, but then his expression turned into one of fury. "It's just that I'm so pissed off to the point where I'm thinking about what I'm going to do to this jackass once I find him. This time I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead for sure," he growled out, pounding his fist into his open palm.

"Oh," Izaya nodded with understanding, not being phased by the seeping amounts of rage that were coming from Shizuo. So that's why he's eager to go to work today. "It's in the bathroom where you left it."

"Oh thanks," Shizuo had calmed down and walked out of the bedroom.

Izaya smiled, sometimes he forgot about how abnormal Shizuo is. It made him a little giddy that Shizuo was protecting him, and in such a possessive manner, he had no idea that Shizuo could be like this when he loved someone. If had known sooner, things would have been different and he'd be in the blondes arms a very long time ago.

"Hey Izaya!" Shizuo called from the living room.

Izaya stood and walked out, "yeah?"

Shizuo was fiddling with his bow tie, but having a little difficulty with fingers trembling in rage, even though his expression was completely calm apart from his narrowed brows and eyes full of concentration. "Do you mind if I kill your former babysitter?"

"Not really." Izaya shrugged and watched Shizuo growl, he chuckled and walked towards him. "Here, let me help." Izaya fixed Shizuo's bow tie and smiled, straightening it up. "There we go, all done." He was pleased at his handy work and he patted Shizuo's shoulders and rested his hands there.

Shizuo smiled and leaned in, kissing Izaya on the forehead. "I'll be back later ok?" Shizuo patted Izaya's head before turning towards the door. When he grasped the handle, he felt a tug at his arm and he was suddenly spun around, pushed against the door. Lips found their way to his and he stared at Izaya, who was kissing him.

Shizuo's eyes fluttered shut and he wrapped his arms around the small body that clung to his. He felt a tongue slip brush against his teeth and he opened his mouth more and his hands began to roam around Izaya's body as he let him play with his tongue.

Izaya moaned when Shizuo groped his ass and he pulled back a little breathless. "Don't do that, you'll make me hard and then you'll be late for work when you have to fix it." Izaya pouted, Shizuo smirked, giving one last squeeze before his hand travelled up to hold Izaya closer.

"I'll be ok. Alright?" Shizuo whispered in his ear. He knew why Izaya wanted that last kiss before he left. It was because he was worried about Shizuo mainly due to the fact that he knew next to nothing about Tetsuya, and it scared Izaya more than anything. "He won't kill me. Because I'll kill him before he even gets the chance to kill me."

"Be safe," Izaya hugged tighter around Shizuo's neck.

"I will." Shizuo kissed Izaya on the lips one last time before opening his front door and leaving.

For most of the day, Shizuo remained relatively calm, at least that's what it seemed like at first glance. But when Tom began to notice Shizuo muttering something, he grew very worried about whom he was angry at, because the whole time he had been whispering the same word over and over again: _'Kill.'_

Izaya stayed at home and kept himself busy. He was going through all the stuff that he has neglected over the week because he had been doing some of his own research about Tetsuya. At least this way he can keep his mind off things and try not to worry as much.

It seemed nothing of interest was going on in the world; in fact it was quiet, too quiet for his liking. He checked his chats and nothing unusual was going on at the moment. Which was a little boring but he had no desire to spice things up right now.

He jumped at hearing his phone vibrate but picked it up seeing Shizuo's number on it and relaxed a little.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya said. "Why are you calling me?"

"Because I can't find the damn bastard," Shizuo sounded frustrated, more so then usual. "So I was wondering if you heard or seen anything about it?"

"Sorry, nothing's come through." Izaya said, typing on his computer again.

"Dammit!" Shizuo growled. "Thanks anyways. I'll see ya later."

"Yeah, see ya." Izaya hung up and sighed, Shizuo's more determined to beat the crap out of Tetsuya then when he hated him. That much was evident even without seeing his face; just the tone of his voice gave it away. A seething hate that burned with rage and heated violence. And for once, Izaya feared Shizuo might overdo it and actually kill someone.

But then his phone vibrated again, he picked it up without looking thinking it was Shizuo again. "Shizu-chan, I haven't found out anything—"

"Shizu-chan? That's what you call him?"

Izaya froze upon hearing the voice. It wasn't Shizuo's, but it was one that made his blood run cold. "T-Tetsuya?" he said shakily.

"Ah, you remember me." he could hear the smile in his voice. "That's good; I was beginning to think that I'd been forgotten by my oh-so-precious-little-Izaya."

"What do you want?" Izaya growled.

"So fierce. Maybe staying with that monster wasn't such a good idea? You've picked up some of his habits." Tetsuya cooed.

Izaya gritted his teeth but didn't respond.

"Now listen, I've come all this way just to see you. Remember when your father would leave you with me so that he could go and do his job? Remember all the games we played?"

Izaya shivered from the disgusting memories, all his touches felt wrong and dirty, they were cold. Even now, after so many years, he could still feel them. It was one of the reasons why he moved away from that place.

"And remember how you lost your virginity to me? I was so happy that you allowed me to do that." His voice had turned dark. "You were so eager and loving that you stole my heart the moment we met. And we had so much fun. It was like we are soul mates, born to be together until death. Isn't that right, Izaya my love?"

His trembling only got worse at the memory. He didn't give his consent when Tetsuya forced himself on him. If he had the chance to redo his childhood, Izaya would repeatedly hit the button that said he could in a heartbeat. Anything to rid himself of those memories and anything to rid himself of that demon.

"But now I have one question for you. Why are you with someone else even after I've told you not to love another but me?" his voice held malice.

"Because, unlike you, Shizu-chan loves me for who I am rather than my body and looks." Izaya said. "He treats me gently and everything he does is kind and loving. Unlike you."

It's true, Shizuo loved him. His kisses were sweet and gentle, his touches were warm and soft and he loved every minute spent with him. Shizuo would protect him when he was in danger, he'd stroke his hair and cuddle him until he fell asleep and even then wouldn't let go, he'd comfort him when he was upset and he'd do everything he could to get him to smile. And now those thoughts made Izaya smile.

Tetsuya laughed. "Are you sure it's not from pity that he's like that? After all, you two have hated each other how long now? Five years? Six years? Don't you think that the love you hold is fake?"

"No! You're wrong!" Izaya snapped. "He's not like that. He's not like you. Shizuo is kind and gentle, despite his violent nature, he's nice and I love him and he loves me. You're just an ass with an obsession."

"IT IS NOT AN OBSESSION!" Tetsuya roared, "it is love, plain and simple, I love you Izaya, you belong to me and only me. No one else is allowed to have you."

"Then why did you get those guys to rape me?" Izaya snapped.

"Because, you needed punishment, you needed to know what happens when you love someone other than me. But it was also to bring you closer to me, to show that if you mess up and fall in love with someone else, you will be punished with what happens in love, and that is sex."

"Bastard!" Izaya growled. Shizuo better hurry up and kill this guy before he marches out there and kills him himself.

"Oh, look who I found, the monster Shizu-chan. Tell me my little Izaya, have you ever tried to kill the monster using a poisoned blade?" Tetsuya held an amused tone.

Izaya's eyes widen. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh yes I would, and a poison so strong that it would kill a normal person with an instant death, not matter if cut, stabbed or grazed. You need punishment Izaya. No one can have you but me, no one can touch you but me, and no one is allowed to have you but me. Do you understand? Well, I should be going now; the beast won't kill himself now would he?"

Izaya was about to respond, but the line went dead. Shizuo needed help, and he was the only one who could help him. Vaulting to his feet, Izaya grabbed his jacket and stuffed as many knifes as he could fit before racing out the door, towards the fight that was about to occur.

But before then, he pulled out his phone and dialled in a number before placing it to his ear, "Shiki? I know who that guy is that's been attacking your syndicate."

…

"Oh Shizuo!" Tetsuya cooed. A katana in his grasp as he had a hand stuck in his jacket pocket.

Shizuo froze in his tracks and craned his head back, glaring fiercely at the man before him. A deadly grin spread across his face as he turned to face the man. "About time you showed up. I was beginning to get bored waiting and go looking for you."

"Hmm? Shizuo?" Tom turned around hearing Shizuo speak.

"Is that so?" Tetsuya smirked. He gripped his katana tighter in his left hand.

"Don't worry Tom; this will be over very quickly." Shizuo cracked his knuckles and began marching towards Tetsuya.

"Yes that's right. Come to your death stupid beast." Tetsuya flicked the guard of his katana and gripped the hilt, pulling it from the scabbard. The blade held a green tint that went mostly unnoticed.

Shizuo reached out and pulled a street sign from the sidewalk, gripping it in one hand while unbuttoning his collar. Tetsuya dropped his scabbard and gripped the hilt with both hands.

Then Shizuo leapt at him, sign post arched back and he swung. Tetsuya blocked, blade grinding against the metal pole and raced towards him, hoping to slice his chest or cut his arm from his body but failed as Shizuo pushed him away.

Tetsuya skidded but charged for Shizuo again, they clashed again but Shizuo swatted the blade away and arched his fist back, swinging a punch that missed. Tetsuya slashed at him again and again but each time he was blocked or dodged which was beginning to annoy him since he was very skilled but this guy was something else. He could always cut his victims, so why was this guy so hard to stab?

"Bastard!" Shizuo growled, pulling the sign post behind him and thrusting it forwards, tossing it with blinding speed only to graze tetsuya's cheek as he leaned to the side.

This obviously wasn't working as Shizuo ran and gripped the closest vending machine, ripping it from the ground and hurtling it towards Tetsuya. He jumped out of the way towards his scabbard, sheathing his sword and racing down the street.

"Get your ass back here!" Shizuo pursued him. Tetsuya leapt onto a trash bin and jumped up to the over hangs of the street shops. He raced across them with ease but wasn't surprised when he saw Shizuo following him on the streets below, yanking signs from the ground and tossing them lighting fast at him that he slipped past them without a problem, twisting and turning, flipping and dodging.

This guy was better than Izaya, Shizuo growled. Tetsuya leapt from the roof to a telegraph pole, spinning around it until he touched base and sliced the bottom, the end falling towards Shizuo who caught it, ripping the electric wires away and tossing it towards Tetsuya, who dipped behind a building just in time.

Shizuo chased after him, not wanting to let this guy out of his sight now that he's found him. But when he turned the corner, Tetsuya stood there, already whipping his sword out and Shizuo barely had any time to dodge as the blade just grazed the skin of his shoulder.

Tetsuya's grin widen when Shizuo stumbled backwards, he saw the small beads of blood forming on his shoulder as his shirt was ripped. "Looks like I win." He sheathed his katana with a look of triumphant. There was a pause between them.

"You bastard!" Shizuo ripping a stop sign from the ground next to him and hurtling it towards Tetsuya, surprising him as he only just managed to duck out of the way.

"H-how?" Tetsuya seethed, "how are you still standing?" he unsheathed his katana, pointing the blade at Shizuo who was about ready to send him flying. "You should be dying now, so die already!" He leapt at him, blade out in front.

Suddenly, a knife blade shot past him, stopping him from his movements and they both turned to see Izaya standing there.

"I-Izaya?" Shizuo blinked, a little confused as to why he was there.

"Finally found you." Izaya smiled, holding a few knife blades in between his fingers.

"What are you doing here?" Shizuo asked, facing him fully. Izaya's eyes widen when he saw the slight graze on Shizuo shoulder and raced towards him.

"Are you ok? Your cut!" Izaya ripped open the sleeve and examined the slice, it didn't seem that bad but he didn't know what poison Tetsuya used so it was going to be difficult to judge the wound and what time he had.

"STOP IT!" Tetsuya leapt between them, but Shizuo pushed Izaya away so he didn't get cut. "No one touches Izaya but me!" Tetsuya stood in front of Shizuo, blade pointed to his throat. "Does your pea brain understand that? He's mine, he belongs to me and me alone, he's not allowed to be anyone else."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes. "Izaya doesn't belong to anyone, and he definitely doesn't belong to you. He's a human, not a belonging!"

"How could you understand? You don't understand what it means to love someone; you're a monster who is feared by everyone. A beast in human form that could easily destroy everything he touched, everyone he loved. I'm surprised you're not in jail for being a monster—"

A knife stabbed into his shoulder, Tetsuya gasped and looked behind him to see Izaya glaring death, "Shizu-chan isn't a monster. He's human." He twisted the blade and Tetsuya let out a yelp as blood splash out and begun running down his side and back. "Unlike you who is the truth monster."

He yanked the knife out of his shoulder and nodded towards Shizuo, who arched his fist back with a smirk as Izaya leapt out of the way. "I'm not holding back," he grinned.

His fist collided with Tetsuya's cheek, sending him flying into the wall of a shop, smashing it to pieces and let the rubble topple onto him as dust erupted from the hole.

However, Tetsuya soon stumbled out of the wreckage, sword still in hand as the other held his head, blood streaming down as he leaned against the wall for support.

Shizuo went to finish the job but Izaya stopped him. Shizuo turned to look at him and protest, but Izaya shook his head. "The awakusu group will finish the job. For now, let's go to shinra's to get your cut taken care of."

"Why? It's not that bad," Shizuo said. "It's just a cut."

They heard laughing as Tetsuya stumbled towards them, trembling from the shock. "There's nothing you can do, he's dead already. The poison is working its way through his body."

Shizuo blinked at the comment while Izaya stepped forward. "What kind of poison did you use exactly?" he asked.

"Arsenic," Tetsuya said with a winning smile.

They both stared at him flatly. A silence past through them as they stared at him. Tetsuya was just about to ask what was wrong when Izaya spoke instead.

"I've used poison dart frog and Shizu-chan still walked away." Izaya sighed. "If there's one thing you should know, it's that Shizu-chan isn't a normal human. His body can take a lot more than just a simple graze from arsenic." Shizuo stood there nodding with arms folded across his chest. "Anyway, the awakusu should be arriving any second now to take you away."

"W-wha—?" he was cut off by a sudden black sedan pulling up in front of him. Men in black suits filed out of the car and surrounded Tetsuya, then they began dragging him into the back when a man in a white suit stepped out, he smiled at Izaya.

"I thank you for your hard work," Shiki smiled. "You've done well, the both of you." he bowed slightly in thanks and headed back to the car. After a few seconds, they disappeared down the road and out of sight.

"Come on, we need to get you to Shinra so you can be treated." Izaya said.

"I'm fine," Shizuo said.

"At least get treated so you're not going to have problems." Izaya gripped Shizuo's hand and lead him towards Shinra's house.

"Hey—Izaya!" Shizuo snapped but was ignored; he could feel Izaya trembling in his hand even though his stride wasn't shaky. He gave it a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry ok, I'll be alright."

Even though he said that, Izaya still took him to Shinra's and he was treated easily. But now, Izaya felt a sudden weight lift from his shoulders as he smiled at Shizuo, who was currently arguing with Shinra about the antidote for his poison.

[Izaya, you seem different] Celty appeared next to him, showing him her message.

"Of course, I have nothing to fear now," he smiled, "I'm glad that everything turned out good, I wasn't sure that I could be free."

Celty wasn't exactly sure what he meant, but she was glad that he was smiling again, and even happier that this smile held no evil like usual.

…

It had been a year after the Tetsuya incident. Shizuo had moved into Izaya's apartment which was a lot bigger than his. But he still continued his job as Tom's body guard while Izaya went back to work. it was a lot better then hit apartment, mainly because they had more room to move around, especially when they were being very intimate which Izaya loved to tell Namie about just to see her reactions, which never failed to amuse him despite Shizuo's embarrassment whenever she looked at him weird.

And now, everything seemed to sort itself out.

The sun was setting and they both decided on a walk close to the beach, well Shizuo decided it. But there they were, Shizuo leading the way until they reached the lookout point where they could watch the sun set.

Shizuo leaned on the railing while Izaya laid his hands on it. "Wow, your right Shizu-chan, the sun is really pretty when setting over the ocean." Izaya smiled.

"Yeah," Shizuo turned towards Izaya and gulped, he had been planning this for the past three months and he still wasn't sure what to say or do. But now he was just going to wing it and hope for the best. "Hey, Izaya."

"Yeah?" Izaya turned to look at him, smiling.

Shizuo looked at the ground, a blush spread across his cheeks as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, u-um. We've been together now for more than a year and, u-um. Dammit!" he grunted.

"Shizu-chan, what are you saying?" Izaya tilted his head, making him look even cuter and made it even harder for Shizuo to say what he needed to say.

"W-well." he paused taking in a deep breath, _screw it!_ He looked up and stared Izaya straight in the eye. "I'm not quite sure how long our relationship will last. But I want it to last a long time, forever if that's what it takes. I'll protect you from everything and I'll always be on your side. I don't want anyone else to torment you like the others did, so I'll always remain by your side, until death."

"S-Shizu-chan, did you just—" Izaya cut himself off.

"I've got a ring," Shizuo reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box, he'd been saying up a lot of money to get it and bought it without Izaya knowing. He opened it up and showed off a thin, gleaming silver ring with gold patterns sprawled across it. Izaya gasped upon seeing it, his thoughts racing and his heart beat going a million miles an hour. "So will you?"

Tears brimmed as he shut his eyes tight and he nodded his head, "yes." He felt arms circle around his waist and drew him in close. He responded by wrapping his own arms around Shizuo as he cried happily.

"I love you." Shizuo whispered.

"I love you to," Izaya pulled back and kissed him bard on the lips, then buried his face back into Shizuo's chest as he felt the ring slip onto his right hand, ring finger. He was happy beyond belief.

Finally, he felt safe and loved and that all began with this man. This man to whom he hated for years, but never failed to amuse him and keep him guessing. He could never keep up with him. Even now, he was still unpredictable as ever.

But that was just fine with him. Because he loved Shizuo and Shizuo loved him. And right now, that was all he ever needed.

…

 **And finished, finally! Yay happy ending! I hope that you've enjoyed it until the end; I was thinking about adding more but I thought that I'd destroy the story and didn't want to push it.**

 **But fear not, I have another story that will be out some time soon, not to sure when but soon.**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading.**

 **Until next story.**


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